


The Way to a Man's Heart

by FantomeFarouche



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Baking, Blow Jobs, Christmas Cookies, Christmas Smut, E for later chapters, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, First Date, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, Forehead Kisses, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Friendsgiving, Getting Together, Greek God Enjolras, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Hand Jobs, Height Differences, How Do I Tag, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Mario Kart References, Multi, Non-Binary Jean Prouvaire, Past Abuse, References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Thanksgiving, Yuletide, bowling, business owners, courferre, enjoltaire - Freeform, reference to assault, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:28:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 81,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25959802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FantomeFarouche/pseuds/FantomeFarouche
Summary: TW: Alcoholism, emotional abuse, mild assaultAfter losing their meeting spot, The Amis hatch a plan to start their own business. Enjolras and Grantaire butt heads as usual, but with a passion for baking and helping his friends, Grantaire tries to fight his way back into Enjolras's good graces.
Relationships: Combeferre/Courfeyrac, Combeferre/Courfeyrac (Les Misérables), Enjolras/Grantaire, Enjolras/Grantaire (Les Misérables), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 98





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Beta read by AWorldAboutToDawn  
> This is my first work with multiple chapters, so bear with me. I will try to post weekly.

*CRUNCH*

"So who is going to be in charge of arranging the flyers? Courf? Good," Enjolras asked his friends as he checked items off on his clipboard.

*CRUNCH*

"Feuilly, you were in touch with the town, correct?" Feuilly nodded a yes.

*CRUNCH*

"And Jehan, you said you had the phone numbers?" Jehan gave a thumbs up. "Ok good. Now about the fundraiser…"

*CRUNCH CRUNCH* 

"Ok ok, where is that sound coming from?" He scanned the room, perturbed.

"Oh, sorry Enj. It's just that these cookies are  _ bangin’! _ " Bahorel answered with his mouth full.

"Rel, you know we don't allow food at meetings. They have rules here," Enj scolded. 

"Oh yeah, I get it. They were in my bag for later and I was hungry and I..."

"It's fine." Enjolras snapped back with a sigh. He put his right thumb and index finger to his forehead and started rubbing as he always did when he was frustrated beyond words.

"Where did you get those?" Joly asked, much to Enjolras's chagrin. He was hoping to squash this quickly.

"Ok, come on guys, let's drop it," Enj said, trying to take back control.

"*Ahem*" Jehan cleared their throat loudly.

"My apologies.  _ Amis, _ can we drop it?" Enj corrected himself as he nodded apologetically at Jehan, who smiled and nodded back.

"Yeah, are those  _ THE COOKIES? _ " Courfeyrac chimed in. This was not going to be squashed quickly.

"You know it! Here!" Bahorel began to pass a ziplock bag filled with those mysterious  _ cookies _ around the room.

"Yes!" exclaimed Bossuet as he took the bag, inspected it for the tastiest looking treat, and passed it along.

"What cookies?" asked Enj, clearly out of the loop

"Grantaire's cookies," replied Jehan as they quickly shoved one into their mouth.

"Grantaire?" Enj asks confusedly.

"PRESENT!" Grantaire half shouted, half mumbled from a table in the corner. He had his head down in a semiconscious stupor and raised it just enough to show his blue, bloodshot eyes. He made finger guns with his left hand then put his head down again, back to oblivion. Enjolras shook his head.

"Grantaire's cookies? These better not be filled with some sort of narcotic." Enjolras was losing control of this meeting. Everyone started to laugh.

"Lighten up, Enj. You think Ferre would eat these if they had ‘narcotics in them’?" Courf asked while making quotation signs with his hands, almost mockingly. Enj looked at Combeferre only to see his cheeks stuffed and half a cookie in his hand. Enj gave him a look as if to say, ‘I thought you were on my side.’ Combeferre swallowed hard. 

"Here Enj, try one," Combeferre said as he handed Enj the bag as a peace offering. "They're just butter cookies.”

Enjolras grabbed the bag and brought them close to his face to inspect them.

"Come on, Enj," shouted Courf. Not helping. Enjolras was never one to fall for peer pressure. How did he know where these cookies had been? Oh but, he did. They were with Grantaire. And then…

"Wasn't this just in Bahorel's gym bag?" he questioned. He almost gagged. Joly definitely gagged. They did look "normal" though.

"C'mon, eat it! Eat it!" Bahorel started chanting and everyone joined in. Enj  _ hated  _ chanting. Maybe he’d fall for just a little bit of peer pressure this one time? He took a cookie out of the bag and examined it again. He put it to his nose. It  _ smelled _ good. He decided to try it, if for no other reason than to shut his friends up. He put the cookie to his lips and took a bite. Suddenly he was 6 years old again and in his grandmother's kitchen. He was sitting on a red stool and watching her rolling out dough. She handed him a flower shaped cookie cutter with a hole in the middle and guided his hands to push the shapes into the dough. She had trust in him that no one else had ever shown him in his young life. She let him eat the little circles the cutter left. She was a bigger woman and had wispy blond hair, like his. She was wearing an apron with a strawberry pattern over it. It matched the wallpaper that was covered in colorful fruit prints. That's just who she was, colorful and full of life. They were both  _ absolutely covered  _ in flour. She smiled and he felt safe, not like at home. If he had made a mess like this at home, there would be hell to pay. He smiled back and felt warmth all over. He felt so much love and happiness just being there with her in the kitchen. The buttery cookie dough melted in his mouth. 

"Well?" Courf said, and suddenly Enj opened his eyes to see his friends waiting for him to speak. 

"It's ok," he said with the cookie still in his mouth, and was greeted with loud sighs and groans. He was quiet for a minute as he finished chewing. "I can see that we aren't going to be getting any more work done tonight so let's call it." This time the response was a bit happier. Everyone shuffled their things together and pushed in their chairs. They had been meeting in the backroom of the library for years now, but they still felt guilty every time their chairs squealed against the floor or they got too rowdy. They all ducked out in shame with the realization of how noisy they had just been. Bahorel took the bag of cookies back from Enjolras and mouthed ‘sorry.’ Enj nodded. Rel tapped Grantaire on the shoulder.

"Alright champ, time to go," he said as he helped his drunken friend to his feet and they stumbled out the door.

"Grantaire?" Enj said to himself, confused. He packed up his things silently and locked up, thankful to be alone with his thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Minor assault mention

Grantaire woke up with a headache. That's not saying much, since he often woke up with a headache. He groaned as he sat up and held his head in his hands for awhile, his fingers getting tangled in his dark, messy hair while he massaged his temples. How did he get home this time?  _ Oh, right _ . Rel gave him a ride after the meeting. He was thankful that he didn't drive, otherwise figuring out where he put his car would be a puzzle every morning. He wondered what day it was as he was finally able to move himself into a standing position. If the meeting was last night, that meant it was Wednesday?  _ Shit _ . He had to get started. 

He stumbled into the bathroom, washed his face, and put on a t-shirt and pants.  _ Can't bake in your boxers, not even very cool, green ones with pickles on them. We don't want another ‘incident.’  _ He made his way to the kitchen and started the coffee, pre-heated the oven to 350° and waited. Grantaire liked his coffee creamy and sugary, a triple-triple to be exact. It was almost to the point where his friends would tease him that it wasn't really coffee anymore. Funnily enough, his friends never seemed to mind his sweet tooth when they wanted him to bake for them, which was the day's task. Combeferre asked him to bake cupcakes for his boyfriend, Courfeyrac's birthday. Not asked, so much as begged. Ferre was not a good baker and Courf was important to him, so Grantaire agreed for a small fee. It was the same fee he asked of all his friends: $20 to spend on ingredients and the rest was for him. The ingredients never cost more than $10, but booze and coffee can get expensive, and he supposed he should have some money for pizza or something. 

He really didn't understand himself. Both his parents were alcoholics, so you would think that would turn him off of the whole thing. It started as a way to escape and led to a way to turn his brain off for a while. Of course, the coffee woke his brain back up again, so it really became some weird cycle, and that became survival. His brain had always moved too fast for him. Compound that with some depression and a messed up family life and you have a perfect storm.

He got all of his ingredients, bowls, and pans out so he could just go when he was ready. First he had to scroll through Spotify to find something to listen to while he baked. He truly believed that singing your favorite songs while you baked made the food taste better, like some sort of spell and he was a kitchen witch brewing up magical food that made people find him more likeable. 

_ Musicals, no. Classic rock, no.  _ Today would be a pop punk from the mid 00s kind of day. No genre better expressed the melancholy he felt, plus he had some really great memories with his friends from that era. He met most of his friends in the group in high school, some in his grade, some a little younger. Music had brought them together, but activism kept them together. Now he was just happy to have them as company to break up the day. They gave him the same warmth he felt when he drank, but he was frustrated they couldn't help him inside his head. He was an activist too once, before he got so tired.

_ Ok, butter, sugar, eggs and vanilla in one bowl. Flour, cornstarch, baking powder, and salt in the other bowl.  _ It was second nature to him by now. Grantaire got into cooking by necessity, but got into baking by choice. He had the unfortunate luck to be born to very selfish people. He often thought they only wanted children to check it off some "life list" and once he was done nursing, he was on his own. He became very good at cooking, but baking made him happy. One late night watching Cake Wars and he was hooked. Baking was an artform and Grantaire loved making art. It was a way to share with the world and let people in, just a little.

He had just finished pouring the batter into cups and putting the pans in the oven when the doorbell rang. He almost didn't hear it over his music and was a little annoyed he had to turn it down. "Coming!" he shouted as he walked to the door, wiping all the flour and other baking gunk onto his pants, since he just realized he forgot to wear an apron. He opened the door and saw Courf standing there with a folder in his hand.  _ Shit shit shit. _

"Hey, man. What's up?" He asked casually and not at all suspiciously. 

"Hey, can I come in? I wanted to talk to you about something," his friend replied. 

_ As long as you're gone in 20 minutes,  _ Grantaire thought. "Sure, come on in," Grantaire said as he opened the door and gestured for Courf to enter. "Have a seat.” Courf took off his shoes by the door, knowing that Grantaire didn't like messy floors. He sat down on his friend's lumpy, blue, second hand couch. The furniture in Grantaire's rented house wasn't the most comfy, but Courf was happy that his friend had finally settled into his own place away from his family. "So what's up?" Grantaire said as he plopped down on his big, green armchair that was across from the couch. 

"So,” Court started, then paused as he sniffed the air, “Um, R...are you baking something?"

"Astute as always," R retorted.

"Well, that and I thought flour was an interesting fashion choice if you weren't," Courf volleyed.

"You came all this way to ask if I was baking something and judge my outfit?" R chuckled.

"Oh, no. It just smells good is all. What are you making?" Courf asked, interest piqued. It smelled  _ very _ good.

"Oh, it's, um, Viennese whirls. I saw them on The Great British Baking Show and had to try them myself," R lied. Courf would have no idea what he was talking about and wouldn't ask any more questions.

"Oh, one of Mary Berry's recipes, right? I love that show. Ferre and I binge it after dinner some nights."  _ Shit. Change the subject. _

"So then you _ really _ came all this way to talk tv?" R didn't want to be rude, but he knew Courf could get off topic just as easy as he could and the clock was ticking.

"Oh, right, sorry. Um, I was wondering if you could help me with the design for the flyers we're handing out next week? Enj put me in charge of getting them done and to the printer in time, but I could use your help with design seeing as that's your thing and all.” Grantaire had gone to school for graphic design for one whole semester. He ended up dropping out because every week the class would critique each other's work and they always had a problem with his. Too this, not enough that. Grantaire considered art to be subjective, so he left.

"Oh, yes! The flyers, of course! For the thing!" Grantaire said with all the confidence of someone who had slept through the past four meetings. 

"Yeah, the flyers you were completely aware of before right now," Courf said, chuckling as he handed R a piece of paper with some of the details on it.

_Fundraiser for the ABC Cafe,_ it read. There was something else scribbled that looked like a date, and a terrible drawing of a dollar bill with a stick man, possibly Courf himself, with a cup of coffee in his hand, smiling.

"Ok, so some notes…" R laughed.

"Yeah, like I said, not my thing," Courf laughed back.

"What are we selling at this "fundraiser" and, um, what is this for again? I just want to see if you were paying attention," Grantaire asked, totally aware of what was going on.

"Remember how we all pitched in to lease that building in that plaza for the meeting space and cafe?" Courf reminded him.

"Um, of course, I do." R did not remember, but a wave of sadness hit him.

"You know, the plaza off of Saint Denis Street? Remember we picked that area because it seemed... _ safe _ ? " 

"Oh, right." R did remember that they’d finally found a building now, without him. The group used to meet at a little cafe downtown, but in the past few years the place become overrun with, for the sake of politeness, homophobic assholes. It all came to a head one night when a man in a red baseball hat started shouting slurs at the group and assaulted Jehan by ripping their skirt. The group decided then and there that they needed to find a new space to meet, not just for them, but for people like them. Most meeting places for people like them, a range of queerness and gender identities, were in bars now or had loads of people who were hellbent on making their lives miserable. While R didn't mind the booze, he understood the importance of places without it so that younger people could meet and make friends, like he was able to do before he became a lonely alcoholic in his early 30s. Since the incident, they had been meeting in the backroom of the library Ferre worked at. 

"We need the flyer to say something about how this is a safe place for all ages and identities and that we're raising money to fix up the space," Courf mentioned, reading R's mind when his friend had kinda spaced out for a minute.

"Ok… And tell me again what we’re selling at the fundraiser?" R asked as he snapped out of things. 

"Oh, um, I'm not sure we got that far. The meeting was kind of cut short and I forgot to ask. Maybe some sort of food?"

"Right, and how are we obtaining this "food?" Grantaire asked, not remembering why the meeting was cut short, but already knowing the answer to his question.

"Uh," Courf looked at his feet, a little embarrassed to ask.

"I see. So you weren't sent here just for design help. Now you're trying to broker a deal with me to cater as well?" R asked as he smirked.

"Yeah, the food was just my off the cuff idea, but Enj kind of assumed I would ask you for help with the flyer design."

"Well then maybe Enj should ask me himself and not use you as the fall guy," R suggested.

"Uh huh, so you're gonna jump off this to get some alone time with Enj, huh?" Courf teased.

"I didn't say  _ anything  _ about being alone with him. I just need...details," R said, blushing a little.

"But you would  _ prefer  _ if it was alone?" Courf knew exactly what he doing.

"Don't you turn this around on me. You're the one who showed up to my house with little to no prep and a self portrait," Grantaire snapped back, not unkindly.

"So you don't want a meeting with Enj all to yourself?" Courf asked with a raised eyebrow. Just then the oven beeped.

"That's the buzzer, time for you to go," R said, jumping out of his chair. He beckoned Courf toward the door. He needed him to leave for the sake of the cupcakes and his pride.

"Uh, huh. I'll tell Enj that you need to meet with him to discuss ‘details’," Courf said with a wink as he was putting his shoes back on. Grantaire blushed again. "I never told anyone that I figured out you liked him, by the way. Not even Ferre, I promise," Courf assured him, seeing he was making his friend a bit uncomfortable. He was being truthful. Courf knew from experience never to out someone else. 

"Uh huh, yep, time to go. Text me or whatever," R said pushing Courf out the door.

"Bye bye! You can keep my flyer as a souvenir!" Courf said, laughing as the door slammed in his face. R thought about how satisfying it would be to spit in his cupcakes.  _ Oh shit, cupcakes! _

He stopped the oven from beeping and tested them.  _ Perfect _ . The cake tester came out clean. Grantaire put them on the cooling rack as he made the purple frosting, which Ferre said was Courf's favorite color right now. He did want to meet with Enj alone and he did really want to know details.  _ Both things can be true _ .  _ At least Courf didn't figure out his surprise.  _ He turned the music back on loudly so he could frost his friend's cupcakes without being alone with his thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

* _ BEEP BEEP _ *

_ Shit!  _ Grantaire jumped out of his armchair with a start. He had definitely overslept. He scrambled to find his phone. There it was! Barely charged, having been unplugged all night and left on the coffee table.  _ Just a quick text: _

_ Me: Be out in a minute. Running late. _

He ran to the bedroom to find some new underwear, jeans, and picked up the first t-shirt he could find. It may or may not have been previously worn and crumpled like a ball on the floor. It was going to have to do. 

_ *BEEP BEEP* _

He picked his phone to read the text.

_ Pony: Hurry up, you bozo! We can't miss the surprise! _

He shoved the phone into his pocket and booked it for the kitchen. Teeth and hair were going to have to be collateral damage. He grabbed the cupcake boxes he was thankfully smart enough to pack the night before, balancing them in one hand as he grabbed the bottle of Axe he kept by the door for just this sort of thing, gave it a spray, yanked his keys off the key hook, and ran out the door.

Eponine was sitting in the front seat of her very well used, once blue rust bucket. She was leaning over and shouting out the open passenger window to put the boxes in the trunk as she popped it open with a button on her side panel. Gavroche was making faces at him from the backseat and R paused for just a second to stick his tongue out at him. He shuffled some things around to make sure the boxes lay flat, knowing how Ponine drove most days and especially now since she was in a hurry.

*BEEEEEEP*

"ALRIGHT!" Grantaire shouted as he slammed the trunk closed and hopped into the front seat and buckled up. 

"We are going to be so late!" Eponine grumbled at him. 

"I'm sorry. I overslept. You look nice," R offered to smooth things over. She did look nice. She wasn't the type of person to always do her hair up or put makeup on, and would have looked great without it, but you could tell she had put some effort into this look. She had on a red, spaghetti strap tank top, a floral print maxi skirt, and she was wearing her hair in a side pony. This could only mean one thing: she thought Marius was going to be there.

"Yeah, well you don't. What is that, Axe Body Spray? Gross," She snapped back. R didn't know what to say.

"Hey, R! Guess what? I finally beat that old game you let me borrow!" Gavroche interrupted excitedly.

"Oh, Pokemon Red? How did you like it? Are you a… POKEMON MASTER??" Grantaire ended with his best announcer voice. He had let Gav have his old Gameboy Color and old games he liberated from his parents' house recently, while they weren’t home of course. Gav was almost 13 now. There was only a small amount of time left before he decided Grantaire was just some boring adult.

"Uh,  _ yeah _ . I won the whole thing with Charizard!" 

"That's cool, buddy," R said as he looked over his shoulder at the boy. He realized Gavroche was wearing a tie. Suddenly Grantaire felt underdressed.

"Were we supposed to dress up for this?" he asked Eponine as he faced forward again.

"Not necessarily, but most people don't show up to their friend's birthday party in dirty jeans and wrinkled Taking Back Sunday t-shirts from 2006," Eponine replied playfully, but maybe there was still a little bit of attitude in her voice.

"Hey, that was a good year for them. MakeDamnSure is a classic at this point!" Grantaire answered defensively.

"I'm not debating your taste in music. I'm just wondering when you're going to start dressing like you care about yourself?" Her voice was more filled with concern now.

"When I find something about me worth caring about," he said, defeated as he looked down at his lap.

"R, stop. You have a lot of great qualities. You just get stuck in there too much," she said as she lifted her right hand and poked him in the head, never taking her eyes off the road. Eponine had been there for him through a lot of different times in his life. She was his first "girlfriend" for two weeks in second grade. She was the first person he called when bad things were happening at home. She was someone who he could relate to on that front since she also had a terrible home life. He was so proud of her for getting emancipated from her parents and taking custody of her younger siblings the second she was able. She was the first person he told about his crush on Enj. She was so supportive and in every way possible the exact opposite of his parents. Here she was, dressing up for a boy she knew would not pay any attention to her and here he was smelly and gross when he knew that would only get Enj's attention in the worst way. 

"Thanks Pony. You're my hero," R said in a playful voice to lighten the mood.

"Shut up! And stop calling me that! I haven't been a horse girl for longer than you've had that dumb shirt," she said, whacking him on the shoulder.

"You said you weren't gonna pick on my music," he whined.

"I lied," she answered. "We're here."

They had arrived at the restaurant Combeferre had rented out for Courfeyrac's surprise party. They parked around the corner because Eponine's car was hard to miss. They grabbed the presents and cupcakes and snuck into the backroom where they were supposed to meet. Ferre was standing there looking calm, but in a total panic under the surface. He was wearing what appeared to be a brand new sweater vest and a purple bowtie, which everyone knew was probably killing him on the inside because it didn't match.  _ The things we do for love. _

"Put the cake on the empty table in the back with plates and put the gifts on the table with the other gifts and then get to your seats," Ferre said in an authoritative way that was maybe a bit more frantic than he wanted it to sound. They did as they were told. Grantaire noticed all the table cloths were the shade of purple that Ferre had instructed him to decorate the cupcakes with.  _ Got that right at least, _ he thought as he searched the tables for his place holder. Everything was so perfect and organized, very on brand for Ferre. Big banners with the words "Happy 30th" in gold, glittery print were all over the room.  _ Damn, we're getting old _ . 

Grantaire finally found his table. It was in the corner closest to the table they were going to put the food on.  _ Nice. _ He looked at the other names at his table.  _ Looks like Rel, Joly, Bossuet, Musichetta and myself. Not bad.  _ There was one chair that didn't have a name on it across the table from him, but he didn't think much of it. He looked around the room and saw Ponine and Gav got a table with their sister, Azelma, who drove herself here, Fueilly and some other people he didn't know. Courf was a pretty popular guy and he had a lot of friends that he made from the various social clubs he joined. They weren't as close as the Amis, but Ferre probably invited everyone Courf knew to fill the room. Marius was there with his girlfriend, Cosette. Ferre, in all his wisdom, put them at the table farthest away from Ponine. In fact, all the Amis were there with the exception of their fearless leader, Enjolras.  _ Strange _ . But Grantaire was not going to be the one to ask questions. Last thing he needed was for anyone to get suspicious about why he was asking.

Ferre really did an amazing job, even though everyone expected he would. He really cared about Courf. They seemed like such an unlikely couple when they first met in high school, but became fast friends and eventually boyfriends. It was only a matter of time before one of them proposed, Grantaire supposed.

Ferre motioned for everyone to take their places. It was time for the big surprise. Apparently the cover was that Jehan had taken Courf out for a day on the town and was supposed to drop him off here for dinner with Ferre. The lights dimmed and the door opened. 

_ SURPRISE!!!  _

Everyone popped up and screamed as Courf entered the room, followed by Jehan. Courf jumped in surprise and gasped before realizing what was going on. He ran to Ferre, who still looked stressed and gave him a huge kiss. The surprise had gone well. Courf and Jehan looked like they were trying to be celebrities, which was on brand for them, especially at a party. Courf had on a sparkly tiara, a purple muscle shirt and his signature leather pants. Jehan had on a slightly less sparkly tiara, floral button down shirt, tight white pants, high heeled boots that added a few inches to their height, and a purple feather boa. Jehan had taken Courf to the mall and they had made several unnecessary purchases, the boa being one and giant sunglasses being another, which Jehan had convinced Courf to leave in the car, thankfully. Although who was Jehan to waste a good boa?

Everyone got settled and went to their tables. Salad and bread was served as a first course and Grantaire sat happily making small talk with his favorite throuple and Rel. Suddenly, the door opened. Enjolras tried to sneak in quietly without disturbing anyone which is obviously impossible if, while you're trying to be slick, you stub your foot on the leg of someone's chair.

"ENJ! YOU MADE IT!" Courf shouted across the room. He got up from his table, which was just Combeferre and himself, and ran up to Enj to give him a huge hug that threw him and his newly injured toe off balance a bit. Enj hugged back awkwardly and then tried to hand Courf a small, wrapped box while apologizing. Courf whispered not to worry about it while pointing at the table of gifts and then directing Enj’s attention to the empty chair at Grantaire's table. Grantaire looked back down at his food. He didn't want anyone to think he was staring at Enj. He didn't realize no one noticed or cared. Enjolras came over to his table and sat down across from him. 

"Hey, everyone. Sorry I'm late. I had that meeting today and it ran over," Enj explained. He looked stressed as always, but still so put together. His long hair was pulled back in a ponytail and he had on a freshly pressed black button down with an open cardigan over it in his signature red. He looked fantastic, but Grantaire tried desperately not to make eye contact. Everyone at the table continued small talk and asked how Enj's meeting went as they brought out the main course, which was either some sort of chicken and potatoes or grilled tofu and vegetables. Grantaire was a meat lover, so he gladly ate the chicken. 

Eventually everyone sang Happy Birthday and the cupcakes were passed around. Courf came over to the table, mouth full of cupcake to personally thank Grantaire. 

"R, these are  _ delicious! _ Thank you so much! So good! That’s what you were baking yesterday, wasn’t it? You sly dog," he mumbled through the chunks of food, which repulsed Joly wholly, and gave Grantaire a purple kiss on the cheek that ended up leaving a stain for the rest of the evening.

“What can I say? I am a known liar,” R said chuckling

“You’re too much,” Courf responded, still chewing.

"You made these?" Enj asked, surprised for a second time. 

"Um, yeah. Why?" Grantaire asked, still not entirely making eye contact. 

"They don't have weed or anything in them, correct?" Enj asked, meaning more concern than insult. This time Grantaire looked him dead in the eye.

"Yeah, of course, and I made sure Gavroche got the first bite," R answered, a bit insulted.

"Here we go with this again," Bossuet whispered to Musichetta and Joly as they rolled their eyes.

"I just wanted to make sure, seeing as this is the first time I've seen you sober in, what is it, a month now?" Enj answered, now actually trying to get a jab in.

"Oh shit," said Bahorel under his breath.

"Well at least  _ I  _ showed up on time," Grantaire volleyed back at him.

"I was late, but at least  _ I  _ showered," Enj retorted.

"Well, I overslept. I was up late trying to make sense of the stupid flyer Courf asked me to work on."

"Hey, it wasn't stupid!" Courf interjected, still eating his cupcake.

"I'm sorry Courf, your flyer wasn't stupid. It's not your fault  _ your friend _ didn't give any details," he said to Courf while staring at Enjolras.

"Maybe you'd have known the details if you were awake during  _ our  _ meetings," Enj answered, standing up and putting both hands on the table. 

"Maybe I could stay awake for  _ your  _ meetings if they weren't so boring and actually got anything done!" Grantaire said half shouting as he also stood up. 

"I could get things  _ done _ if I could  _ rely  _ on you for anything other than being hammered ALL THE TIME!" Enj shouted back.

"Um hey guys…" Courf tried to regain control.

"Maybe I wouldn't be drunk if I didn't have to listen to your pomposity all the time! Give someone else a turn!" Grantaire shouted despite Courf's protest.

"You had your shot, but YOU QUIT just like you always do. The only thing you ever followed through on WAS FAILURE!" Enj fought back, the venom in his words clearly meant to kill.

"ENOUGH!" Combeferre shouted from across the room. He cleared his throat. "It is time to open presents.” Enjolras sank back in his chair, embarrassed. Grantaire sat back down, defeated. Courf put his hand on his shoulder. This was going to sting for a while. He tapped him twice with an open palm, still covered in cupcake crumbs and rushed over to the present table. Enjolras turned his chair around so he was facing where Courf was. He knew he went too far. 

Jehan's job, and apparently the reason they also got to wear a tiara, was to take notes of the presents and who gave Courf what. They very much enjoyed the sense of importance they felt from having such a job, especially since some of their friends were committed to embarrassing themselves. They sat down in a chair next to the present table and crossed their legs to use their thigh as a writing surface.  _ How fancy I would look if I only had a clipboard, _ they thought. Jehan graciously gave Courf their boa to give the whole present opening experience more pizazz.

Courf really cleaned up as far as presents go. A lot of gift cards, some big ticket items like an air fryer that a few of his friends went in on, a book of pressed flowers from Jehan. As he opened the gifts, he would run up to the giver and gave them a hug. In the box from Enjolras he got a silver bracelet with the quote, "You who suffer because you love, love still more.” He ran up to Enj, who was still red in the face, and gave him a hug. He could tell Enj didn't want one, but he insisted anyway. He went back to the table and announced thanks to everyone.

"A special thanks to Grantaire for those delicious cupcakes! And of course to Combeferre for throwing this amazing party. I'm so happy you remembered I'm going through my purple phase. You did amazing, babe. I can't thank you enough," Courf said, blowing a kiss.

"There is one more gift," Combeferre said as he stood up and approached Courf. Courf looked a bit confused, but was excited nonetheless. Ferre stopped in front of the table and motioned for Courf to join him. Courf obliged, running up and giving Ferre a kiss. 

"Thank you all for coming here today to celebrate Courfeyrac's special day. You were all so generous with your wallets and your time," he said, suddenly looking very nervous. He turned to face Courf. He grabbed his hand and looked him in the eyes. 

"Courf, as a wise man once said, 'Life is the flower for which love is the honey.’ Since you are my honey, can I ask you something?" Combeferre said, his voice shaking. Courf nodded nervously. Combeferre, still holding Courf's right hand, dropped to his knees and pulled a box out of his pocket. It held a beautiful ring, a gold band with an amethyst stone.

"Courfeyrac, will you marry me?" He managed to let the words come out. Courf teared up and gasped. 

"Of course I will! I mean yes!!" Courf shouted excitedly as he collapsed onto Combeferre, kissing him hard and knocking him onto the ground. Everyone stood and cheered. They both finally stood back off after a moment of rolling back and forth on the floor in a glow of happiness, both of them becoming entangled in the boa. Combeferre put the ring on Courf's left ring finger.

"He said yes!" Combeferre shouted as everyone cheered again. Courf kissed his fiance, happier than he had ever been. Jehan was sobbing and had to put their notes down so they didn't get wet. Enjolras was clapping for his friends, but was now an entirely new shade of embarrassment. Grantaire was happy beyond words for his friends, and it made him forget the hurt in his heart for just a few minutes. Even Bahorel had a little tear in his eye. 

Everyone offered congratulations to the happy couple as they gathered their things to leave. Jehan, being the  _ official _ birthday assistant, stayed behind to help clear the room and load gifts into the car. Grantaire wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. He hugged Courf and Ferre and offered congratulations again and was thanked numerous times. Courf gave him a kind of reassuring smile, which he ran away from to find Ponine and Gav. Enjolras apologized profusely to the newly engaged couple, who insisted it was not a big deal. Enj turned around to try and find Grantaire to apologize, but he was already gone. 

Eponine drove for a while in silence before turning to look at him and asking at a stop light, "You want to talk about it?” Grantaire shook his head no, not raising his head any higher than just enough to see his blue, bloodshot eyes. Ponine grabbed his left hand with her right hand and squeezed. She held on until they pulled up to his house.

"You going to be ok?" She asked with love in her voice.

"Yeah, I just need to be alone for a bit," he said. "I'll be ok." 

"You sure you don’t need me to stay?"

"No, I'm fine." He squeezed her hand back. "I'll text if I need anything," he said with a half smile, more to assure her than because he felt it. 

"Ok, love ya," she said to him as he got out of the car. 

"Love you both, too," he said waving. He bent down to wave bye to Gavroche, who was sitting in awkward silence in the backseat. 

Grantaire kicked off his sneakers as he got in the door. He waved one last time to Eponine as she drove away. He put his keys on the hook and plopped himself face down on the couch, not even bothering to turn on the light


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Posting the next chapter in a few days since this is a flashback
> 
> TW: Alcoholism, Reference to slurs (but no slurs), Emotional abuse, Past trauma, Depression

10 years ago:

Grantaire was sitting on his bed with his headphones on. He had just finished his playlist with all his favorite MCR songs for his ipod mini instead of working on his homework. He decided to call it “Demolition Lovers” after his favorite song. It was after 11pm, but his parents were still out. Even though he had the whole house to himself, he still felt safest in the fortress he made in his room. He wished he could've afforded to stay on campus, but seeing as it took him a few years to save up to go to school at all, he had to take what he could get. He had his laptop open and he was frustrated with how his project for school was coming. This, too, would've been easier if he could've bought a Macbook with all the good art programs, but he had to settle for a PC and the knockoffs.  _ Maybe this will make the professors more impressed because I had to work so hard,  _ he thought. Just then his laptop made a doorbell sound. Eponine had signed on messenger. He could definitely use a break and someone to talk to. He opened up a chat window:

GuitaRgod9: Hey, Pony. U up 4 a chat?

MistyRiverXO: I'm only on 4 a sec. Mind if I call?

GuitaRgod9: Yeah, call my cell. I have unlimited night time minutes

MistyRiverXO: Sweet. 

Grantaire closed the chat window and waited. A minute later the phone rang.

"Hey, what's up?" R answered.

"Not much. What are you up to?" Ponine responded.

"Trying to do some homework, but failing miserably. My parents aren’t home yet so I was hoping to use the time to get some work done," R answered back, holding his phone in one hand and playing with his computer cord with the other.

"I just got Gav to sleep. He is so cute, but this kid is going to be trouble some day," she said, laughing. 

"He's a sweetie pie. How could he ever cause any trouble? He only bit me once the last time I saw him," R said sarcastically.

"Very funny. You get all that work done for the rally you and Enj are running?" 

"Yeah, actually. I'm supposed to bring all the signs and flyers bright and early tomorrow. You know, I think if we can get the other students passionate about climate change, I bet in 10 years we'll be well on our way to seriously making an impact," R said with confidence. Enjolras was a high school friend of his who had a passion for a lot of the same things he did: helping the environment, equal rights and marriage equality, immigrant rights, fighting systematic racism, among other things. Grantaire also had a secret passion for Enjolras.

"Dream big, dude. If you could take half of that energy you have and apply it, between the two of you, you could change the world," Eponine tried to inspire confidence in Grantaire. She knew he always had big ideas which sometimes led him to get overwhelmed if he couldn't achieve them. He also always acted like he was trying to prove to the world he had a reason to be here. Or maybe he was just trying to prove it to himself.

"Enj got more of our old friends involved. Combeferre and Courfeyrac have been in on it since the beginning, but they got Jehan and Feuilly to join us now, too. Between them, Rel, Joly and Bossuet, we've got quite a group now. I heard Courf even got  _ Marius  _ to consider helping out," he added that last part to try and convince her to consider joining them in her free time.

"I still have a lot going on, but if Azelma can watch Gav a few nights a week, maybe I can pitch in. On  _ that  _ topic, have you maybe talked to Enj about what we talked about yet?" she asked teasingly.

"Believe it or not, no I haven't. I just…" He paused for a second to think of what to say. "I don't know if he's looking for that right now or if he even likes guys or if he would even like me or…" Grantaire started to ramble.

"Stop! No excuses. If you're not comfortable yet, then you shouldn't do it. But I have it on good authority from Courf that he and Enj used to check out guys together all the time," she tried to reassure him.

"You didn't tell Courf did you?" Grantaire asked as he suddenly felt all the blood drain from his body.

"No, no, no. I would never. I know they're good friends and I thought some insider information would help. No girls, only boys. Both of them," Eponine tried to calm him. She did not mean to cause any sort of panic.

"Ok. Really? I mean, ok, yeah, good. Well not  _ good _ good because that's still assuming he'd like me and -" He caught his breath long enough to start rambling again.

"R. Honestly. You're great. He'd be lucky to have you." She loved R to death, but he could really get himself going. "Maybe start with coming out to your friends at all. They would obviously be supportive. Jehan, Courf, Combeferre, and Enj at the very least. And maybe Joly and Bossuet. I'm starting to think they aren't just sharing Musichetta. They're very flirty. And Rel and Feuilly, they love you guys and if they didn't judge anyone else, they certainly wouldn't judge you. You have to let people in so they can see how wonderful you are." She really wanted Grantaire to see in himself what she saw in him, a kind soul with so much potential. She knew first hand though that a lifetime of living with parents who are both unloving and selfish can do terrible damage to your self esteem.

"Thanks, Pony." He never knew what to say when a person complimented him. It was like it was new to him every single time it happened. "I should probably get back to work soon. And I've gotta make sure I'm up early to get the stuff to Enj."

"Alright, dude. Talk to you soon. Love you. Take it easy on yourself," she said back in a comforting voice.

"Love you, too," R said and hung up the phone. He had to try to do some of this school work and try to be in bed by 1 at least.

About half an hour passed when Grantaire heard the door unlocking.  _ Shit. Look who came back. _ He flinched as he heard the door slam against the wall as it opened. 

"Grantaire… you awake?" his father called out drunkenly.

"Quiet! You're gonna wake up the neighbors and they're gonna call the cops again," he heard his mother shout as if she thought she was whispering. Grantaire thought, _ If I just sit quietly, maybe they'll just go to bed.  _ That was not the case as his father opened the door to his bedroom and left himself in.

"'Taire, solve a riddle for me 'n your mother. If I have a free drink coming, shouldn't I be able to pick which drink?" His father slurred his words at him. This could be trouble. 

"I don't know, Dad, guess it depends on the bar." He had long ago learned that the safest answer was a neutral one.

"Well, you see this bartender said buy one, get one specials only count towards beer, but you know they could give me whatever I want, he was just being…" His dad proceeded to somehow come up with several statements about this bartender who slighted him that were both completely racist and homophobic. Grantaire attempted to tune him out, but also listen for key phrases so his father thought he was still listening. It didn't work. After ranting for awhile, he became quiet and looked around the room.  _ Shit, the signs! _ Grantaire's father noticed the signs he had worked on for the climate change rally. This wasn't going to end well. 

"More 'save the earth' bullshit? You pretending to be political again? You still getting on your little soapbox with your little liberal friends?" He also manage to throw in some homophobic slurs about his friends. Grantaire tried to keep his head down and waited for him to stop. 

"Are you listening to me? No. I'm not one of your social justice league buddies or whatever so you can't hear me? Well listen to this!" His father ran over to the signs and started to rip them, smash them, stomp on them, anything he could do to crush both the signs and his son's spirit.

"Dad, please stop!" Grantaire got up to try and save some of the signs, but it was too late. His mother came in the room then and he was hoping she would calm him down.

"'Taire, why'd you have to piss him off? You know the anger isn't good for his heart." She was obviously not there to help.

"I didn't do anything. He came in here to wreck shit." He knew fighting back was not going to work, but he couldn't help it. 

"Can't you keep your political shit out of the house?" his mom asked, lighting a cigarette and staring at her husband who was still going to town on the signs.

"It's my stuff. It was just going to be here until tomorrow." Grantaire was starting to well up. His voice started to shake.

"Oh don't start with this crying shit. Be a man. You know what? If you don't like how you were raised here, maybe you should leave! When my father came to this country from Sicily, he didn't do any of this crying shit. He went out to get a real job. Ask your mom if her parents came all the way from Greece and France to sit on a lawn and whine about shit all day. No. They got to work. So that you kids can have your little 'protests'." His father was on a roll now. Grantaire knew the more upset he got, the worse it would get. He had to get out of there. He ran to his bed and shoved his computer and all things still attached to it into his backpack, grabbed his phone and put it in his pocket, and rushed past his parents and out of the room, almost bumping into his mom's lit cigarette. He grabbed the first coat he could find, threw on his shoes and ran out the door, his father still shouting in the distance.

It was well past 2 am now and he had no idea what to do. He didn't want to bother Eponine, but maybe she was still awake. He got a good distance away from the house and stopped to sit on a bench to make the call. 

*Ring ring*

_ Please pick up. _

"Hey, R. It's late. What's up?" She answered, thankfully. It wasn't until just then that Grantaire allowed himself to cry.

"Can I come sleep over for the night? I promise I will be quiet and won't wake Gav," he said through the sobs.

"Of course. Where are you? You ok? Want me to pick you up?" She asked, full of concern.

"I'm ok. I can walk. I'll tell you when I get there. See you soon. And Eponine, thank you." He hated worrying her.

"Don't worry about it. Be safe. See you soon," Eponine said as Grantaire hung up the phone and started walking. He hoped the cool night air would help him calm down.

The next day, he got to the meeting place at 7am, just as he promised. He was in yesterday's clothes, but at least he had gotten a shower in. Ponine dropped him off. His back was a little sore from sleeping on her lumpy couch, but it was better than his parents’ house. He didn't sleep much anyway.

Everyone was standing around waiting when he got there. He got a few looks of confusion as he walked up. He was greeted by everyone, Courf gave him a hug, everything started out smoothly. Then it happened.

"Hey, R, where are all the signs? Did you leave them in the car or something?" Enj asked. Grantaire couldn't even look at him.

"Um, no Enj. I don't have them," he explained, still looking at his feet.

"Don't have them? Are they at your house and you forgot them or...?" Enj asked, this time a little confused.

"No, I don't have them, period. I don't have any signs for you guys. I'm sorry," Grantaire said, this time looking up and meeting all of their confused gazes.

"Were you just busy or did you forget to do them? Help me out, man," Enjolras was beyond confusion now and was landing on disappointed.

"No, I guess I just didn't do them. I don't have them. I messed up," Grantaire stated matter of factly now, almost with an attitude. He didn't want to be questioned anymore and he definitely didn't want to talk about what happened. 

"I'm sure we can figure something out," said Courf to try and smooth things over. 

"No, we don't have time now. Geez, Grantaire. We were counting on you. Can you at least explain why you decided to let everyone down?" Enj said. It was a bad choice of wording.

"Decided? Yeah, I decided to let you down because maybe I have more important things to deal with then making stupid signs for causes I don't believe in anymore." Grantaire also made a bad choice with wording.

"If we hurry, we can get to the bookshop and we can grab some markers and poster board," Combeferre suggested to try and move the conversation forward.

"I guess we have to now," Enj said to Combeferre before turning his attention back to Grantaire. "I wish you would've told me yesterday that you didn't care anymore. It would've saved us some trouble. This seems unlike you. I'm just shocked."

"Well, I guess this is who I am now. Just someone who lets people down," Grantaire said, looking down again. He didn't know what he was trying to say. He definitely didn't want to tell them what really happened, but was this better?

"Grantaire, I…," Enj started to say something, but he didn't know what to say. He had an epiphany. He walked over to Grantaire and put his hand on his shoulder. "Grantaire, clearly something is going on that you're not ready to talk about. Forget about the posters. Please come help us make some signs," Enj said sweetly. The other Amis joined in trying to reassure him that it was ok. 

"Ok, I'll come," he answered after a minute, looking up to see Enj's concerned face. How could he say no to those eyes? He smiled and Enj smiled back. He truly was a good leader. Enj had given him a second chance and he wasn't going to let him down again.

  
  


5 years ago:

Grantaire had been working hard for about 4 years now. After realizing art school was a lost cause, he poured his heart into learning new skills that could help him advance. Some nights he'd play guitar outside the subway station. Some nights he would work on art commissions people bought from him online. Some nights he worked as a bartender. But when he had free time, he would bake. There was something about baking that felt like love. All he had to do was put some tunes on and belt them out as he rolled, scooped, stirred, and danced a little on the side. He had been living back and forth between Eponine and his parent's house and had finally saved up enough money to rent his own place. Eponine would've let him stay full time, but with Gavroche growing up, he thought he deserved his own room. The first thing he looked for, and probably the only thing that mattered, was a place with a nice, bright kitchen. He found a little house for rent that he loved and everything seemed to finally fall in place. Except for one thing.

Grantaire still went to meetings with the Amis every Tuesday. Enjolras had become a full fledged leader at this point. He had long forgiven Grantaire for the situation with the posters as far as he knew and that seemed like a little blip in the past now. He still hadn't told Enj how he felt, but he was starting to work up the courage. A few years back, after a night out with Courf, he accidentally let it slip out. Courf was sworn to secrecy and as far as he knew, he kept that promise. Grantaire and Bahorel had become gym buddies and Bahorel had asked him point blank one day after a workout, but he quickly dismissed any idea of it. Rel seemed satisfied with that answer. Other than that, his sexuality and crush had remained a secret. 

The Amis were working on a big project that they hoped would become their greatest achievement yet. In the past few years, they had been very good at raising funds for their causes, organized a volunteer group to clean up litter at the parks and along the highways, and even created a scholarship fund at their old high school. With marriage equality becoming legal just a few weeks ago, the group felt unstoppable. Recently there had been an incident at the cafe they used to hold meetings at, and they were in need of a new space. Combeferre, who was now a librarian, was able to offer the room in the back of the library he worked for. It was a small space, but feasible as long as they were quiet during the working hours. They were often reminded by Ferre that just because he had Tuesday's off, didn't mean he wanted to lose his job Wednesday morning. 

The big idea came up at the latest meeting. Everyone was grateful to Ferre for the space, but missed the feel of the cafe. Plus, according to library rules, they were not allowed food or drinks in the library, which really brought the room down. In a stroke of genius, Grantaire stood up from his seat toward the back of the room.

"Maybe, we could have our own cafe,” he pitched.

"You can't be serious," Enj answered from the front of the room.

"Think about it," Grantaire continued. "A space for us to meet, but also for younger people to feel safe. A space where people like Jehan can enjoy themselves," he said as he gestured to Jehan. "A place where people like Courf and Ferre can have a quiet date," he said as he pointed to them, who looked at each other and smiled. "A place away from the loud bars, you know, and it's all ages, so kids who are like us can make friends," he stopped for a second, hoping he didn't just out himself. 

"I like it!" Jehan was the first one to speak up.

"It'll take a lot of planning. Maybe even years," Combeferre added. 

"Owning a business is hard and expensive. How do we fund something like that? Who will be in charge of operations? There are a lot of things that I don't think you're considering," Enj said, frankly.

"That's why if we start figuring it out now, we could have it later. Come on, Enj. I thought you were all about community outreach. This would be huge!" Grantaire continued his pitch. 

"It is huge. Do you have any idea how hard it is to start a business in this economy, let alone maintain it? We all have jobs, R," Enj continued to object.

"Then I'll run it," Grantaire answered back.

"You're going to run it? How? You don't have any business background," Enj retorted.

"I do  _ actually _ . I've been selling my art online for a few years now. I set prices, I ship things. I go to the post office, which is an extremely responsible thing to do," Grantaire said, folding his arms.

"This isn't just doodles and stamp management, R. This is real life with real money." Enj was not buying it.

"I'll put money up," answered Joly. Joly was almost done with his residency and had a job lined up as a pediatrician. 

"There you go," said Grantaire as he waved his arm in Joly's direction while still staring at Enjolras. 

"I have some experience with loans obviously," said Bossuet, who recently had to learn a lot of that the hard way after having his identity stolen.

"I have management experience," inserted Feuilly, who ran the 3rd shift at a local factory. 

"I'm good at phone calls and filing paperwork," said Jehan, who was a secretary for several years before becoming a freelance writer for the local newspaper. Grantaire started to get a little smirk, which Enjolras saw and hated. His plan was working.

"You guys are really serious?," said Enj looking exasperated.

"*Ahem*," Jehan cleared their throat.

"Sorry, you...  _ all _ are really serious?" Enj corrected. He was starting to lose control of the situation.

"Why not, Enj? If we try and we fail, then at least we tried right?" Grantaire said with the same hopeful smirk across his lips. Enjolras sent him daggers with his eyes. He knew he was outnumbered. 

"Fine," Enjolras conceded. Everyone started talking very fast and excitedly. Enjolras sent Grantaire one last glare before he said, "Ok then. Let's get to work.”

Everyone else had all packed up and left, leaving Enjolras and Grantaire alone.

"That turned out to be kind of productive," R said to Enj as he approached him.

"Yeah, I guess so," Enj responded, still gathering his things.

"Why are you so against this? Isn't this the kind of thing we do?" R questioned.

"I'm just worried we are going to get in over our heads and this is going to stop us from our other work," Enj said, finally looking up at him. "For the record, it's a nice idea, I just wonder if this is too much to ask of yourself. This is a lot of work."

"I can handle it." Grantaire tried to sound reassuring.

"I just don't want… you know," Enj started to say something, but cut himself off.

"What?" R asked

"I just don't want it to turn out like the signs," Enj said with a sigh. "We all gave you money, trusted you, you showed up with no signs and never gave any explanation."

"This is different," defended R.

"How is it different?" Enj asked.

"It just is. Look, I thought we were over this. Don't you trust me?" R asked, a little hurt.

"It's not just that, R," Enj continued. "I want to trust you, but it's hard to trust someone who won't let you in. You always come in here with all this  _ passion _ and then you fizzle out when people try to get close to you."

"So then you don't trust me is what you're saying?" R was definitely hurt now. 

"I really want to, R. But we all know you can be a bit...unpredictable," Enj stopped himself short again. 

"Unpredictable?" R was more than hurt, now he was insulted.

"You show up late or not at all sometimes. With a project this big I need you to be on time. There will be people we have to talk to, paperwork to fill out. If this is your project, I need a guarantee," Enj said in a way that sounded like he was pleading with R for reassurance.

"I can do it. That is the past now. I had a lot going on, but things have changed, I swear," R promised.

"Ok. I guess I'll have to trust you," Enj said as he grabbed his bag. Grantaire did not believe he trusted him. They both left and Enj locked the door behind him. 

Outside, a few of the Amis were talking by their cars. As Grantaire started to walk, a car screeched and came to a hard stop in the middle of the road. The window of the car came down and R realized who it was. His father started shouting out the window.

"If it isn't my good for nothing son and his little boyfriends. Hey, which one of you emasculated my son?" He was clearly drunk. Grantaire wanted to walk away, but he knew he would be followed and he didn't want his dad to know where he lived. He walked up to the car.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Grantaire yelled angrily.

"I saw you walk in there a few hours ago as I was driving by and wondered what the hell you could be doing in there and then I saw all your little boyfriends follow you in. What is this? The whorehouse where you sell your wares?" His father was hellbent on embarrassing him.

"This is a fucking library. You would know that if you ever learned how to read," R shot back angrily. The remaining Amis started to gather. He had to squash this. Then the worst possible thing happened.

"Good evening, sir, can I help you with something?" It was Enjolras. He was approaching the car.

"Uh yeah, are you my son's pimp?" he screamed out the window, addressing Enj now.

"Sir, you are clearly intoxicated and if you do not leave I will call the authorities on you." Enjolras did not have time for games. 

"Whatever, keep my fucking failure of a son. He's not worth the jail time," he shouted as he sped off. Enjolras turned to see if R was ok, but he saw Courf escorting him into his car. Courf gave Enj a thumbs up and held up his hand like a phone and mouthed "call you later.” Enj gave him a wave and walked to his car. 

After that incident, Grantaire closed himself off even more. He refused to talk about it to anyone. He did what he thought he'd never do and started drinking heavily. The level of embarrassment mixed with a feeling that he couldn't trust others had become too much for him. He just wanted to be numb. It worked. He started to miss meetings and when he went he became argumentative or slept the whole time. His workload was distributed to the other Amis who were already in love with the idea of having their own space. He did the bare minimum to keep up his house. None of the work he did required being sober. 

Eventually, his friends had enough and got him some help. Joly helped him find a therapist. Eponine was there to be a confidant. She became the one person he could confide in. One night, she came over and he baked for her. He made his signature butter cookies. It was one of the first things he baked and something he worked hard to improve every time. Word got around to the Amis about his secret talent. Soon they all knew except Enjolras, who would rarely talk to him. They started paying him for treats. When he had something to bake, he stayed sober. He built on that and started to get back on his feet. It took awhile, but after a few years, with the help of his friends, he got back on track. With Eponine's help, he broke into his parents house and was able to liberate some of the things he had to leave behind for the sake of a speedy escape. He started to find himself again. 

1 month ago:

Grantaire went to the Tuesday night meeting. He was sober after having had a few recent setbacks, and ready to listen. He was earnin back the trust of everyone, except Enjolras. Things were really coming together for the cafe. There were only a few things left they had to do to open. They had leased a building in the plaza and even though Grantaire wasn't there when that decision was made, he was eager to jump back in.

"I can set up the meeting with the inspector," Grantaire stood up and said from his seat in the back of the room.

Enjolras didn't even look at him, just simply said, "No.” 

"Why not? I can handle it," Grantaire pleaded.

"You? Grantaire? Who sits across from me and criticizes everything I say? Who has slept through at least 5 of the last 10 meetings? Who usually forgets to shower? You?" Enjolras asked with a sense of exhaustion. 

"Um, yes? I can do it," R said hopefully.

"Grantaire this is one of  _ the most important  _ steps in all this. I can't let you be in charge of this," Enj responded.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Why not? For starters, you have been indifferent and sometimes completely against everything that goes on here. You have shown disregard for everything I say. You are obstinate and obtuse. Why, on god's green earth, should I let you do this?" Enj asked, harshly. The room was silent. The tension between the two of them could've torn the room in half.

"Because I can do it. I promise. Let me show you. I'll do  _ anything _ ," Grantaire made one last stand to plead his case. Enjolras breathed deep. He held his thumb and index finger to his forehead and rubbed it. 

"If I believed that you had a passion for anything anymore, I could. But I don't. So I can't," Enj stated with finality. The past few years had changed Enjolras also. He became much more serious. His added responsibilities became very stressful. He started to see Amis meetings as a job. He was good at delegating work, but as he became his friend's boss, he started to become less of a friend. He kept telling himself if he got through to the next step then he could relax. There was always more work on the next step. He became distant. His friends still treated him the same, the way they treated Grantaire. The Amis truly lived up to their name. As a whole, they remained positive for the sake of moving forward and tried to be there now that two of their friends were in crisis.

Grantaire went home from the meeting and drank again. He needed to feel numb. Enjolras went home after the meeting and plopped face down on his couch, not even stopping to turn on the light.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: References to alcoholism

Enjolras circled the block in his car one more time. He knew exactly where he was going, despite never having been there before. Courf had graciously offered the address and encouragement after Enjolras had spent the morning barraging him with apologies over the phone. Courf was still flying too high above the clouds from his surprise birthday party and engagement to be mad at Enjolras and the way he had acted at said party. No, the reason for the circling was to buy some time to think of what to say. 

Enjolras had completely embarrassed himself and Grantaire by flying off the handle the way he did. He wrestled with the fact that while he was still extremely angry with Grantaire, he needed to be the bigger person. He also felt a little guilty that the reason he needed to bury the hatchet so quickly was because he needed Grantaire. He was normally one to let things lie, but perhaps that's why things with R seemed to boil over so often. There was a deep hurt on his side, and from what he gleaned from yesterday, he may have caused some hurt himself. He needed to find out why he, himself, was holding such a deep grudge against someone who used to be one of his best friends. He knew R had disappointed him in the past, but had he let it sit too long? 

A lot of this resentment started when Grantaire started drinking. He remembered from high school that one of their friends had mentioned in passing that both R's parents were alcoholics and that is why he tried his hardest to stay away from the stuff. And to top it off, R cut everyone out for quite a long time. For almost a year, he didn't come to meetings, he didn't hang out, he rarely answered texts. Didn't he know that they only wanted to help him? And then he left Enjolras to head this huge project that  _ he _ came up with. Everything fell on his shoulders when R checked out. They had originally started the Amis together in high school and to just up and leave like that? Courf and Ferre stepped up immediately, but it didn't feel the same. They were amazing people, activists, and friends, but no one came up with those crazy, outside the box ideas like R. Enjolras had really liked the cafe idea, but he was so afraid that this would happen that he never let R know that it was a good idea, or that it made him a little jealous he hadn't been the one to pitch it. Had all the extra stress he was under turned what could be a quick conversation to deep seeded anger? He had to get to the bottom of this and the only way was to finally hash things out. 

The apology had to be first or no progress would be made. This led to the second reason he was visiting. R was really great at design, despite never finishing school.  _ See, he flaked out on that, too,  _ Enj thought. Courf suggested they bring Grantaire back in by convincing him to help design the flyers for their fundraiser. Enj was very skeptical, remembering what happened the last time they let R design something for them. Courf insisted, saying he could vouch that Grantaire had changed, that things were not what they seemed. Courf always knew secrets about everyone because he was so likable and everyone trusted him. _ What does he have on me? _ Enj wondered. Courf then added that this time, no funds were being exchanged, so if R didn't work out, they didn't lose money and could hire someone. If he couldn’t trust Courf, then he couldn’t trust anyone. Hell, he was even nice to  _ Marius.  _

He finally decided it was time. Enj parked his car in front of the house that Grantaire was renting. It was actually quite a nice looking ranch house. The siding was pale yellow and it had a red roof that looked like it could've matched one of Enj's sweaters. He had not worn one of them today, opting for a more  _ casual _ look of black jeans and a gray t-shirt. The house looked to be in decent repair. The door was mostly frosted glass with black iron making triangles and diamonds over it. There was one small step up to a little porch with a wooden bench that had seen better days and a potted hosta on a small wooden table.  _ Now or never,  _ Enj thought as he hopped up the step and rang the doorbell. He heard movement inside and then the door knob turned. The door opened just enough for him to see Grantaire's face peeking out. He was just about to say "hey" when the door slammed shut again. 

"Grantaire, please open the door. We need to talk," Enj pleaded.

"No," he heard Grantaire say through the door.

"Please? I want to apologize." That wasn't how he wanted to lead the conversation, but here he was.

"Apology accepted. Now leave." What else could he say to get him to open the door?

"I want to talk to you about letting you back in. On the cafe project, I mean. Please?" This was his last idea. The door opened a crack.

"So you need my help?" Only R's one blue eye was showing through the crack.

Enjolras sighed, "Yes. I need your help. The Amis need your help. Please." Grantaire opened the door and ushered him in. The inside was not what he had expected. He found himself in a small living room that had a half wall it shared with a decent sized kitchen. The walls were nearly white and everything was immaculate. There was an older looking, blue couch, a beat up coffee table, and a big green armchair that was also old, but looked like a great chair to read in. There was a small hallway that looked like it led to three more rooms. By the door there was a built in shelf that contained a lot of books and for some reason, a can of Axe Body Spray. 

"Shoes please," Grantaire said as he walked toward the big armchair, sat down and crossed his left leg over his right. Enj kicked his shoes off and placed them on a little rug in front of the shelf. He was thoroughly impressed with R's house and upkeep. R, however, looked like he was wearing the same outfit he was wearing to the party, except he had bare feet.

"Come sit," said R as he clasped his hands together and put them around his left knee. Enj sat down on the couch across from R. He noticed now that behind R on the half wall there was a window that had allowed him to see into the kitchen as he walked in. He couldn't see much of the kitchen from where he was seated, but he could see a big window that was shining the sun directly into his eyes. R was entirely backlit and he couldn't make out his expression. R must have noticed, because he got up really fast and pulled two small accordion doors that sat on top on the half wall shut and closed off the kitchen. He sat back down in the same position he was before.

"So?" R asked after a minute of silence.

"Right. Well first I wanted to apologize for yesterday and…" Enj started, but R waved him off.

"It's whatever. I don't want to talk about it. Tell me about the project." R wanted to try to keep this professional. He was still too heated about their battle to begin peace talks. 

"Well, as Courf mentioned, we would like you to help us design the flyers to attract people to the fundraiser. The  _ details _ you needed to know: it's two weeks from today at 3pm. It's at the firehall down the road from the library. We are raising money for the things we need inside the cafe. New tables, chairs, there is apparently a plumbing issue we need to work out or something…," Enj explained before Grantaire spoke up.

"A plumbing issue?" R interrupted. 

"Honestly, I don't understand it. When I talked to the building inspector, he said we had some leaks in the wall. So we hired a plumber and he couldn't find anything…" Enj began. 

"Wait, you already talked to the building inspector?" Grantaire asked with a little pain in his voice.

_ Fuck,  _ Enj thought. He sighed again, waiting for this to spark another argument. "Yeah, I'm sorry. We had limited days available. It was a whole big thing, but the point is…" he could see the look on Grantaire's face. He looked defeated.  _ Save this, Enj _ . "This guy has been giving us the runaround. He's been kind of a bastard to be honest, since we mentioned what the cafe was going to be. I'm really, really sorry, R. You know I can be a control freak and I wanted to handle it myself." Enj couldn't bear to look at him. He hoped his confession would save some part of R's feelings. The fact that he was nervous that R would mess it up and that he wanted to be in control were both true statements. He hoped that leading with one would ease the pain of having shouted the other one at R on multiple occasions. 

"I know that about you. Doesn't mean I didn't want to be a part of this," R said after a moment. 

"I know. I know you have a problem with me 'always acting like I'm in charge'," Enj said as he made air quotes with his fingers. "To be fair, you let me know quite often at the meetings how you feel."

_ You have no idea how I feel,  _ thought R. "Well, someone has to have the guts to call you on it," he said with a smirk, lightening the conversation for the first time.

"I can always count on you to tell me exactly what you think of me, R," Enj said, allowing himself a half smile. There was another silence, but it felt like some tension had been lifted.

"So what was  _ your  _ idea to make money for the fundraiser?" Grantaire asked. Courf had made a suggestion that Grantaire bake something, but he needed to hear it from Enj.

"I was thinking food?" Enj suggested.

"Ok?" Grantaire asked, hopefully.  _ He’s going to ask me,  _ he thought.

"Something easy?" Enj continued. 

"And that is?" Grantaire's heart was in his mouth.

"I don't know. Like spaghetti or hot dogs? I'm not a good cook so it's gotta be something that doesn’t take much effort or knowledge," Enj stated, not knowing the damage he'd done.

Grantaire's heart fell into his stomach "Oh?" was all he could get out.

_ What did I do now?  _ Enj thought,  _ Fuck. How can I spin this?  _ "Do you have any suggestions, R?" he asked, hoping that asking for R’s input would help him feel included.

_ It is like pulling teeth with this guy. Why do I like him again?  _ thought R. "How about a bake sale?" he suggested. Enj realized what R was trying to do.  _ Oh, he wants to bake. I’ll convince him to offer his help and this will all blow over,  _ Enj thought.

"R, are you kidding me? I can't bake!" Enj said, playing dumb.

_ He can't be that dense,  _ R thought.  _ I'll beat him at his own game. He is going to ask me for help. _ "Oh. Well that stinks. Bake sales are pretty cheap, because all you need is some very basic ingredients and you can make a lot of different things. It was just a suggestion." Grantaire tried hard to hide his smirk. 

_ R, seriously, take the hint, just offer,  _ Enj thought. "Oh, it's too bad we don't know anybody." Enj was sure it would work this time.

"Yeah, that's too bad," R shot back quickly and stubbornly.  _ Just ask, you bozo. _

_ Fine, I’ll be more direct and then he’ll HAVE to offer,  _ Enj thought. "Didn't you bake those cupcakes yesterday? And those cookies at the meeting that everyone liked?"  _ Including me for some reason. _

"Sure did." He was not going to budge an inch.

_ COME ON!  _ Enj was getting tired of this. He had to swallow his pride. "Grantaire, would you be able to bake something for the fundraiser?" he asked, trying not to grit his teeth. Something inside him hated letting Grantaire get his way.

"Oh me? Aren't you afraid I'd lace them with LSD or something?" Grantaire said with a smirk. He knew he won, but he thought he deserved a victory lap.

_ So that's what this is about. _ Enj was starting to understand R a little bit better. He hated losing these unspoken contests, but this was important. He had to concede. "Grantaire, I'm sorry I made those assumptions. Please try to see things from my point of view." It was now or never. "We had been best friends and then something happened and you changed. You wouldn't talk to me about anything anymore. Then you started drinking and I felt like I couldn't trust you. You don't need to tell me what happened. That's a conversation for another day. All I know is you stopped helping out. You stopped hanging out. It was like I didn't know you anymore and then you became this drunken shell of yourself. I felt like my friend was gone." He sighed. He didn't want to dig any deeper. He just wanted to end this conversation peacefully. "Grantaire...R, please help me with the bake sale?" He felt like he bared his whole heart even though he knew that was only the surface.

"I will," R said, after pausing a minute. He could tell it took a lot for Enj to say all that. He was often hurt by Enjolras’s judgement of him and sometimes that made him forget that he had hurt his friends. They had all stood by him, even Enj to an extent, but something had shifted. He knew he made Enj angry and he knew he disappointed him. This was the first time they started to talk about what happened. Grantaire still wasn’t ready to talk about his past, but he was glad Enjolras respected that. Perhaps there was a way to save this friendship yet.

"Ok. So, I'll let you decide what you're making and all that. Will you still design the flyers or is that asking too much?" Enj didn't want to overwhelm him and send him into a spiral. He knew first hand how one more thing to do could send you for a loop and he didn’t want to push Grantaire too hard based on past experiences. He also didn’t want R to take on both tasks and then do neither, leaving himself to pick up the pieces again.

"The flyer is the easy part. I can have that by tomorrow. Although Courf may be disappointed I'm not going to include his self-portrait in the final draft," R joked.

"What?" Now Enj was confused. R laughed and got up and ran to the kitchen. When he came back he was holding Courfeyrac's rough draft he had given him two days ago. He handed it to Enjolras with a flourish. Enj took the flyer from his hand, a little scared of what he might see. When he saw Courf's terrible drawing of himself with a coffee and dollar signs for his eyes, he lost it. He burst out laughing harder than he laughed in maybe years. Grantaire saw Enj's reaction and burst out laughing, himself. He realized he also needed a laugh.

"Please….please don't tell Courf I laughed at his drawing," Enj pleaded through the laughter and tears in his eyes.

"It will be our secret," was all Grantaire was able to spit out. After a minute or so when the laughter died down, Grantaire decided he had to ask.

"So what is the deal with this building inspector?" he asked.

"R, I told you, I'm…" Enj started.

"No, no, not that," Grantaire said, waving his arms in an X formation in front of himself. "I mean, what's his deal? You said he's finding problems and there aren't any?"

"Yeah." Enj was relieved this particular conversation had shifted. "He said we had leaks in the walls and then the plumber came and said he couldn't find a leak. So the guy came back and was like, 'I thought I told you to fix this leak? The next time is a fine,' and I was like, 'that's bullshit,' but we have to use this guy because he's the inspector for the area and it has to pass him and it's just been a nightmare." Enj didn't realize until now he had been so tense about the situation until he had let some of it go.

"And you said you think this guy has other motives?" Grantaire felt in his heart he was the only one who should be causing Enj this much trouble, and even then he didn't want to be malicious about it.

"Honestly, he started acting weird after I mentioned that it was going to be a safe space for LGBTQ+ youth and a place for our meetings. I don't like to speculate, but…" Enj trailed off. 

"He sounds like a real piece of work." Grantaire was furious now, not just for Enj, but because this guy could stop the cafe from opening.

"Yeah." It was weird talking to Grantaire like this. He felt like they hadn't had a civil conversation in ages.

"Can I ask you something?" Grantaire knew this might not work.

"It depends what it is. I guess?" Enj got nervous.

"Let me go with you to talk to this  _ inspector _ ?" He could see in Enj's face that he was getting ready to shut him down. "Not like a 'I'm taking charge here thing'. For support. It seems like this guy is trying to push you around. You should have someone there." Grantaire knew Enj didn't need his protection, but he wanted to help him. And he wanted to meet this asshole. Enj thought for a second. He kinda liked the idea of not being there alone with this guy. Could he trust Grantaire? Maybe it was time to give him a chance to show up again. Maybe he had changed?

"Ok," he said after thinking about it. "But no trouble! And you have to be on time". This was going against every part of Enjolras's better judgement. Worst case scenario, he would be there alone.

"I know I will be there on time because you're going to drive me." Grantaire knew this was a risky move.

"What? Wait, now I'm driving you?" Enj was surprised by the cheek.

"Will that be a problem?" Grantaire asked.

"No. I'm just dreading having to be alone in a car with you," Enj responded jokingly.

"Why? I promise I won't change your radio stations or sing too loud or whatever." Grantaire promised, but he had no intention of keeping it.

"No, I just don't want to have to  _ smell  _ you," Enj teased with a genuine smile. Seeing that smile nearly melted R into his armchair.

"So when is your next meeting with this guy?" Grantaire asked, trying to make sure he didn't stare too long.

"Monday at 2pm." Enjolras had a look of exasperation again.

"You pick me up, I'll have the first draft of the flyer. You and me take on this guy together. What do you say?" R suggested with a full smirk this time. Enj was quiet for a long time. He was going over every pro and con in his head. The worst case was R didn't get in the car and he went alone. The best case involved R being there and not being an embarrassment. So many variables in between. He sighed.

"Fine. I am willing to try this. Please, and I can't stress this enough, do NOT do anything embarrassing.  _ Everything  _ is riding on this." He really could not stress this point enough.

"Enj, I promise I won't let you down." Grantaire resisted the strong urge to hug him. 

_ I really hope you're right,  _ Enj thought. "Just please remember to take a shower."


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another flashback. Next chapter later this week
> 
> TW: Alcoholism, emotional abuse, depression

15 years earlier:

  
  


Enjolras and Courfeyrac had become fast friends from Enjolras's first day at Montmartre High School. Enj had just switched schools now that he was living with his grandmother full time. It had been his choice after his parents found out his "little secret.” A damning search history on the family computer and the lack of knowledge on how to erase said history had led his parents to conclude correctly that their son was gay. Due to some ancient dogma, he could no longer be their son. Thankfully, his mother's mother didn't believe in anything other than the natural world and considered her religion to be love. 

Enj spent most of the first day keeping to himself and trying not to be seen. He had always been painfully shy and his strict parents always pushed him towards perfection rather than friendship. He was content to sit quietly and read, but as his grandmother would say, the universe had other plans. Enj was sitting in the lunchroom at a table as far away from humanity as humanly possible. Courf, who wanted to and would speak to anyone, noticed him in the corner looking pitiful. He decided to walk right up to Enj and start a conversation.

"Hey there, you new here?" Courf asked with a small wave.

"Yeah. It's my first day," Enj answered in a quiet voice. Courf was friendly enough, but he looked intimidatingly confident. He had on a tight, black muscle shirt and even tighter red, plaid pants. 

"You wanna come sit with us?" he asked as he pointed with his thumb to somewhere ambiguous behind him.

"Um, ok." Enj nervously grabbed his things and followed this stranger across the room. His mother would've lectured him about going with strangers. But then again, his mother would've made some very unnecessary comments about how this boy was dressed.

They came to a table where two other people sat. One of them was another boy about his age, wearing a nice sweater and looking well put together.  _ Maybe he and I will get along,  _ Enj thought. The second person was wearing a bright pink t-shirt and earrings, one was a crescent moon and the other was dangly with a star on the end.

"This is Combeferre and Jehan," Enj’s new friend said as he pointed to each of them. "Oops, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Courfeyrac. Oh, and I forgot to ask your name."

"Honestly, who raised you, Courf?" said the person Courfeyrac had said was named Jehan.

"Enjolras," Enj said nervously as he sat down.

"It's nice to meet you Enjolras," the boy called Combeferre said politely. "I trust Courf didn't scare you too much?" he asked. Courf stuck out his tongue at him. Enj chuckled and shook his head.

"So what's your story? Did you just move here?" Jehan asked once Enj got settled.

"Yeah, I…," Enj had no idea how to explain anything to these people he just met. "I moved."

"Cool. How do you like it here?" asked Courf between forkfuls of food.

"It's ok. I think I finally figured out where everything is," Enj said as he opened up the bag lunch his grandmother packed for him. At home he had always packed his own lunch. It almost made him nervous that he wasn't sure what was inside. It was a turkey sandwich and some of the butter cookies they had baked together.

"Nice. Can I see your class schedule?" Courf asked.

"Courf, don't be so forward," Combeferre scolded.

"Oh, it's ok," Enj said as he got his schedule out of the pockets of his jeans. "Maybe one of you can help me figure out the best way to get to world history three minutes after gym when it looks like the gym is at least a five minute walk."

"That's the worst!" Jehan exclaimed. "I had to do that last year. What a nightmare!" Jehan gladly explained that they used a stairway that Enj hadn't seen before to help shave time off of their walk. Something about these three made Enj relax and drop his guard a little. He enjoyed the rest of his lunch believing he was finally making friends.

At the end of the school day, Courf caught up with him again and asked him to hang out. Enj agreed after shooting a quick phone call to his grandmother to let her know he was going to the park. Courf was so vibrant and expressive about everything he said. Enj wondered if having a friend like him could break him out of his shell. 

"So, did you have many friends at your old school?" Courf asked as they walked.

"No, not really. My parents really wanted me to focus on my studies. They said I could make friends as an adult," Enj answered sadly. 

"Sounds like Ferre's parents. I honestly don't know why he talks to me," Courf said while kicking at a rock in their path. "Were you dating anyone, or was that off limits too? Girlfriend? Boyfriend?" Enj flinched when Courf said "boyfriend.” He'd never heard anyone ask a question like that so directly before. Courf picked up on it.

"No and, uh, no. I don't think anyone would've been interested anyway," Enj laughed nervously.

"I don't know why not. You're a cutie! Long blond hair, blue eyes. Movie star looks," Courf said reassuringly, but then he added to ease the tension, "I mean that as a friend or as a person you just met and are trusting not to be a creep.”

"Thank you. That's very kind of you," Enj said with a chuckle.

"Besides I…" Courf stopped and looked around like he was scanning for someone. "I already have a crush on someone," he said with a wink. Maybe a small confession on his part would help Enj feel more comfortable, he thought.

"Oh?" Enj asked curiously, with a small smile forming on his lips. He'd never been invited to take part in gossip before. "Who?"

Courf leaned in and whispered "Combeferre." Enj was taken aback. Was he messing with him? Did he meet someone like him?

"Combeferre from the lunch room Combeferre?" Enj's heart was racing.

"Yeah," Courf said blushing. "It's not a problem for you, is it?

"No! I, um...me," Enj stammered out nervously. He didn't want Courf to think he was disapproving.

"You what?" Courf laughed.

"Me, no I'm...I like guys, too," Enj blurted out and then covered his mouth with his hands. He had never said that out loud before to anyone. He now sincerely hoped Courf wasn't messing around. 

"YOU DO?" Courf asked excitedly while grabbing his arm. 

"Yeah. Yeah I do," Enj said with a smile. He did and now he had a friend to talk to.

"We. Have. So. Much to talk about," Courf said as he jumped up and down still holding Enj's arm. "But one thing," he said, suddenly turning serious. "Please don't tell Ferre I like him. He knows I'm gay, but he doesn't know about that and I have no idea how he'll react."

"Never. Your secret is safe with me. As long as…" Enj paused for a second. "As long as you don't tell anyone about me. I want to be the one to tell people...I think."

"Of course, I would never. I was outed in the worst way," Courf, said looking upset. "An ex-friend of mine caught me kissing a boy once and took pictures and put them all over school. I thought no one would ever talk to me again, but Ferre was cool with it and supportive. That's how I met Jehan, actually. Jehan invited me to a GSA meeting. So I would never tell a soul. That's your story to tell."

"Oh, is Jehan...?" Enj asked.

"Jehan considers themself to be both masculine and feminine and a lover of all different types of people." Courf then added, "You should still ask Jehan about it though when you're comfortable." Enj was so excited to finally have friends that he could talk to about this part of his life. Coming from his parents’ home to this was certainly a culture shock, but one he was excited to experience.

They spent the whole rest of the walk arm in arm, talking about crushes they've had, and Enjolras confided in him about why he had moved. When they finally got to the park, which was mostly empty, Enj could hear the sounds of a guitar playing quietly in the distance. 

"Oh, I think R is here," Courf said suddenly. 

"R?" Enjolras asked as Courf dragged him somewhere by the arm. Under a tree sat a boy who looked a little older than them, strumming a guitar. He had dark, bushy hair and tan features. He was wearing a t-shirt with some writing on it that Enj couldn't make out from behind the guitar any more than a capital "T". His jeans had a hole on the left knee, which he had the guitar propped up on. For some reason he wasn't wearing socks or shoes.

"Hey, Grantaire!" Courf greeted the stranger.

"Oh, hey Courf, Courf's friend," Grantaire greeted them both. As he raised his head up just enough to make eye contact, Enj noticed his eyes were strikingly blue. Enj waved awkwardly.

"This is Enjolras. He just moved here," Courf said, gesturing to Enj.

"Hi, Enjolras. Nice to meet you," Grantaire said with a smile.

"What are we playing today?" Courf asked.

"I'm trying to learn 'Swing Life Away' by Rise Against, but I keep messing up the one part," Grantaire said as he put his guitar down, stood up and walked toward them. Enj could see he was wearing a Taking Back Sunday shirt now.  _ He has good taste in music,  _ Enj thought.

"Rise Against? I know them. They do political songs, right?" Enj jumped in.

"Yeah, this is one of their softer songs though. Are you into politics?" Grantaire asked.

"A little. I mostly got into it now that we have this ass in the White House," Enj stated with venom in his voice.

"Honestly! He's probably the worst president we've ever seen. I thought daddy Bush was bad, but it looks like W is trying to show off or something," Grantaire shot back. In one sentence, Grantaire had gone from what looked like some bum to someone with fire and passion in those blue eyes. Enjolras was impressed.

"Right? Turning our country's biggest tragedy into a war for oil? THE worst." Enj was happy he could talk to someone about this. What a banner day.

"I didn't know you were political, too, Enj. This is great! I'm so happy I found you," Courf said gushingly.

"I've been trying to find some people at school to help me start a group where we talk about the important issues. Nothing too huge, but maybe one day if we get enough people, we can make a difference," Grantaire said hopefully.

"When you're ready, I'm in," Enj said, beaming with newfound confidence. Maybe he wasn't so shy after all. Maybe he just needed the right push.

  
  


10 years ago:

Enjolras was so excited for tomorrow. He and Grantaire were going to have their first rally on campus for climate change. He sat alone in his dorm room, typing on his laptop he set up on his bed and waiting for Courf to get back from his date with Combeferre.  _ I hope he doesn't give me too many details again _ , Enj thought. He was finally getting to be in a good place again. This was the first rally he felt he was ready for since his grandmother passed. His friends had been so supportive, especially Grantaire. After high school, the two of them had remained friends, but Grantaire had pulled back a little for awhile, which had put a stop to most of their political aspirations and a slight hold on their friendship. They hadn't spoken for months, but when he had found out Enj's grandmother died, he called right away. 

Grantaire didn't explain much about what happened, but Courf had theories it had to do with his parents again. Towards the end of his senior year, Grantaire wouldn't show up to school for days. It got around their group through Eponine, a mutual friend of theirs, that Grantaire's parents were alcoholics and not always the nicest. Everyone wanted to help, but Grantaire's secrecy made it hard. Before that, Enj and he were inseparable, or as close as you can be with someone who hides so much about their life. At the height of things, Enj would ask Grantaire to stay over so they could continue their work into the late hours, sometimes never sleeping and sometimes passing out from exhaustion next to each other on the couch. Enjolras's grandmother was always so kind and understanding to Grantaire, treating him like family. Grantaire never offered a family history, so Enj respected his privacy and didn't ask. He would tell him when he was ready. Now after several life events getting in both of their ways, it seemed like it was finally time for them to work toward the goals they both shared.

Courf came home almost gliding.  _ Oh boy, _ Enj thought. "How did it go?" He asked teasingly.

"Perfect as always," Courf said as he dramatically fainted beside Enj on the bed. Courf and Combeferre had been dating since the end of senior year. Despite the differences in their personalities, they really were great together. “He’s just...perfect, you know? And not bad in bed either.”

"Ok, ok,” Enj laughed. “I hate to ruin the mood, but please remember we have an early start tomorrow," Enj said as he booped him on the nose.

"I know, I know," Courf said as he sat up. "Aren't you going to sleep?"

"I will. I'm just finishing up my speech," Enj answered as he was typing. "You excited?"

"Of course. This is a big one for us. The whole gang is back together. Even  _ Grantaire _ ," Courf said that last part with a tone in his voice that Enj didn't understand.

"Yeah, it's really great to work with him again. He always had some awesome ideas." It was true. When Grantaire was on, he was on. Enjolras always admired his ideas. He always came up with a way to approach things that Enj could never think of.

"Uh huh," Courf agreed, rolling his eyes. He jumped up and off Enj's bed and fell onto his own. "Night night," he said sleepily. "Please actually sleep this time."

"I will try, but no promises," Enj said as he typed away. He had a really good feeling about tomorrow.

5 years ago:

Enjolras could not believe the gall, the absolute gall of Grantaire right now. Here he was, pitching this incredibly complicated idea of running and starting a cafe, when he couldn't even manage attendance 100% of the time. To be honest, it was a great idea and Enjolras was a little jealous he hadn't thought of it. But, it was a little hard to get behind a big idea coming from Grantaire at this moment in their history. Enj knew something had been going on in Grantaire's personal life and he wanted to be supportive, but how could he when Grantaire wouldn’t let him in? He had a very bad feeling that if Grantaire gave himself too much responsibility again, he might not be able to handle it and break down. What was worse, during these breakdowns he would shut out anyone and everyone who cared for him. As Grantaire stood across the room in smirking defiance, part of Enjolras really wanted to let him win. He wanted the old Grantaire who wouldn't sleep until the work was done back. The one who went out of his way to help everyone but himself. That Grantaire could've suggested anything to Enjolras and he would've done it.

When they met, Enjolras thought he might fall in love with him. He was so fiery and passionate about the world and helping everyone else. He helped Enj get over his own shyness and helped him become the person he was today, for which he would be forever grateful. But that young boy who had passion and drive had been crushed by some mysterious force and had become a broken man. You can't fall in love with someone unknowable, someone who pushes you away, someone who had no beliefs anymore. Grantaire spent a good portion of their meetings arguing with Enj on almost every point, being cynical and defeatist. Grantaire had stopped trying to change the world and started to believe there was nothing anyone could do to improve anything anymore. This world had broken Grantaire’s spirit.

This Grantaire before him tonight was maybe the last shred of that boy he once knew, fired up and talking about plans for the community again. Something was sparking hope in him.  _ Maybe if I just give him a chance, he’ll wake up again. _ Enjolras conceded for the greater good of their group, knowing everything might fall on his shoulders again. He was extremely skeptical, but maybe it would work out.

As they left the meeting, some car approached Grantaire and the man inside was shouting terribly rude things at him. He could see that Grantaire was extremely distressed by what was going on. Enj's defensive instinct kicked in.

"Good evening, sir, can I help you with something?" he asked the man in the car.

"Uh yeah, are you my son's pimp?" the figure screamed out the window. Enj had no idea what he was implying, but it finally clicked. This was R's father, and he was obviously here to hurt him in one way or another. Enj had to stop him.

"Sir, you are clearly intoxicated and if you do not leave, I will call the authorities on you." Enjolras did not have time for games. He reached in his pocket for his phone. At that moment he wanted to bludgeon this man, but thought it was more productive to try and scare him off.

"Whatever, keep my fucking failure of a son. He's not worth the jail time!" he shouted as he sped off.  _ Thank god. _ Enj turned around to look for Grantaire. He needed to make sure he was ok. Was this what Grantaire was running from all this time? It took him a second to realize Courf was helping R into his car. He gave Courf a look of concern, but Courf signaled to him that he had R and would call Enj later. Enj felt useless that he couldn't help his friend.

  
  


1 month ago:

Enjolras was in no mood to entertain Grantaire tonight. He looked sober, but Enj could never be sure. Over the past few years, Grantaire would show up to meetings in various states of intoxication with what seemed like a sole purpose to argue with Enjolras. There was no way Enjolras could let him anywhere near a building inspector when he couldn't even stop him from embarrassing himself at meetings. Alcohol had killed the Grantaire he once knew. This man standing before him was smiling and making promises, but Enj's trust was shattered. Not to mention the fact that all of his responsibilities had fallen on Enj's shoulders, which came at a cost to Enj’s own mental wellbeing. There was no way he was going to let Grantaire swoop in the last second and claim a victory for himself. Enjolras had too much anger to let that happen. That anger was eating him up inside. When Grantaire asked the question, he refused to budge out of spite for the shell of a man that stole his best friend. He hated him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the last chapter was a little rough. I promise this one is more lighthearted. The chapter after this will be even better.

It was Monday. Enjolras had been letting the stress about today sit in his gut and eat away at him all weekend. He didn’t know what to expect from either of the people he was supposed to see today. He had slept in a little and it was already 9:30 am. That wasn’t so bad considering he went to bed after 5 am. He was up all night stressing and trying to go over logistics for the fundraiser. Everything was set, he just needed to stress over it. 

He looked at his phone to see that it was dead.  _ FUCK.  _ It was plugged in, but why didn’t it charge? Upon further examination of the cord, he realized it had been chewed through.  _ That dumb cat,  _ he thought. He got one of the extra cords out of the top drawer of his bedside table and plugged the phone in to charge. He bought extra because this was a habit at this point. Sitting all curled up at the end of his bed was an orange tabby with a red collar. She looked up at him as he had gotten up to look for a new cord.

“Catria, while I appreciate your continuing dedication to ‘taking a bite out of capitalism’, could you please find a different way of expressing yourself?” he half joked, half scolded the tabby, but never raised his voice. At hearing her name, Catria got up and sauntered over to Enj to receive her morning praise and adulation. Enjolras obliged. 

“I have to get ready soon,” he explained to the cat, who not only didn’t care what he had to say, but flopped over onto her back for even more love. Enj sighed and pet her for just a few more minutes before starting their morning routine. They went into the kitchen of Enj’s one bedroom apartment. He gave her her morning meal, grabbed an apple, ate it hurriedly and went to get ready. He showered and shaved, brushed his teeth, then went to his closet to pick out an outfit. It had to be semi-professional looking, since this was a business-like meeting. He still had lots of nice outfits from when he used to work full time. He settled on black dress pants, a red button up, and a black blazer.

Enjolras had many careers he would have been suited for, but he became a teacher. He had thought,  _ What a better way to inspire revolution in young minds than to teach them?  _ Enjolras had been inspired to pursue this career by his history teacher, Professor Lamarque. Lamarque would try to teach his students history as it truly happened, giving more credit to the minority groups that actually built America than what the textbooks would say. He would explain how racism, classism, and homophobia had tainted history and left us with nothing more than American mythology that only centered on white, straight, rich men. How the government had tricked poorer classes into fighting among themselves so that they wouldn’t see the real enemy. How by erasing key information, they could push a narrative that demonized people of color and could use that developed racism to justify oppression. He never pulled any punches. This did not make him popular with the school board or the parents, but his students adored him, including Enj. Enj, as a young gay man, needed a teacher like that. His friends, in the case of Bossuet, who was Black, Joly, who was Chinese, and Courf, who was Mexican, needed a teacher like that as well. While Lamarque himself was white, having a teacher who understood and fought for minorities was invaluable.  _ If we have more people willing to teach the truth, we would be so much better off,  _ Enj thought. So he and Courf became teachers. Courf became a kindergarten teacher and Enj taught middle school history up until the end of the last school year. As things with the cafe ramped up, he decided to quit teaching full time and become a substitute so he could run the cafe until they could get some employees. He saw no other alternative since everyone else was very set in their careers except for Jehan, who would be helping out in the evenings. That is why today had to go well. He had sacrificed too much for this to all fall apart at the last minute. 

It was time. He got in his car and drove to Grantaire’s house. He stopped to pick up some coffee on the way, an iced Americano for himself and an iced cappuccino for Grantaire. He pulled up to the house and put his forehead to the steering wheel.  _ Please be ready to go. Please be dressed appropriately.  _ He was just about to get his phone out and text when he saw movement from R’s front door. 

R locked the door and headed to the car with a folder in his hand. He was wearing a white collared shirt under a green sweater so just the collar was showing and black jeans, no holes or anything. He appeared clean, a bit of scruff on his chin. His curly, dark hair looked washed and combed.  _ Oh, thank the gods, _ Enj thought as R opened the door. 

“Here it is,” he said proudly as he was sliding into the passenger seat. He handed Enj the folder he was carrying. 

“What’s this?” Enj asked.

“The final draft of the flyer with all the adjustments you asked for,” Grantaire explained. “Told you I could have it ready for today.” They had been texting each other back and forth all weekend about the flyers for the fundraiser. Grantaire would send him a draft, Enj would critique and ask for a change here or there. There must have been seven or eight drafts by this point. Enj was shocked R had been so understanding and accommodating. He was afraid that every time he texted back, that would be the final straw and Grantaire would tell him to fuck off. He hadn’t though, and Enj found the whole experience almost pleasant, like the old days. 

Enj hesitantly opened the folder and looked inside. Printed on white paper was a logo of a coffee cup with the words “ABC Cafe” written in italicized Didot font at the top. Grantaire had pitched that font to him specifically because of its ties to “La Henriade” by Voltaire, an idea that Enjolras loved almost as much as he loved French culture. Under the logo, in the small font, but unitalicized, it read “Come be a friend of the ABC Cafe”. Underneath that was a write up of the details of the when and where. At the very bottom, smaller and italicized it read “Friendship is the union of souls.” 

“This is amazing, R. Thank you.” Enj was very impressed. He was also extremely relieved he could check that off his list.

“No problem. You inspired me to do a little research on French history because you’re always talking about those old philosophers," Grantaire said, blushing. He was happy and felt that he had finally done things right. 

“It’s great. Oh, I got you an iced capp before I forget,” Enj said, gesturing to the cup holder between them as he put the folder in the backseat.  _ This is going ok so far, _ he thought.

“Thanks,” R said as he excitedly grabbed the cup. 

“Now, I want to go over this with you,” Enj started.

“Here we go,” Grantaire said, rolling his eyes. Enj glared at him.

“Anyway, this guy has been pretty tough so far so I want you to try and keep a cool head and let me handle the talking,” Enj explained.

“Yes Sir!” Grantaire said, give a fake salute with one hand while buckling his seatbelt with the other.

“Please?” Enj pleaded as he started to drive. “I know I’m nagging, but this is important. One wrong move and this whole thing goes out the window.”

“I know, Enj. I promise to ‘behave’,” R answered. “Music or you want to talk about stuff some more?” he asked as he pointed to the radio. He wanted to talk to Enj, but he was hoping he wasn’t going to be lectured.

“It’s not that long of a drive, but yeah, you can turn on the radio I guess,” Enj answered, hoping if he appeased R on the way there, R wouldn’t cause a scene. His friend’s true passion in life seemed to be arguing, and that is something he didn’t need.

Grantaire turned on the radio. The first preset was NPR.  _ Not surprised, _ R thought. The rest of the stations were the ones that came with every car.

"You never set your presets?" R asked.

"No, I usually plug in my phone and listen to Spotify if I'm not listening to the news," Enj answered. Grantaire dialed around for a song he was ok with and they sat quietly for the rest of the ride. Enj was too nervous to speak and R was, too.

They pulled into the plaza and there it was. Truthfully Grantaire had never seen the place before, but he was very happy with what they picked out. It looked like an old, out of business diner. From the outside, through the windows you could see an old counter and some stools. The building also appeared to have an upper floor, perhaps an old banquet hall. There were no signs yet to say what it was. Stepping out of the car, Grantaire finally got a good look at the place. He was so proud of what his friends had accomplished, but so upset with himself that he hadn't been more a part of it. 

They stood admiring the place for quite awhile. Enj looked at the clock on his phone and Grantaire checked his watch he wore on his right wrist. Both of the time pieces said the inspector was over 40 minutes late.

"This is what I was talking about," Enj said, exasperated.

"He just doesn't show up or shows up so late? That's unprofessional." Grantaire could see Enj was getting frustrated. Just then a blue pickup truck pulled up. Out of it stepped an intimidating looking man with a scowl on his face and a clipboard in his hand.

"Let's go in," the man said coldly, without even a word to greet them. "Who is this?" he asked, pointing to Grantaire once he realized he was coming in also.

"This is Grantaire, a business associate of mine. Grantaire, this is the building inspector, Javert," Enjolras introduced the two. Grantaire's heart did a little jump.  _ I'm a 'business associate',  _ he thought proudly. The inspector nodded. He marched right over to the two bathrooms, both single seaters. He walked in and walked back out in less than a minute.

"You still have a sewage back up, I guess you boys need more reliable plumbers," Javert said as he started to write on his clipboard.

"Backed up? I thought you said there was a leak in the wall?" Grantaire asked anyone who would answer. Enj tried to shush him.

"That's what I meant. It's so backed up, there's is a leak in the wall," Javert snapped back quickly, giving Grantaire a death glare.  _ Only Enjolras looks at me that way,  _ R thought. 

"Then what plumber do you recommend, sir? Since you've been in this business for years, you must have a good connection," Enjolras said, still trying to save face. 

"I don't give recommendations. That's not my job. If you don't get this taken care of, I will not allow you to open," Javert said forcefully. Enjolras was flustered beyond belief.

"Where in the wall is the leak?" Grantaire asked. Enjolras became worried.

"Right behind the wall in your 'Men's Room',"Javert answered, annoyed. Grantaire walked past the inspector and Enjolras, whose concern was growing. Grantaire came out a minute later with a smirk on his face.  _ Oh good god, what have I done, _ thought Enjolras.

"If there is a leak in the wall, where is the water damage?" Grantaire asked cheekily.

"Excuse me?" Javert was clearly not a person you asked cheeky questions to.

"The leak? If it's in the wall and it's so bad you could notice it, where is the water damage?" Grantaire asked Javert.

"Are you  _ questioning _ my ability to do my job?" Javert answered, growing angry.

"What he means is we should know so we can fix it," Enj jumped in to try and save this.

"What I mean is, I have lived in some shitty apartments and I do mean shitty because there was a sewage back up and it stank to high heaven, and one of the walls had to be rebuilt because of the rot. In the absence of a stench or any water spot, my question is how did you know there was a problem?" Grantaire asked, still smirking. 

_ FUCK FUCK FUCK,  _ thought Enjolras.

"I have been a building inspector for 20 years now. I know what I'm talking about," Javert said, getting even angrier.

"I'm not doubting your experience, I'm doubting your inspection," Grantaire challenged, walking closer to Javert.

"If you have a problem, 'Sir', perhaps you should discuss this with your 'associate'.” Javert stepped closer to Grantaire. Enjolras tugged Grantaire on the arm and pulled him over to the side.

"What the hell are you doing?" Enj asked angrily.

"Enj, he's lying to us. He's just fucking with us to waste our time. He's never going to pass us. He doesn't want us to open," Grantaire tried to explain to his friend even though he could see in Enjolras's eyes that he already knew all of that. Enjolras had fought so hard for him and his dream, even to the point of putting up with this abuse.

"So, what do we do?" Enj asked, defeated.

"We've got to stall and find a way to either report him or go over his head," R explained.

"We don't have any proof that he’s lying to us. He can find a way to turn it back around on us and then we'll lose the cafe," Enj said, looking at his feet. Grantaire just realized how tired Enj must be. Even the strongest fighters run out of stamina if they are backed into a corner.

"Look at me," Grantaire said, as he grabbed Enjolras's shoulder. Enj looked up at him. Grantaire continued, "You've done all this work by yourself. Let me help. I've got this now." Grantaire walked away from Enjolras and to Javert.

"Sir, my associate has informed me that he knows one more plumber we can talk to that is  _ extremely  _ reliable and he assured me that we will have this all sorted out by week's end if you would be so generous with your time to come back for one final inspection," Grantaire asked in the most even keeled voice he could manage. Enjolras stood in the corner shocked and amazed.

"I'm getting very upset that you and your  _ associate  _ are wasting my time," Javert answered.

"We apologize profusely, good sir. Please, allow us one more chance." Grantaire bowed his head as if asking for mercy.

"Fine. You have until Friday at noon. I will be back and if I can't pass you, I'm shutting you down," Javert said with a smug smile, perhaps believing he had won this. Javert turned and walked out of the building leaving Grantaire and Enjolras alone together.

"R that was incredible," Enj praised without any sarcasm in his voice.  _ He really pulled it out _ , Enj thought.

"I've been in bad situations with landlords and…other people before and sometimes you have to do whatever it takes to buy yourself enough time to get out so you can fight another day," Grantaire said in a matter of fact way. Enjolras was truly impressed. Perhaps the old R  _ was _ back?

"Alright, Mr. Big Shot," Enj said with a smile, "what's your next move?"

"We call a meeting, of course," Grantaire said, smiling back.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ;-) this one is for the fans lol

All the Amis met at the library for their normal Tuesday night meeting. It was extra crowded in their little room in the back of the library, because Enjolras asked all of their members, including the honorary ones, to attend. Eponine and Marius had been known to attend sporadically, but Enj felt they needed all hands on deck for this meeting. Marius decided that his new girlfriend, Cosette, who had also been at Courf's birthday party, might enjoy seeing what he and his friends went on about. When Eponine saw that he had brought her, she decided to try and sit as far away from him as possible, which wasn't easy given the size of the room.

"Ok, everyone, as I briefly mentioned in the text we have a lot to discuss, so let's get started," Enj said, calling attention to himself as he stood in front of them. 

"Do you want the minutes from the last meeting?" Combeferre asked.

"No, we need to jump right in," Enj answered kindly while giving a nod of acknowledgment to the group's secretary. "Before I forget though, even though we were all there, congratulations are in order to Combeferre and Courfeyrac on getting engaged," Enj said with a smile. A few people "woo"ed and everyone started clapping. Combeferre smiled, but blushed and Courfeyrac stood up and took a bow then proceeded to show off his ring. When things died down, Enjolras continued, "This is why we need our own space. We are always too loud as a group. Sorry Ferre. But this brings me to our agenda. I have spoken with the building inspector and…" At this point, a voice at the back of the room cleared their throat. It was Grantaire. Enj rolled his eyes.

"Grantaire and I," Enj continued again, looking at Grantaire who had a huge smirk on his face, "spoke with the building inspector, Javert, and he insists there is still an issue with the plumbing." Enj's statement was met with loud groans. 

"What's wrong now?" asked Bossuet.

"It is the same issue, or maybe not. Now he said something about the sewer," Enj answered frustratedly. At this Grantaire stood up.

"Sewers, sewers, sewers. This guy went on for what seemed like forever about it," Grantaire said as all the eyes in the room turned to the back to look at him.

"That's a bit of an exaggeration," Enj retorted. Grantaire continued anyway.

"Telling us about a leak in the wall, telling us about this and that. But he is a liar. There was no signature sewage stench. There were no water spots or rot. You'd think he'd know what he was talking about, considering he looked like he crawled out of one," Grantaire finished as the room filled with stifled laughs. Enjolras didn't laugh. This situation was very serious to him and he wasn't sure what Grantaire's angle was.

"Yes, as I was saying. So we need to come up with a solution or another plumber who is willing to meet us there or…" Enj started. He was interrupted again.

"Enj, you know he was lying. No amount of plumbers will be able to help," Grantaire said as he threw his arms out wide.

"That is why if we have a plumber with us at the time of inspection I'm sure -" Enjolras said as he slapped the back of his right hand into his left palm.

"Enj, he is corrupt. You know that won't work. He  _ wants _ to shut us down," Grantaire said as he wildly gestured to everyone in the room.

"Then what do you suggest, Grantaire?" Enj asked with a sigh. "We are in over our heads. We have to find a way to work with him." Enj took his thumb and index finger and started to rub his forehead in frustration.

"We go over  _ his _ head," Grantaire said, turning to Marius. "Marius, aren't you a lawyer or something? What can we do?" 

"Well, um, Grantaire," Marius started, caught off guard, "I'm not that kind of lawyer. I'm an estate lawyer." 

Grantaire shot daggers at him with his eyes as if to say, "then why did we invite you?”

"Does he have a supervisor? Someone in charge of his department?" Eponine asked, trying to relieve some of the tension between Grantaire and her former crush. 

"He works for the city. He is the head inspector, Ep. That's why this is so upsetting," Enj explained. Living in a tiny town had its disadvantages. There was usually only one person to talk to if you needed something. The small government in their town had proven to be unhelpful in the past. Once someone decided they didn't like you or your ideas, it was harder to fight.

"An elected official? A committee member? Any one?" Feuilly jumped in.

"That's a good idea. We know anyone?" asked Joly.

"Someone on the school board goes to the gym I work at, but I don't think that will help," offered Bahorel.

"I had a contact in the parks department. Maybe he knows someone?" Jehan suggested.

"I can talk to the Mayor," said a tiny, squeaky voice no one remembered hearing before. The room fell silent.

"What?" asked Enj, looking around to see who said that.

"I can talk to the Mayor," the voice repeated. It was Cosette. She was sitting with her hand raised and a big smile on her face.

"Of course," Marius said, hitting himself in the forehead. He forgot he never told anyone about Cosette's father.

"You can?" asked Enjolras, confused.

"Yes, he's my father," Cosette continued. Everyone in the room sat in shock.

"Mayor Fauchelevent? He's your father?" asked Enjolras, dumbfounded.

"Mmhmm," Cosette nodded happily.

"You're Cosette  _ FAUCHELEVENT?"  _ Combeferre asked exasperatedly, as he stood up and faced her. "And Marius, you  _ forgot  _ to mention this?" he added a little angrily.

"My bad?" Marius added with an embarrassed and confused shrug. Everyone groaned angrily, with the exception of Cosette, who was also confused.

"We are a  _ political _ group that does  _ political _ things and you didn't tell us you had a  _ political _ connection?" Courfeyrac asked, as he looked around his standing fiance to give Marius a death glare.

"I guess I didn't think about it?" Marius said, sinking back in his chair a little. He stepped in it this time.

"We could've gotten so much done if we knew we had a political ally. And on the opposite side of things, we talk big shit about politicians in here," Jehan said, indignantly. "When I told everyone here about the story I was working on about the factory workers who claimed they were assaulted while the mayor owned it, did you turn around and tell him about it? Is that why the story leaked?" Jehan asked, pointing their finger at Marius.

"No, I swear," Marius promised as he put his hand over his heart. "I just learned this myself when I met him last month."

"YOU'VE KNOWN FOR A MONTH?" Courfeyrac shouted. Everyone broke out into separate, angry conversations, completely forgetting about the noise rule. There were several things being said, but most of them were in agreement that Marius was an idiot.

"Ok everyone, let's settle down," Enjolras said, desperately trying to get control back of the meeting. Once they settled, Enjolras looked past Marius and spoke directly to Cosette. "Cosette, are you still willing to help us, despite how we treated your boyfriend just now?" he asked, giving dirty looks to the other Amis. They all looked down, embarrassed.

"Sure, I can talk to him. Even if he can't help politically, he gives great advice and I know he would love to help, especially since your project is trying to improve the city," Cosette said with a smile. The Amis all looked at each other guiltily. They didn't expect her to be so nice. "And, Jehan, is it?" she continued, kindly.

"Yes?" Jehan answered.

"I'm sorry about your story, but would it help if I got you an exclusive with him? The other journalist never asked my father any questions and I'm sure he'd love to clear his name," she asked.

"Thank you. That would be great," Jehan said looking sheepish. Now Jehan felt really bad.

"I'm sorry, everyone. Cosette and I have just been so busy spending time together. I completely forgot to mention her family," Marius tried to clear the air, as he grabbed Cosette's hand and looked at her lovingly. The Amis were still upset, but now they were mostly nauseated from such a display.

"Marius, next time please try to be more thoughtful about what we're doing here," Enjolras scolded. He was still upset, but he needed Cosette's assistance if she was willing to offer after publicly shaming her boyfriend. "Cosette, thank you for your help." None of what he said seemed to matter, as the two lovebirds were now staring intently into each other's eyes. That was for the best as Enjolras couldn't stop scowling at the two of them. She was sweet, but Marius was a mess. Grantaire picked up on Enj's mood.

"Enj, haven't you ever been in love? Can't you see they're made for each other?" Grantaire teased. Enjolras’s glare turned to him. 

"Thank you, Grantaire. That's so kind of you," Marius said, looking away from Cosette just long enough. This made Enjolras roll his eyes so hard he could see his brain. The rest of the Amis stifled laughs again.

"You're very welcome, Marius. We should all aspire to have a love like yours," Grantaire said with a smirk, staring directly at Enjolras, who now looked like he was contemplating murder. Everyone in the room tried to hold it together.

"Your friends are so  _ sweet _ ," Cosette said in baby talk as she booped Marius's nose. 

"A purer love was never witnessed," Grantaire said pointing at them. "Courfeyrac, I hope you and Ferre are able to be as in love as these two some day." 

That was the final straw. Everyone was laughing now. Even Enjolras had to try and hold back a smile.  _ Well played, R. You broke me,  _ Enj thought. Grantaire was pleased with himself. Enj needed to lighten up.

"Ok, back on track. If Cosette is able pull some strings, this might pan out and we can actually start work on the cafe. If not, we're back at square one," Enj stated, trying to remind everyone of the seriousness of the situation.

"I can go outside and call him. He probably hasn't left for home yet," Cosette said, suddenly popping out of her and Marius's bubble. She left and Enj called for a break until she came back. Everyone got up and walked around, having side conversations. Grantaire wasted no time and walked right up to Enj, who was flipping through some papers and looking serious. Grantaire leaned in, tapping Enj on the shoulder.

"Hey, it's going to work out. Don't worry," Grantaire tried to reassure him.

"What was that about?" Enjolras asked, still a little annoyed.

"What was what about?" R questioned.

"You. You're so hyper today. Are you on something again?" Enj asked, concerned. Grantaire rolled his eyes.

"No, I'm just excited. Things are moving along. And in my defense, did you see Marius?" Grantaire laughed.

"I get they were acting gross, but why mock them like that when we need their help?" Enjolras retorted.

"Just trying to lighten the mood. You looked like you were going to pop a blood vessel," he said, pointing to Enj's forehead teasingly. Enj swatted his hand away and tried not to smile.

"This is serious, R. Even if we do this, there is still so much to be done," Enj said, resuming his stressed disposition.

"I know, Enj. I just don't want you to give yourself an ulcer. We could actually do this. Please try and allow yourself to get excited about this," Grantaire, having hope for the first time in years.

"We will see." Enjolras didn't want to be hopeful, he wanted actual results. Just then Cosette ducked her head in and motioned for Enjolras to come outside, the phone still up to her ear. Enj rushed over and shut the door behind him. Grantaire mingled in with the crowd. Courf gave him a wink and some finger guns, to which Grantaire blushed. Everyone chatted about this and that, trying to keep the volume down even though they had been failing terribly.

When Enj and Cosette came back in, Enj motioned for everyone to take their seats. He showed no expression on his face as he began speaking. "Everyone, I have a meeting with the Mayor tomorrow morning," he said, breaking out into a huge smile. Everyone cheered. Enj allowed himself to feel just a little bit of hope.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wrapping things up here. Next chapter will be worth all this I hope

Enjolras pulled up to City Hall. He had been there a few times for permits and various business, but this time was different. The highest officials he had ever personally talked to had been committee and board members. He had never dreamed he would receive a personal invitation from the Mayor himself. He had dressed in his most professional looking business suit and made sure his hair was pulled back and neat, fussing with it in his rearview mirror.  _ He wants to talk to you. It will be fine. He just wants to talk,  _ Enj kept telling himself. He would have loved to have someone else with him as support, perhaps even Grantaire, but he had to do this alone.

He nervously got out of the car, adjusted his suit, and walked up the stairs towards the front door. Enj recalled there was an accessible entrance in the back.  _ Everyone is always so focused on the aesthetics of their older buildings that no one ever considers making accessibility a priority _ , Enj thought as he jogged up the stairs. This is part of the reason he liked the building they chose for the cafe. It was hard enough for LGBTQ+ individuals to find safe spaces to meet as it was. When you think about those that need accessibility, those options are cut to almost nonexistent. None of the Amis themselves currently needed accessibility options, but it was always on the forefront of their minds when they had ideas for their new space. This way, anyone who wanted to be there could. It had two accessible bathrooms that the Amis were going to make gender neutral. There was a second floor, but there was already an indoor ramp in lieu of stairs that Enj made sure passed inspection. The ADA inspector had been  _ much easier  _ to deal with than Mr. Javert, which led to his current predicament.

Enjolras showed the security guard at the door his ID, went through the scanner to make sure he was unarmed, was given a visitor's pass, and was escorted to the Mayor's office. He went down a long hallway with several historic looking paintings and photographs hanging on the wall. Mayor Fauchelevent’s office was behind large, wooden double doors at the end of it. The security guard knocked, opened the door and mumbled something inside, then gestured for Enj to enter.

The inside of the office was just as fancy as he had thought it would be. Paintings of past mayors and more local scenery, all on dark wooden walls. There was a fireplace that wasn't on, seeing as it was still summer. He scanned around the room to see the Mayor sitting at a great, oak desk. He motioned for Enjolras to sit in a chair in front of it. The Mayor himself, in contrast to his office, was wearing a simple, dark gray suit. He had white hair which was slicked back, a white beard that was well groomed, and kind eyes. Enjolras saw him smile, but he was still very nervous. 

"Good afternoon, Mr. Enjolras. My daughter, Cosette, spoke so highly of you on the phone when she arranged our meeting yesterday. It is a pleasure to meet you," he said, offering his hand to Enjolras to shake before he sat down. 

"Yes, Mr. Mayor. Thank you for agreeing to meet with me," Enj said, his voice shaking.  _ Get it together, Enj _ , he thought.

"She told me you have a social activist club that her dear Marius attends. That was great news to me. Marius hadn't told me this himself, as I think he was too modest," the Mayor said warmly.

"That's our Marius," Enj said, trying to act natural.  _ He didn't tell us about you either,  _ he thought.

"It makes me so happy to hear you young men decided to work for him. I love hearing stories about our citizens getting involved in community measures," Mayor Fauchelevent added jovially. 

_ We work for  _ him? _ I am going to pop him one _ , Enj thought to himself. "Yes, actually sir, we have people of many gender expressions in our group. We are inclusive of everyone," Enjolras corrected gently, letting the Marius comment slide for now.

"Ah, as the great Maya Angelou once said, 'In diversity there is beauty and there is strength'," the Mayor said with a smile. Enj was grateful that he had voted for him. "I heard that your group, The Amis, was it?" Enj nodded. The Mayor continued, "The Amis are trying to start a cafe that is also a center for the LGBTQ+ community to meet safely?"

"Yes, sir," Enj answered excitedly. He was always happy to hear acknowledgement from an elected official. 

"That's fantastic! But Cosette told me that you hit a snag with your plans?" Mayor Fauchelevent asked, concerned.

"Yes, sir. I'm not sure what you are able to do from your office, but we are having trouble with passing our final inspection. I never want to falsely accuse someone, sir, but it seems the inspector is coming up with excuses so that we can't open," Enjolras explained, nervous again.

"I see. What is holding everything up?" the Mayor asked, seeming upset.

"He continues to say we have plumbing issues, first a leak in the wall and then a sewage backup. A colleague of mine…" Enj stopped and corrected himself, "Marius's and mine, noticed there was no damage to the wall when you tap it, nor was there any sewage scent. It would have been nearly impossible for him to make this assessment on sight. We also brought in two separate plumbers and they both couldn't find anything. He has given us a final warning that if we don't fix it, he would not allow us to open."

"That sounds terrible. This man has no basis for his claims?" the Mayor questioned, looking angry now.

"No, sir. Not as far as I could tell," Enjolras answered.

"I want to look into this. Not as the Mayor, but as a concerned citizen myself. If he is discriminating against you, perhaps this has happened to others as well. I won't allow this to continue. What is his name?" Mayor Fauchelevent asked with authority.

"His name is Inspector Javert. I have his business card," Enj said as he grabbed the card from out of his wallet. He noticed the Mayor looked suddenly uncomfortable as he took the card.

" _ Javert? _ " the Mayor said in a tone Enjolras was unsure how to read. He was silent for a moment, then said suddenly, "I have some phone calls to make. Write down your phone number and I will be in touch. I'm sorry to cut this meeting short, but I remembered a pressing issue. We  _ will _ get to the bottom of this." The Mayor was now almost frantic. He gave Enjolras a small piece of paper and a pen to scribble his number on and wished him farewell. Enjolras hoped he hadn't done anything wrong. The security guard escorted him back to the door and just like that the meeting was over.

Later the next day, Enjolras's phone rang. He yanked it off the charger to see it was a number he hadn't programmed in before. "Hello?" he answered nervously.

"Mr. Enjolras, it's the Mayor. I have good news for you. My own personal plumber will be on site for your meeting with Mr. Javert tomorrow. He will make sure this is all handled. Do not worry. We strive to work for our citizens and your cause is very dear to my heart, especially since this means so much to my Cosette." Mayor Fauchelevent seemed confident.

"Yes, sir, Mr. Mayor, thank you so much for all your help," Enjolras said, trying not to sound like he was gushing. He and the Mayor exchanged a quick goodbye and hung up.  _ Holy fuck! _ Enj thought. He was so excited he had to tell someone. He texted the Amis group thread to let them know. Then he texted his thanks to Cosette. Then he realized he had taken Grantaire off the group thread when they fought a month and a half ago and hadn't added him back on. He texted Grantaire on the thread he had been texting him on over the past weekend and decided to add him back to the group.

On Friday, just before noon, Enj and Grantaire were waiting outside the cafe for the inspector.  _ He's a part of this now _ , Enj rationalized when he invited Grantaire back.  _ No, Grantaire  _ earned _ the right to be here,  _ Enjolras thought. He was extremely impressed with his friend who seemed sober since the birthday party and also seemed to be turning over a new leaf. 

The inspector pulled up and got out of his car, slamming the door. He walked smugly over to Enjolras who stood, waiting with his arms crossed. 

"Well,  _ gentlemen _ ?" Javert asked meanly.

"We're waiting for our plumber," Grantaire snapped back at him. Enj was getting nervous.

"I don't have all day," Javert said, annoyed. Just then a black car pulled up to the cafe. Out of the car stepped the Mayor himself. 

"Mr. Mayor?" Javert was taken aback and frankly so were Enj and Grantaire, whose jaw dropped open. 

"Before you say another word, Javert, I heard about what you were doing to these young…" he looked at Grantaire and considered what he had spoken with Enjolras about earlier in the week, opting for more neutral language, "these young citizens, and I am appalled," the Mayor said, walking straight up to Javert.

"These  _ citizens _ are in noncompliance with health and safety laws," Javert answered.

"That is why I am here. I had trouble with sewers myself before and I am here to take a look," the Mayor said as he rolled up his sleeves. Both he and Javert entered the building, the Mayor motioning for Enj and R to stay outside. The two were in there for quite awhile. Enjolras tried to look in the window for clues as to what was going on, but he couldn't see. Grantaire was speechless, something new for him.

After a while, Javert came out of the cafe alone and approached Enjolras.

"Here is your inspection report in full. You pass," he said with a sneer, shoving papers at Enjolras. He stomped to his car and sped away just as the Mayor was coming out of the building.

"Congratulations, Mr. Enjolras!” the Mayor said excitedly. “The Amis have a cafe!" 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Depression, mentions of past abuse

The next week sped by. On Tuesday, in lieu of a formal meeting, a celebration was held at Combeferre and Courfeyrac’s apartment so they could be as loud as they wanted and have food and drinks. Therefore, pizza was bought and drinks were shared responsibly. Combeferre offered a couch and a guest room bed to anyone who needed to spend the night. Grantaire abstained in favor of a Cherry Coke. He really wanted to give sobriety another try. Enjolras let loose a little and had one drink. Grantaire was happy to see him smiling. 

Everyone was excitedly talking about future plans and ideas for what the cafe should look like now that it was theirs. Some thought flashy, some thought more classic. They ended up settling on a "French cafe" based on Enjolras's love of French history. The fundraiser was at the end of the week, so they spoke about that briefly, then most of them dispersed because it was a work night. It was decided that Grantaire would be baking several types of cookies, including chocolate chip, butter cookies, and macarons, and some other bake sale standards, sheet cakes and some brownies. Enj checked with him several times to make sure Grantaire could handle the workload, to which he agreed he could every time. They weren't sure how many people would attend. Courf posted flyers around town and Bahorel made a Facebook event, which had about 500 maybes. A few of the Amis tweeted about it as well. They tried to plan as if a thousand people were coming, just to be prepared. They would be extremely busy, but it would all pay off.

It was the night before the fundraiser at about 10:30pm. Enjolras had texted everyone individually to make sure they were all prepared. So far, everyone texted back except Grantaire.  _ He must be busy, _ Enj thought.  _ If he doesn't get back to me in an hour, I'll call.  _ An hour passed with no response. Enjolras called his cell, no answer. He texted the group thread to see if anyone heard from him, all nos.  _ FUCK,  _ Enj thought,  _ I can't believe he's doing this! _ Enj grabbed his keys and drove to Grantaire's house. The lights were on inside so he knocked on the door.

"Grantaire, are you in there?" Enj asked as he knocked. No answer. He knocked two more times to no avail.  _ What the fuck is he doing? _ Enj thought angrily. In desperation, he tried the door knob. It was unlocked. He wasn't sure what to do for a second, but then decided to go in.  _ I came all this way, I've got to find out now,  _ Enj thought. He poked his head in and called out for Grantaire. No answer. He walked in. The house smelled sweet like there was some sort of baking going on.

"Grantaire! You in here?" he called one more time as he walked toward the kitchen. No answer again, but this time he could hear a faint noise. He turned into the archway that led to the kitchen, and what he saw had him taken aback. R's kitchen had a hardwood floor and black granite countertops. The cabinets were white with clear doors. There was a window over the sink with curtains with green pears on them. Enj quickly looked around the kitchen to see baking supplies everywhere, some cookies in several states of preparation all over the kitchen island that matched the counters, and sitting on the floor, with his knees up and his head buried was Grantaire. He was sobbing. 

"Grantaire, what's going on?" Enj's voice changed from anger to concern. R didn't answer. He ran over to Grantaire and dropped to his knees on the floor in front of him. 

"R, please? Are you ok?" he asked, now changing his voice from concerned to soothing.

"Itndnfnffm," Grantaire said, muffled from behind his arms and knees. 

"What?" Enj asked, touching his arm ever so slightly.

"It's broken," Grantaire said through sobs, lifting his head up just enough to see his blue, bloodshot eyes.

"What is, R?" Enj asked him.

"The oven. My oven broke. It stopped heating up," Grantaire sobbed as he ran his hands through his hair and dug his fingers in.

"Oh no," Enj said, suddenly realizing the situation. 

"I'm going to let everyone down again. I'm going to let  _ you  _ down again," R said exasperatedly.

"R, you're not letting me down. Things happen. We'll figure this out…" Enj said, attempting to calm his friend.

"It's just like the posters with my family, and not showing up to meetings, and missing deadlines, it never works out. I'm a failure. I failed you again." Grantaire unleashed years of pent up frustration. Enjolras, not knowing what the best course of action was in the moment, wrapped his arms around Grantaire and gave him a hug. Grantaire sank into the hug and wailed loudly.

"I'm so, so sorry, Enj," he sobbed into Enj's chest.

"R, it's ok. The past is the past. You're not a failure. Circumstances get in the way sometimes, but you're not a failure. I promise I'm not mad," Enj reassured, still holding him. He was so warm. He just wanted to take his friend's pain away.

"You're not?" Grantaire asked, looking up.

"No, R. It's not your fault. We do have to come up with a course of action though," Enj said as the two of them locked eyes. He just wanted R to stop being so upset, not just because they had work to do, but because seeing R like this broke his heart.

"Ok, I'm not sure what we can do though," R said, wiping his face with his arm. It was then he looked at Enj's red t-shirt, which was now covered in tears and snot, and laughed. Enj looked down and laughed, too.

"Ok, well how about we grab as many of your supplies as we can get together and we finish this at my place? I can change my shirt when I get there," Enj said. R smiled, got up off the floor, and dusted off his apron. It was then Enj noticed the apron's pattern. It was all beige, but had little strawberries on the pockets. It made Enj smile, as it reminded him of his grandmother's strawberry printed apron. He had saved it when she died and put it in storage as a reminder of her. Every once in a while, when he missed her, he dug it out and hugged it. What a strange coincidence that R's apron was similar. As Enj came out of his reverie, he noticed that R was almost packed and ready to go. They decided to leave the half baked cookies to clean up later and headed for Enj's apartment. 

As they got in the door, Catria was there to greet them, loudly meowing. "Back up, you silly cat. We're coming through," Enj said, gently guiding her out of the way with the side of his foot as he and Grantaire came in with boxes in hand. They put the boxes down on Enjolras's small table. Catria rubbed her face on Grantaire's flour covered jeans, to which Grantaire bent down to scratch her little, orange head. 

"Well, I guess you're both friends now," Enj said with his hands on his hips. He was a little embarrassed he didn't have time to clean up. He wasn't expecting company. Enj's apartment was small and as a consequence, had a small kitchen. There was only about 3ft of counter space and it was covered in papers and documents. Enj got to work clearing them as Grantaire looked around. He had never been in Enj's apartment before. It looked very "him.” 

There was the kitchen/dining room with a table and four chairs. In the same room was a small living area with a black pleather couch and matching armchair. There was a red, plaid blanket thrown over the couch, indicating the place was obviously lived in and perhaps some nights Enj didn't make it to bed. There was a glass top coffee table in the middle of the room, onto which Enj was frantically shuffling the papers from the kitchen. There was nothing on the wall, except a moderately sized TV over an entertainment cabinet that had a cable box and a Switch inside. In the corner was a cat bed and some toys. There was a small hallway that led to a bathroom and a bedroom, which Enj ran into to change his shirt. Grantaire thought the apartment looked cozy.

"Ok, sorry. So, the kitchen is clear now. What do we do?" Enj said, slightly out of breath. 

"Preheat the oven to 350°. We have a long night ahead of us," R said, with a smirk.

R shared his idea that food always cooks better if you're playing music. "What do you want to listen to? It will make the work go faster," R asked.

"I don't know. You pick," Enj said, nervously.

"No, I insist. It's your house, your music," R said, encouragingly. Enj picked up his phone. His music style had changed a lot since they met. It now spanned across several genres, but he was embarrassed to share his favorite with R, who he assumed was a musical elitist. What would he think of him? 

He scrolled nervously to his favorite playlist, which he called "Enj's Favorite Jams.” He was about to press play, when he looked up at Grantaire. R looked back at him and gestured for him to proceed. He closed his eyes and pushed the button. As he opened his eyes, the music started and he looked at Grantaire again. It was "Hot in Herre" by Nelly. Enj waited for R to laugh at him, but R just bobbed his head.

"Love this song," R said as he moved to the beat. 

"You do?!" Enj asked, confused. He checked to see if R was teasing him.

"Of course. It's a classic!" R said excitedly. "What else is on the playlist?" 

"It's mostly 00s R&B and hip hop," Enj explained, still waiting for R to say something.

"Cool. Great era," R said, unironically. R loved all types of music.

"You're seriously not going to laugh?" Enj asked.

"No. It wasn't what I expected, but it's cool," R answered.

"What did you expect?" Enj asked, not sure he wanted to know the answer.

"I don't know. Maybe the emo stuff we listen to in high school. Or some classical or something," R answered.

"Classical?" Enj said with a laugh. 

"Yeah, because you're so fancy," R laughed back. 

"Fancy? R, you see this apartment? Compared to that kitchen you have, I'm very plain," Enj stated. He was very impressed with R's kitchen, but not surprised now that he knew his passion for baking.

"It came with the house," R joked. He  _ had _ picked the house based on the kitchen. 

"Well it's gorgeous," Enj said and he meant it.

"We should get to work. We'll start with the things that take the longest and work our way down," R explained looking at the clock. It was already close to 1am. "We better get started. You have any baking experience?" R asked.

"Just a little...when I would bake with Mémé," Enj said, suddenly turning sad again.

"She was a great woman," R said, trying to comfort him. There was a pause. "Well, there's no use crying when 'Fergalicious' is on," R said trying to lighten the mood. The song had changed and that was what played next. Enj nodded and they got to work. Since macarons were time consuming, they decided to scale back. Grantaire had made one batch successfully at his house and that seemed like enough. The first recipe they started on was the chocolate chip cookies.

They worked out a system. R would add ingredients to a bowl, then had Enj mix them as R got the tray ready. He taught Enj how to roll the dough into balls and set them on the tray far enough apart. They made about 8 dozen at lightning speed. They made two 9×13 pans of fudge brownies and then made two more as those baked. Next they made two cakes, which had to be scaled back also, as Enj's oven wasn't as big. When they weren't working, they danced to Enj's playlist which really did have all the best songs of the era. Enj unsuccessfully attempted to Floss. To Enj's surprise, Grantaire flawlessly did The Renegade and The Shoot. He explained he and Bahorel practiced between reps at the gym after Courf and Jehan challenged them one day. Although he and Rel rose to the challenge, they conceded when they realized neither of them could do the dances in heels like Jehan could. To both of their surprise, Enj and R both remembered the Soulja Boy dance they used to do together in high school. 

It was almost 4:30am and they were getting punchy. Enj had made them a pot of coffee, but exhaustion was setting in. They had one last thing to do, the butter cookies. Grantaire made the dough as Enj packed away all the baked goods that were cool to prepare them for transport. 

"Enj, I need your help," R called him over. He didn't  _ need  _ his help, but he wanted it. R had rolled out the dough into two long sheets. He handed Enj a flower shaped cookie cutter with a hole in the middle. Enj smiled, but inside he didn't know what to feel. Such a small gesture reminded him of one of the best times of his life. Here he was with an old friend, exhausted and covered head to toe in flour. Grantaire smiled back. He turned and stamped the first flower. When the little circle popped up, he shoved it in his mouth.

"Breakfast?" R laughed, realizing Enj was still staring and that he seemed down. "You know, a great author once said, 'Melancholy is the happiness of being sad'," R said with a smile.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Enj laughed.

"Beats me, I didn't write it," Grantaire joked, "you just seemed sad. Thinking of Mémé again?" 

Enj nodded. "We used to make butter cookies together like this," Enj offered. R understood.

"It's a lot of fun when you bake with someone else. I've always wanted someone to help me while I'm baking. So thank you," R said with a smile. Enj smiled back at him again and they got back to work. 

They made 10 dozen butter cookies and it was after 6am. Enj and R were beyond exhausted. They both crashed into the couch and sank, excited with what they had accomplished. But something was on Enj's mind.

"R, can I ask you something?" Enj started.

"Sure, if I can stay awake," R answered.

"When your oven didn't work, why didn't you just call me?" Enj asked.

"I told you, I didn't want to disappoint you again," R said, closing his eyes.

"R, I know we’ve had our differences and I have been disappointed before, but you're not a failure, I meant it when I said that," Enj tried to convince him again.

"I just didn't want this to be another situation like the first time," R said, getting sad again.

"You just never explained what happened. I was more upset about that than I was the signs," Enj explained. 

"You wanna know?" R asked, suddenly sitting up.

"Well, yeah," Enj said, turning to him.

"My dad came home drunk and wrecked them. Absolutely destroyed them. He started to get even angrier and I had to get out fast. That's why there were no signs," R said, tears welling up in his eyes.

"R, why…, Enj started as he sat all the way up, "why didn't you tell anyone?"

"I was really fucking embarrassed, ok? My parents have been hellbent on ruining my life since I was born and I don't like to talk about it because it's really embarrassing," R said as tears streamed down his face.

"We were your friends R, you could tell us anything. Why take it on the chin like that and have us get mad at you?" Enj suddenly felt very badly about how angry he got.

"I was used to people being mad at me, but I didn't want people to feel sorry for me," R answered, putting his head against the couch as he looked down. He felt embarrassed all over again. He didn't like telling his secrets, they were sometimes his only friends.

"R...I don't know what to say," Enj said, leaning against the couch to mirror R. He put his hand to R's cheek. "Please talk to your friends when you need help. That's what we're here for," Enj tried to be reassuring. "I know you have a whole brain full of secrets and I hope you share them with someone someday. It doesn't have to be me, but please, let someone in if only to lighten the load a little," he said wiping R's tear away.

"I will try," R answered. He already felt lighter. He also couldn't get over Enj's hand on his face. And a hug earlier? His heart was beating so fast. He knew Enj was a touchy person. He and Courf and Ferre were always touching when they talked and hugging goodbye. But he and Enj had never been like that despite the fact that Grantaire had always been touchy, too. He had never been shy about putting his hand on Enj's arm or shoulder and he knew that they had to have hugged before when they were younger, when they were close, but this felt different. 

R's train of thought was interrupted when he noticed Enj was snoring, his left arm still extended and on his shoulder. R took Enj's arm and placed it by Enj's left leg gently. R smiled as he saw Enj's angelic face, sleeping in front of him. He took the red, plaid blanket that was over the side of the couch and placed it over Enj. Then he walked over to the armchair, put his feet up and went to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another flashback. Courf and R get drunk

7 Years Ago:

Grantaire was drunk. Actually, Grantaire was beyond drunk. He probably could have been considered drunk four drinks ago, but here he was. He had his arm draped around Courf, who was also drunk and munching on a mozzarella stick. A night out was Courf's idea after that evening's meeting had gone sour.

"Enjolras hates me," Grantaire blurted out suddenly.

"No, R, why do you think that?" Courf asked between bites.

"I don't know. I'm drunk," R said patting Courf on the head. Joly and Bossuet entered the bar and started walking over to their table, but upon seeing R in the state he was, decided on a different one. "You know, if he keeps this up, I won't go to his funeral," R muttered, sinking into the table. Courf checked him for a pulse briefly, mid chew. Once he was satisfied that R was in fact alive, he continued chewing. "You know, it was my idea to start the Amis right? I told you that?" R asked as he came back to life.

"I was there," Courf reminded him, realizing he finished his food and becoming a little sad.

"We started this together. In high school we were inseparable. He would ask me anything. He was new in town. I knew my way around…" R was ramping up for a spiel. Courf began to tune him out, staring at the empty basket in front of him. "I knew where to get the supplies. I knew where to get the best after-meeting pizza. I knew where to get the best specials on delivery. I knew where to get the best soup…" R continued. Courf started flipping the basket upside down with his fingers. "Enj used to love my ideas. We would stay up all night working on them, write out plans, figure out who to call. Then I take a sabbatical and suddenly he hates me," R said sadly. Courf's ears perked back up. He knew Enj didn't hate R and he didn't want R to feel that way. “I'm not an idiot, even if my father tells you that. Just because I didn't become an accountant like him, I'm an idiot?" R continued.

"You're not an idiot," Courf said as he squeezed R's cheeks in his hands.

"EnjdgkMsdhddhs," R said through squeezed cheeks.

"What?" Courf asked, releasing him.

"Enj doesn't like my ideas anymore. He flounces around the meetings, with his perfect, golden hair and his soft, pouty lips. Is he better than me? No. I taught him everything he knows. All he's good at is looking good," R ranted.

"You think he looks good?" Courf asked, laughing.

"Of course he looks good. He looks like a goddamn sculptor made him. Those cheekbones and those eyes and that smile and those hips…," R ranted some more.

"His hips?" Courf had never talked about the hips of any man he wasn't trying to sleep with. Suddenly, Court realized the suspicions he had were correct. "R do you  _ like _ Enjolras? Do you have a crush on him?" Courf asked, laughing. Grantaire suddenly tensed up, now aware of what he had said.

"Courf, no, it isn't what it looks like. I…" Grantaire was panicking. He couldn't let anyone know, especially not one of Enj's closest friends.  _ They even dormed together,  _ R thought, his mind racing.

"R...R...look at me. It's ok. I won't tell him," Courf said trying to reassure him. R was not reassured. He had spent his whole life hiding who he was from everyone, with the exception of Eponine. He especially didn't need it getting back to his family, whom he was already trying desperately to save up enough money to leave. "R," Courf continued, as he grabbed his friend on the shoulder, suddenly becoming very serious, "I swear, I won't tell anyone. Think of it this way, now you can talk to me about it," Courf said with a smile. He pulled R in for a hug. He felt his friend melt into him, possibly even crying. He knew about R's family and how they would react, but he also knew how all their friends would react. They'd love R for who he is and would love to see him happy with himself again. "If it makes you feel better, he does have golden hair and cute hips or whatever," Courf said, trying to cheer him up. He could feel R laughing against his chest. R sat up and was smiling, perhaps feeling better now that a damn was broken. He wiped a tear away.

"He's just so confident now. When we met him, he was so quiet and mousey. Now he won't shut up," R said with a laugh.

"Our baby grew up," Courf joked. "And frankly, you don't shut up either." They both laughed.

"That's why we fight all the time. Maybe it's all this  _ tension _ between us," R joked back. To that Courf didn't say anything. "He's just so annoyed with me all the time now," R lamented.

"To be fair, all you do at meetings lately is joke around and argue with him," Courf responded. "He's still a very serious guy. You make him mad when you laugh at him."

"He's cute when he's mad," R said with a smirk and a dreamy look in his eye.

"Jeez, I had a feeling you liked him, but I didn't know you were this bad," Courf said, poking him in the forehead. If Courf had theories about him, then who else?

"Do you think other people noticed?" R asked, hoping the answer was no. He really did not want this information getting around.

"Nooooo?" Courf answered, but not very confidently. Courf had always thought it seemed very obvious, but he never talked to anyone about it. Maybe no one else had picked up on R's subtle teasing and almost flirting with Enjolras.

"Good," R said, not picking up on Courf's uncertainty. Just then, Enj and Combeferre entered the bar. R saw them first because Courf's back was to the door. "Hey, Enjolras, you back for round two? Ready to debate me again?" he shouted across the bar at him as he gave Courf a wink. Enj and Ferre walked up to the table.

"Hey babe, can you buy me some mozzarella sticks? Courf pleaded with Combeferre, pouting and trying to get his own round two. 

Combeferre, being a very intelligent man, saw the empty food basket in front of his boyfriend and wanted to say no, but also being a man completely in love with his boyfriend, answered, "We can share," to which Courf did a happy dance.

"Grantaire, you're drunk. Please get a ride home," Enjolras answered annoyed.

"Don't worry about me," R answered with a smirk. "I'll just take a nap right here," he said as he propped his head up with his hand, looking dreamily at Enj.

"No, R. Please. I'll call you a cab," Enj answered curtly. After a long night of dealing with R, he was hoping for some peace and quiet, but he wanted R to get home safe.

"Enj, come on, have a drink with me. It'll be fun," R pleaded. He wasn't smiling anymore. In fact, he was hurt Enj was trying to send him away so soon after getting there.

"Grantaire, you spend all night arguing with me, laughing at my ideas, and telling me I'm too idealistic. How in the world would I ever be able to have fun with you?" Enj said in a tone of no longer just annoyance, but anger at constantly having their meetings derailed.

"You'll see," R said with a wink. Then he put his head down for a quick rest.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Some transphobic themes and mention of slurs(no actual slurs), physical violence
> 
> Some terrible math humor ahead

When Grantaire woke up, his chest felt heavy. He opened his eyes to see Catria, Enj's orange tabby, curled up in a ball just inches from his face. After a moment of confusion, he remembered. He had fallen asleep in Enj's armchair after a long night of baking. He didn't want to wake the cat, who was purring serenely, but his back hurt from sleeping in that position. His head also hurt, with the leftover stuffiness that happens after a night of crying. He was suddenly very embarrassed all over again. _Enj probably thinks I'm pathetic now,_ he thought. Just as if R’s thoughts summoned him, Enj walked into the room with a mug with flowers all over it.

"Oh good, you're up. We've gotta get going soon. Here," Enj said, as he simultaneously handed Grantaire the mug and picked up the cat. R sat up finally and took a sip. It was coffee with triple cream and triple sugar, Enj had remembered. He spun the cup around to see that it said "Damn, do I love retirement!” It must have been Enj's grandmother's. 

"How long did I sleep?" R asked, groggily. 

"Well, I don't know what time we fell asleep, but it's almost noon. Maybe 5 hours?" Enj said, matter-of-factly. He must have slept less than that, yet he was up and alert, a fact which both annoyed and impressed R. "I would offer you a shower and some clothes, but…" he trailed off as he raised his flat hand to his chin level. There was a bit of a height difference between the two of them. Enj's clothes would be rather long on him and in some areas a little tight, especially since Enj enjoyed wearing such fitted pants (not that R minded). R's legs were a bit more muscular than Enj's from working out all the time. He also had, what Courf had so affectionately called, a "bubble butt.” Rel had agreed and said it was from doing "mad squats.” Either way, he was not going to fit into Enj's pants. 

"You in there?" Enj asked, now sipping his own cup of coffee. His mug had a cat on it. R realized he must have spaced out for a second. _Now is not the time to think about pants,_ R thought.

"Yeah, do I have time to go home and grab some clothes before the fundraiser?" R answered. Enj nodded.

"If you snap out of it," Enj added, not unkindly. R realized that Enj was already showered, as his hair was down and still wet, and fully dressed. He wore black jeans and red hoodie. It was a little chilly that morning for late August. As R stood up, he realized that he had had the red, plaid blanket on _his_ legs now. He smiled a little and the two packed up the car with all the goodies and left.

When Grantaire walked in his front door, he was hit with the smell of rancid milk. He had forgotten that he left the place like this. There were mixing bowls filled with several different stages of baking prep still sitting out on the counter. R became very overwhelmed. He hated leaving a mess like this. Enjolras must have sensed his anxiety. He put his hand on R's shoulder and told him to take a shower. He made it a quick one and then tried to figure out what to wear. He decided layers were probably the best bet. Just because it was chilly now didn't mean it wouldn't be sweltering later. He decided on classic dark blue jeans, a green and white striped t-shirt, and a "The Used" hoodie that he'd had since high school. When he walked out into his living room, he could see Enj had cleaned up most of the kitchen and he was just walking back in the front door, having taken out the garbage. _How does he have the energy?_ R thought. Enj helped R pack up the few batches of macarons he managed to make before his oven broke and they were off again.

When Enj and R showed up at the fire hall, Jehan was standing with a clipboard and directing people where to go. _No one can stop me now,_ Jehan thought. But they were stopped as Enj walked up to them and asked how things were going. Jehan explained that Feuilly and Bahorel were unloading tables and setting them up. Courf was hanging up signs. Combeferre was waiting for the food delivery, as they were also selling pizza and drinks. Bossuet and Joly were outside setting up some games that people could buy tickets to play. Eponine and Gav were setting up the prize tent for said games. 

"Thank you, Jehan. You're doing excellent work," Enj said, smiling as he patted them on the shoulder. Jehan was wearing a hibiscus print, button down shirt, bright red pants and rhinestoned sunglasses. Their long, orange hair was braided into a side pony. _Why do they always look cooler than me? So much confidence,_ R thought as he walked to the trunk of Enj's car and started unloading. 

Everything was set up and it was finally time to start. A few familiar faces showed up first, mostly people Courf knew and who were at his birthday party. Courf was wearing a tight black t-shirt and purple pants that matched his ring, which he flaunted at _everyone_ as he managed the pizza table _._ Ferre, who was wearing khakis and a fitted blue polo shirt, rolled his eyes, but was so happy. He was on drinks, which were water bottles and soda. Gav had apparently invited every kid he ever met and their families. They took over the game section he and Epnonine were running. Joly and Bossuet were collecting money, until Bossuet tripped and scattered the pennies. After that he switched to tickets, leaving the money counting to Joly, who encouraged everyone to take a pump of hand sanitizer after their transactions. Feuilly and Bahorel were washing tables as people left. Jehan and Grantaire were working together at the baked goods table. Enj was greeting people at the door and mingling, answering questions anyone had, and doing other general hosting duties. Somewhere along the line, he had ditched the hoodie to look more professional and was now in his signature black blazer he always kept in his car over a red shirt. _He's so good at this,_ R thought. After about an hour, Marius and Cosette walked in. Enjolras was not amused.

"Marius you're an hour late," said Enj as he stomped over. 

"I'm sorry, we lost track of time, but I have something for you," Marius said, handing Enjolras a small envelope. Enj shoved it in his pocket and told them to circulate and relieve anyone who needed it. 

Grantaire was so excited when people bought his baked goods. It felt better than when someone commissioned art from him. This felt like he was sharing his soul with the world more than any painting. Everything was going smoothly until Jehan suddenly screamed, "YOU!" They ran out from behind the table and approached a man wearing a black business suit and his friends. He was smirking as Jehan approached.

"You're not allowed here, leave!" Jehan said angrily. 

"I gave money to your club to be here, Jehan. Do you have a problem with that?" he said with a sneer. 

"Yes, yes I do. You stole my big story about the mayor out front under me and now you have the nerve to show up here, Montparnasse?" Jehan was fuming. 

"Listen, I saw an opportunity for advancement, I couldn't help myself. We were having fun up until then," Montparnasse laughed. 

"Outside. Now!" Jehan said angrily, and they and the man’s friends walked out. Grantaire didn't like the look of this. He called Marius over to fill in for him and quickly followed.

When he got outside, Jehan was yelling about how embarrassed they were to ever know this Montparnasse, and continually called him a crook. R decided to watch from a distance to let Jehan handle it.

"I'm sorry, ok. It was a good story and I have bills to pay, too. No hard feelings?" Montparnasse asked, offering a handshake. Jehan ignored his hand. 

"You just used me, so yes, there are hard feelings," Jehan shouted back. R walked closer and he realized Montparnasse's friends were getting closer too. One of them called Jehan a slur, to which Montparnasse turned around and yelled at him. R was beside Jehan now.

"You need to keep better friends," Jehan said to Montparnasse. 

"Honestly, I'm sorry. He doesn't speak for me. What we have going on has nothing to do with him," Montparnasse tried to explain.

"You are the friends you keep. If you have one friend who says those kinds of things about people like me, then that's who you are, too," Jehan said, as they crossed their arms and started to walk away. The friend who called Jehan a slur then said, "Don't let _IT_ talk to you like that," as he ran toward Jehan. Grantaire responded fast, defending his friend by hitting that man in the face with a powerful left hook, which knocked the guy to the ground. Jehan was facing the other way and didn't see the scuffle immediately until they heard the * _thud*._ Turning around and realizing what happened, they looked at Grantaire, who was holding his fist, then at the man on the ground, then at Montparnasse. As the man was standing up, Jehan kneed him in the gut, causing him to double over again.

"Get the fuck out of here and don't come back," Jehan screamed at the two men as they and the rest of the group scattered, Montparnasse yelling apologizes as they ran.

Enj walked outside at that moment and saw Jehan staring off in the distance, blood on the ground and R holding his fist, which was now quite swollen. 

"What the fuck is going on?" Enj asked them both. R looked down. He was still pumping with adrenaline, but he was also sure Enj hated him again.

"R helped me take out some trash, Enj. He probably saved me from getting jumped," Jehan explained calmly at first. "I think they got blood on my outfit," they said as the shock finally wore off and they started to cry. Enjolras rushed over and embraced them. 

"R, ask Ferre for some ice and take a breather," Enj directed. He didn't know how to react to one friend punching someone and another friend almost getting assaulted other than to try and delegate.

Grantaire went to Ferre and explained what happened. He took a break to help and grabbed Joly to take a look at Grantaire's hand. Joly determined it wasn't broken, but helped wrap it with supplies from his medical bag. Enj and Jehan came back inside. Jehan insisted they go back to the baked good table. They were worried about Marius being in charge for so long. After R got fixed up, he joined Jehan. Both of them stood in silence for a while or only talked to customers. R knew enough about traumatic experiences to not push someone to talk. After the crowds died down a little, Jehan turned to R and simply said, "Thank you.” 

R nodded and said, "No problem. You probably didn't _need_ my help, but I wanted to," and the two of them were quiet again. 

After awhile, Jehan explained quietly, "I was going out with him for a minute. I think he might have really liked me. I just found out yesterday that one of the nights he stayed over, he stole the story I was working on, so I texted him that I never wanted to see him again.” They took a breath and continued, "I'm so embarrassed. I didn't know he would show up here.”

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about. When people do things like that, it is a reflection on them for being assholes, not on the person who trusted them," R said firmly. 

"You think Enj is mad at me for causing a scene?" Jehan asked, looking up. R could see tears forming in their green eyes. 

"Never. Enj is more worried about how you are, I don't even have to ask him. He cares about you. We all do. You're part of the reason I pitched this whole cafe idea in the first place. None of this would be happening if we didn't want to help you and people like you feel safe. We all love you, Jehan. Every part of you," R said, sincerely. Jehan was taken aback, but touched. "Besides, I know Enj when he's mad. It's apparently a personal hobby of mine to make him angry," R laughed, trying to lighten the mood. He didn't want to be too sappy and make Jehan uncomfortable. Jehan laughed.

"Thanks, R. You really are something," Jehan said as they gave Grantaire a hug.

The rest of the evening went along great and everyone was cleaning up. Almost all of R's baked goods sold, but thankfully there was still pizza left. Ferre and Joly were working on the final totals from their registers while everyone relaxed and grabbed a slice.

"Alright, everyone, gather around for the grand total," Ferre called everyone over. "Drumroll, please," he said. Everyone started drumming on their legs, the tables, their friends as Ferre got ready to call out the total. "The grand total after we take out everything we spent… and after serving almost 500 people, thanks to our amazing marketing work... and Gav inviting his whole class...is…" Ferre began.

"Wait!" Bossuet interrupted, "I found a penny!" Everyone laughed.

"Ok," Ferre continued, "The new grand total is… $2,460 and 1 penny!" Everyone cheered. That was a lot better than they thought they would do. Having Grantaire bake really cut the cost down and proved to be profitable. 

"Enjolras, did you open the envelope?" Cosette asked.

"No, I didn't. Should I?" Enj asked. He had gotten so wrapped up in what was going on that he had forgotten all about it. Cosette nodded. Enj opened the envelope and read the note out loud:

To the Amis, 

Thank you for making this town a better place.

Enclosed is a gift for you as you start your new business venture. Godspeed. 

Yours, 

Mayor Ultime Fauchelevent 

The Amis waited for Enjolras as he took the other slip of paper out of the envelope. He read it and put his right hand to his mouth. They waited with bated breath. "It's a check for $10,000!" Enj finally said as he came out of shock. Everyone was silent for a moment, followed by an uproar of cheers that were loud enough to wake the dead. They jumped up and danced. They screamed "thank yous" to Cosette, who assured them the money was a tax free gift. She personally explained it all to Jehan, who had yet to interview her father and was a little suspicious, that the money was from a savings account for her college fund and not taxpayer money.

"Ok, everyone, the _new_ new grand total is $12,460 and 1 penny!" Ferre announced over the din before kissing Courf excitedly, who was in his arms. Enj was standing quietly still attempting to grasp what happened when Bahorel picked him up and started swinging him excitedly, which broke him out of his stupor. Grantaire and Eponine were dancing in circles wildly. Everything finally seemed to be looking up, but now the work had just begun.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting up for a trope. I'm so sorry

Grantaire woke up on his couch. He realized he must have fallen asleep while icing his swollen left hand when he saw his ice pack on the floor. He also had a bit of a headache.  _ Probably because I've slept in weird positions the past two nights, _ he thought. He decided he better get ready. Eponine was picking him up to drive him to the cafe in a little while. All the Amis were meeting there to start working on making it their own. He grabbed an older pair of light blue jeans and some green shirt that he got from somewhere he couldn't remember and didn't care if it got paint and dirt on it. He had just finished getting ready when he saw Eponine pull up. He saved her the trouble of beeping and ran out. 

"You're ready on time?" Eponine said to him as he opened the door to her car and got in.

"Yeah. Turns out I can pull myself together sometimes," R said with a sarcastic smile.

"How's the hand?" Eponine asked, pointing to his recent injury.

"Still sore, but what can you do? This is why you wear gloves when you box," R said, making some punching gestures.

"How did Enj take it? You and Jehan's  _ incident? _ " Ponine asked, concerned.

"I don't know. I avoided him for the rest of the night," R said plainly.

"R, you can't be serious?" she said, shocked.

"For one, I wasn't sure how he'd react. For two, I felt his focus should be on making sure Jehan was ok since they were worried Enj hated them now." He paused, for a second, considering. "And third, I don't know if I can handle him hating me again. I think I finally got him to forgive me for things I did in the past and we were almost friends again," he said with a sigh. Eponine patted him on the knee with her right hand. 

"Talk to him. Aren't most of the problems you two have because you go into hiding anytime something serious happens? And yet you guys can spend hours in the middle of a meeting arguing about the littlest things?" Eponine said, both encouraging him and teasing him. "I get that you gave up on you two falling in love or whatever, but you still have to talk to each other." Grantaire blushed. He still had feelings for Enj and he knew nothing was ever going to happen. Enj would never see him as more than an annoyance.

"Says you who avoids Marius like he has fleas," Grantaire countered. If he had to feel awkward, so did she.

"That's different," she said defensively.

"How?" R questioned.

"Because…because it is," she said smugly. Grantaire rolled his eyes.

When they pulled up to the cafe, the Amis were already working. R and Eponine got out of the car and tried to see what everyone needed help with. The cafe had come with some older furniture that was a little broken or had seen better days. R walked in to find everyone clearing the chairs and tables out and piling them into the alley until they could figure out what to do with them. Grantaire watched what his friends were doing then decided to jump in. He took the last remaining chair and threw it on the pile.  _ There, I did it _ , he thought to himself proudly.

"I'm glad you decided to help," Enj said, commenting on Grantaire's lack of participation. R couldn't tell if he was mad or joking. He decided to try his odds.

"Oh, well you see, I just have this injury and all," R said, jokingly as he gripped his hand.  _ If he's scolding me, he can't be too mad. When he's mad, he ignores me,  _ R thought. Enj rolled his eyes and walked back inside. Grantaire thought he might have smiled. When he got back inside, the other Amis were rolling out tarps, putting out paint cans, and getting out the rolling brushes they bought. Combeferre was put in charge of lining the baseboards with painter's tape and gave the other roll to Joly to put tape around the door frames and windows. 

The cafe's first floor had had carpet when they bought it, but in the name of cleanliness and accessibility, they had it ripped out. Underneath the carpet was hardwood floors that would look beautiful after a little polish. The walls to the north and west were all tinted windows, bringing in lots of natural light. One of the improvements they intended to make was to give the windows new shades. On the south wall were two single seat bathrooms. They needed new signs to indicate they would both be gender neutral/family bathrooms. Enj had made sure that the doorways were wide enough and that the rooms were big enough for wheelchair access when the ADA inspector came. On the east side was a large wooden counter customers could sit at, the door to the kitchen area, and an archway that led to the ramp to the upstairs. 

Today's job was to paint the south and east walls a color they called at the paint store "rhubarb red.” Everyone who wasn't painting would be in the kitchen or bathrooms cleaning. Grantaire had called dibs on painting, not just because he didn't want to clean, but because painting really relaxed him. He propped open the door for ventilation. Courf plugged his phone into the speakers they bought to both test the sound system and so he could pick the music. He put on his "Pop and Bops" playlist, which was basically a current Top 40s list, but was heavy on Ariana Grande. The sound worked great and everyone got to work. 

Joly, Bossuet, Courf and Grantaire were painting. Eponine, Combeferre, Bahorel, and Feuilly were in the kitchen. Jehan and Enj had bathrooms since no one else wanted to do it. It was going smoothly until Bossuet almost fell off the ladder and had to be switched to either bathroom or kitchen duty. He chose bathrooms, much to Joly's chagrin. Enj and Jehan were already engrossed in conversation.

"So can you come with me? I'm nervous to go alone and you've been there before," Jehan was asking.

"Sure, Jehan. But I promise the mayor is nice. Although, I hope he doesn't try to talk you out of any part of your story," Enj answered.

"I do have questions about the sizable donation he gave us. I hope it's not a bribe," Jehan said, concerned.

"Cosette reassured me that her father donates to causes all the time... Jehan, about last night…" Enj started. Jehan sighed. They supposed this conversation had to happen sooner or later. 

"Yes?" Jehan asked.

"I just wanted to ask if you were doing ok. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," Enj said with concern in his voice.

"I heard R suckerpunched that guy!" Bossuet interjected. Jehan gave him a look as if to say "cut it out,” but Enj's attention was already piqued. Jehan had to save this.

"Yeah. That guy was going to jump me or worse. I'm used to being targeted when I'm out and usually I don't have someone as back up. It really meant a lot to me that R acted so fast. I wouldn't have seen it coming," Jehan explained, quietly.

"That was really cool of him," Enj said to Bossuet and Jehan's surprise.

"You think it was cool?" Jehan asked with shock in their voice.

"Well, yeah. He had your back. He didn't even question it. It was...noble of him. Not that you need defending or anything, Jehan…" Enj said, trying to recover.

"No Enj, it's cool. It doesn't hurt my pride at all that he stopped something from happening to me. That situation happens to me a lot. Sometimes I can defend myself and sometimes I can't. It's a reality I deal with," Jehan answered. 

"R's a nice guy. He's gone to bat for me before. He knew who to talk to for financial advice when my credit card got stolen. He's just someone who knows stuff," Bossuet explained. "I know he gets on your nerves sometimes, Enj, but as a friend, he's pretty great."

"I know he is. He just fell off the map a few times. I'm glad he's back now. I hope this means he's doing better," Enj said, with sincerity. 

"I'm surprised you aren't mad. I know you're usually very 'violence isn't the answer'," Jehan said.

"Out and out violence isn't the answer," Enj paused to refill his bucket. "But as Rosseau says, 'Every man has a right to risk his own life for the preservation of it.’ Self-defense or defending your friends isn't exactly violence.”

Meanwhile, out in the dining room, Grantaire was holding the paint open for Courf when he sneezed, covering both of them in red paint. Joly gagged. Courf laughed and ran to the kitchen to ask for some towels. 

"That is the third time you sneezed in the past half hour, R. Are you feeling ok?" Joly asked.

"Yeah, I’ve just got a headache and my nose is kinda stuffy. I thought it was because I slept weird," R answered.

"There is a cold going around. Make sure you are taking measures to keep yourself healthy," Joly said and then added, "Maybe you should go wash your hands."

"Aye aye, Dr. Joly," R said with a salute that just spread more paint around. Grantaire walked towards the bathroom to wash his hands. As he approached he heard Enjolras say, "out and out violence isn't the answer," and then the water turning on. He wasn't in the mood for a lecture, so he turned, sadly to the kitchen. Everyone in the kitchen was laughing as Courf was chasing Combeferre around, trying to give him a paint covered hug. Combeferre pretended to parry him with the mop he was using. Grantaire laughed and walked to the sink to wash his hands. The cold water felt good on his bruised knuckles. He was so upset that he made Enjolras mad again, but he knew what he did was right.  _ I can't believe he can't see I was only trying to help _ , R thought. His head started to hurt even more. 

"Hey, R, you ok, bro?" Bahorel asked, stopping his broom sword fight with Feuilly.

"Yeah, man, you don't look so good," Feuilly inserted.

"Yeah, I think I breathed in too many paint fumes," R said holding his head. Eponine walked through the crowd that had stopped to turn and look at R. She put the back of her hand to his forehead and it felt warm. Then, being the experienced group mom that she was, put her lips to his forehead.

"You're hot," Eponine said to him.

"Thank you," R answered, quietly.

"No, you bozo, I think you have a fever. Come on, I'm gonna take you home," she said grabbing his arm. They were almost to the door when she asked him to wait there. She ducked her head into the bathroom.

"Hey, Enj, me and R are taking off. He's not feeling so good," Eponine explained.

"Oh ok," Enj said, confused. "See you later I guess." He waved.

Eponine got R to the car and they headed for his house.

"He hates me again," R mumbled.

"What?" Eponine asked "Did you talk to him?"

"No, I overheard him lecturing Jehan. What an ass," R said, sleepily. 

"Oh, R. I'm sorry," Eponine said. They were quiet the rest of the ride. Eponine helped him into his house and into bed.

"Text me if you need anything. I would stay, but Azelma works tonight. I don't trust Gav as far as I can throw him," Eponine said apologetically.

"Don't throw Gavroche. He's my little buddy," R said, groggily.

"You know that's not what I meant," Eponine laughed.

"Stay golden, Pony Girl," R said as he laid his head on the pillow.

"Get some rest, you weirdo," Eponine said as she covered him with a blanket. Grantaire drifted off into a dizzy sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sick fic trope. I am so sorry

_ What the hell time is it? _ R wondered as he looked at his watch.  _ 5 in the morning? _ He rolled over in his bed to try and untangle himself from his blankets. As he sat up, his head pounded. He walked to the bathroom with one eye shut and dug through his medicine cabinet.  _ No Advil? Shit,  _ R thought as he came across an empty box and chastised himself for not restocking.  _ Guess I'll text Eponine. She said to text if I needed something _ . He stumbled back to his room to get his phone. His head felt like it was going to explode and the room was spinning. 

When he grabbed his phone, he could barely focus on the screen. He searched for the "E"s, selected text, and typed, "please bring advil cold and sinus. Ur the best.” The next thought that hit his mind was,  _ The Soup.  _ He walked sleepily to the kitchen to make himself some soup. He got his crockpot out from the bottom cabinets and threw in a piece of chicken, chicken stock, garlic, onion powder, salt, pepper. Even though he could barely stand, he knew what he was doing, as he had always had to take care of himself when he was sick. Making the soup was second nature to him. He grabbed some baby carrots and some celery he had in his crisper drawer, chopped them up and threw them in also. He turned the crockpot on low and figured once the medicine got here, he could nap and it would be ready when he woke up. 

He wandered over to his couch and cocooned himself in a blanket, suddenly noticing that he was freezing. He dozed off for a while, but was awoken by the sound of knocking at the door. He walked over to answer it, cocoon and all. Much to his surprise, when he opened the door, it was not Eponine, but a confused looking Enjolras. 

"What are you doing here?" R said, realizing just now how scratchy his voice sounded.

"You texted me to bring you some meds. Are you ok?" Enj said. He could see that R was disheveled and wrapped in a blanket.

"I thought I texted Pony," R answered, as he propped himself against the door. It was then that he realized what he had done. Eponine was listed as Pony in his phone, not Eponine. So the E he searched for was…. _ shit. _

"Oh, well I brought this for you anyway. You sure you're ok?" Enj asked, concerned. R looked like he could fall asleep standing up.

"Mmhmm," R mumbled, barely awake. Enj had only ever seen R like this when he was at meetings, drunk off his ass.

"You're just sick right? You're not drinking again?" Enj asked. R didn't answer. He looked really pale and he wouldn't have texted for medicine if he wasn't sick. Enj decided that his friend clearly needed help. "Come on, R, we'll get this medicine in you and send you to bed," Enj said, guiding R into his own living room. Enj had no idea where R's room was, but he assumed it had to be one of the rooms down the hallway. He led R to the first room on the left and saw it was a catch-all room with a desk and art projects started everywhere. The room across from it was a bathroom. That left one more door on the right side and that was it. 

R's room was the messiest room in the house. There were clothes in piles in the corner of the room and water bottles on his night stand. His bed had a black, iron frame and the sheets were emerald green. There were two windows with pale yellow curtains. Across from the bed, there was an old, worn out dresser and on top of it was a decent sized TV. Enj realized R didn't have a TV in his living room, only in here. 

Enj propped R up on his bed, got a pill out of the packaging, and handed him one of the water bottles. He noticed R's hands were clammy as he did the hand off. R took the pill down and said, "Thank you," in a raspy voice.

"You're welcome," Enj answered quietly as he guided R to lie down and put another blanket over him. Once R was resting, he seemed to fall asleep almost immediately. Enj wasn't sure what to do, as this situation was becoming even more awkward. He decided to go out and sit in the living room while he thought of what he should be doing. He checked the pocket of his hoodie for his phone. It was almost 8 a.m. Enj realized he hadn't eaten yet today. He hadn't expected any of this to be happening. He waited for about a half hour, then decided he should go for a bit.  _ I'll come back later to check on him. _ He went to R's room to tell him he was leaving. R was snoring loudly and didn't wake up.  _ He should be fine, right? He's sleeping now,  _ Enj thought. He decided to just go.

Enj got in his car and drove to a drive thru to get some coffee and a bagel. He decided to eat it in the parking lot.  _ I should text Eponine since that's who R meant to text,  _ he thought. 

_ Enj: Hey, Ep. Just wanted to let you know R is sick. He texted me by accident, so I brought him some medicine. _

He waited a few minutes while he sipped his black coffee and munched his everything bagel with butter. 

* _ Buzz buzz* _

_ Eponine: Thanks for handling that considering everything. Gav has a cold, too and I might not have been able to do that. Appreciate it. _

_ Considering what?  _ Enj thought and he texted her back just that.

_ Eponine: Considering you two are fighting re the fundraiser incident. _

Enjolras was thoroughly confused now, but simply sent back,  _ Not mad at him. It was no problem,  _ and finished his bagel.

_ Eponine: Can you check in on him later? He probably has his crock pot going and I don't want him to burn the house down. _

_ Crock pot _ ?  _ He was acting like he was on his deathbed. How could he have a crockpot going? _ Enj thought.  _ Whatever, today is weird enough _ .

_ No problem,  _ he messaged her again to which she replied,  _ ty _ . He decided he might as well go back. He wondered why Eponine had mentioned the fight. He and Grantaire hadn't even discussed what happened, so how could he possibly think he was mad at him? Was it because he rolled his eyes at him at the cafe? Was it because he  _ hadn't  _ talked to him? Enj realized that must be it. He had a feeling that R assumed he didn't talk to him about everything because he was pissed. In truth, it had just been a very busy day. Once R was awake enough, he would rectify the situation.  _ It's no big deal. Quick explanation and he'll understand it was a misunderstanding,  _ Enj told himself. He and R's friendship had been closer lately than it had been in a while. As far as he knew, R had been sober for a few weeks. He was re-engaging himself in group activities. Enj was proud of him.

Enj pulled up to the house again. He hadn't locked the door when he left, so he could get back in since he didn't have a key. "R, you awake?" he called out. No answer. He decided to see if Eponine was right and went into the kitchen. On the counter was a red crock pot and it was on.  _ Smells like soup _ , Enj thought. He realized then that that was kind of sad.  _ R had to make his own soup, because he has no one to make it for him,  _ Enj thought. He really pitied his friend. Someday he really wanted to know more about R's past, but he knew it was probably full of lots of sad stories.  _ Better check on him,  _ Enj thought as he walked to R's room.

R had rolled onto his side so he wasn't snoring as loudly anymore.  _ Maybe I should check for a fever _ ? Enj put the back of his hand to R's forehead. He was very warm. Enj decided he needed to cool him off. He went into R's bathroom to look for a wash cloth and possibly a thermometer. He found the thermometer first. Thankfully it was the swipe kind and not the stick in somewhere kind.  _ That would be an awkward conversation,  _ Enj laughed to himself.

He walked back to R's room and swiped his forehead. R didn't budge at all.  _ 102°F _ .  _ That's not terrible, but not good _ . Enj ran back to the bathroom and found some washcloths. He folded one and wet it with cold water. He laid it across R's forehead to cool him down.  _ I guess we wait now. _ Enj noticed a TV remote on the end table on the other side of the bed. He decided to sit down on the bed next to R and watch some TV.  _ This way, I can keep an eye on things. _

After a little while, Enj checked him again. He temp went down a half a degree.  _ Good, _ Enj thought. He refreshed the wash cloth with cold water and then went back to sitting next to R on the bed. After some time, R tried to rollover onto his left side. He ended up with his cheek and left arm on Enj's lap.  _ Fuck, what do I do now? _ Enj wondered, now that he was trapped under his feverish friend. He decided to let him be for a bit.  _ What harm could this cause, right?  _ Enj thought as he looked down at R's face that was smooshed against his leg. R had lost the wash cloth when he rolled. Enj brushed away R's wet hair to feel his forehead. It was getting cooler and he didn't look so pale. He let R lie in his lap for a while longer.  _ We used to sit close like this when we were younger. No big deal _ . And he went back to channel surfing. 

When R rolled back the other way, Enj got up to check the crock pot in the kitchen. It was soup, alright. Enj realized it was after 3pm now and he hadn't eaten more than a bagel all day. Maybe if he left for a bit again, he could grab a bite to eat. When he walked back to R's room, R was sitting up at the edge of the bed, which startled Enj.

"Oh hey, you awake?" Enj asked, noticing R still looked out of it. 

"I got to check on the soup," R answered. With that he got up and walked past Enj into the kitchen. Enj followed him, unsure of what to do. 

"It's ready, just needs noodles," R mumbled. He grabbed a box of egg noodles out of the cupboard and poured some in. He looked at Enjolras, who was very confused and said, "Ten minutes," as he patted Enj on the shoulder and stumbled down the hall to the bathroom and closed the door.

_ What do I do?  _ Enj thought, looking around. Before he could figure it out, he heard Grantaire shuffling back down the hall. He was shivering. Enj couldn't see any blankets around. 

"Here," Enj said, taking off his hoodie and putting it around Grantaire shoulders. R slinked his arms into it, not fully knowing what was going on.  _ It's weird seeing him in red _ , Enj thought. He also noticed that the hoodie was a bit big on him. Enj liked to wear his hoodies a bit baggy, which meant someone shorter than him, with short arms like Grantaire would swim in them. 

R stood staring into space and after a minute or two he said, "It's soup time," in a low voice. He got out two white ceramic soup mugs that had a clover design along the top. He ladled himself some soup and then ladled some into the second cup. "Have some soup, Enj," R said, gesturing to the mug.

"Oh, thanks R, but I don't really like soup," Enj said kindly. At that, R looked up at Enj. He looked Enj directly in the eyes as his bottom lip started to stick out and slowly moved up his face. Once the terrible frown was established, R's bottom lip started to quiver. His whole face began to scrunch up and tears started to well up in his eyes. 

"You don't like soup?" R said in a very upset sounding, almost high pitched voice. To Grantaire, soup was comfort. Soup was home. Soup had been a friend when he thought he had none. In his sickened state, this made him very upset.

_ This face he's making could break even the hardest of hearts,  _ Enj thought. _ Standing here in MY hoodie and guilting me. _ "I'll try some of your soup though, R," Enj said with a smile. R nodded, his face relaxing a little, but there was still a frown. Enj took a spoonful to his lips. It was  _ delicious _ . Enj had never had homemade soup before. He could understand how a soup like this could cure you of your ills.

"R, this is fantastic! I mean it. I wasn't lying when I said I didn't like soup, but this could very well change my mind," Enj said, genuinely. R smiled. He grabbed his mug and went back to his room. Enj grabbed his mug and followed. 

R was sitting, cross legged on the bed spooning himself the soup sleepily. He motioned for Enj to sit next to him. They both sat quietly and ate. Enj finished his whole helping and thought he could definitely go for more. R finished his and put his bowl down on his end table. He took some more medicine and laid back down. 

"Help yourself to more, Enj," R said as he was falling back asleep. Enj did help himself to seconds. He made sure he turned off the crock pot. He noticed it was the kind with a detachable pot. He took the pot and the remaining soup, covered it up and stuck it in R's fridge so he could have it for later. Enj finished his second helping greedily. It was the best soup he'd ever tasted! He grabbed R's mug from the room and washed it and his mug, along with the cutting board and knife R had left in the sink.

Enj went to check on R and took his temp.  _ 99°F, it's going down _ . He noticed R's forehead was sweaty now, an indication his fever was breaking. Enj sighed with relief. He decided to head out.

"R, I'm gonna go. Need anything?" Enj asked. 

R sleepily mumbled, "No," and went back to snoring. 

_ I can get the hoodie back some other time,  _ Enj thought. He checked to make sure everything looked ok and headed out. Enj drove home in silence, lost in thought.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A diversion that I peppered in for backstory. Tropey Halloween chapter later this week

Enjolras met Jehan outside of city hall. He knew this was a big day for Jehan and he was happy to be there as emotional support. Since the incident outside of the fundraiser, Jehan had been a little nervous to go places alone. Not only were they still shaken up, but they were nervous about a backlash if Montparnasse and his friends found them. Enj walked up to Jehan, who was wearing a very plain looking blue business suit, their orange hair tied back into a low bun. While they looked good, such an outfit looked out of place on Jehan. 

"You look...nice," Enjolras said as he walked up.

"Thanks. When I go to professional outings, I feel like I have to dress…'normal’," Jehan answered with a sad expression. It was a sad reality that people with gender expressions that were not always accepted by society often had to "play dress up" to blend in with the rest of the world. "You look great as always," Jehan recovered as they tried to smile. Enjolras was wearing white polo shirt underneath a red cardigan and khaki pants, and had his hair tied back into a low ponytail.

"Thanks," Enj said as they started walking. "You excited? Nervous?" he asked.

"I'm nervous, but I feel prepared," Jehan said, raising the clipboard that they held in their left arm. It was a plain wooden clipboard, but underneath the papers you could see a hint of a rainbow sticker. 

_ They always feel so powerful when they have a clipboard. Jehan is going to kill this, _ Enj thought as he smiled. The two of them got to the mayor's office and were ushered in by the security guard. 

"Gentlem...I mean honored guests," the Mayor said as he welcomed the both of them in. He was old, but he promised himself he would keep trying.

"Mayor Fauchelevent, I'm very happy to meet you," Jehan said as they approached the Mayor's giant desk, arm outstretched to shake hands. The Mayor shook both of their hands and gestured for them to sit.

"I am very pleased you both could come. I wasn't expecting to see you again so soon, Enjolras, but I'm glad you’re here," Fauchelevent said cordially.

"I'm happy Jehan invited me. I always love to watch Jehan work," Enjolras was careful to not say Jehan's pronouns until Jehan was ready. Even though Enjolras knew the Mayor was making efforts to use inclusive language and appeared safe, it was not Enjolras's place, and he and Jehan had not discussed this beforehand. 

"So, Jehan, tell me about yourself. You are also a friend of my Cosette?" the Mayor asked, smiling.

"Well, my name is Jehan. My pronouns are they/them,” Jehan paused to make sure there would be no pushback. When there was none, they continued, “I have been working as a writer for our city's paper for a few years now. Currently, I write mostly about local events, but I am eager to get into more serious work. A lot of the topics I want to cover are social justice issues around the world and right here at home. And, yes, although I have only recently met her, we are glad Cosette could be a part of the work we do. Enjolras, myself, and our friends, The Amis, are very thankful for your kind donation," Jehan said, professionally. The Mayor smiled and nodded. "Before we jump in, do you want to say anything or do you want to get right to work?" Jehan continued.

"Well, maybe I should try an introduction. Taking a cue from you, my name is Ultime Fauchelevent and I use he/him pronouns,” he paused and smiled. Jehan nodded in appreciation. “I am trying very hard to learn more about how I can be more inclusive and helpful to more people, and I am very grateful to meet citizens like you. You are teaching me just by being yourselves. As for the donation, it was partially Cosette's idea. I cannot take full credit, but I am always happy to help causes around the city," the Mayor explained. The answer seems to satisfy Jehan and they were ready to start asking deeper questions.

"Mayor Fauchelevent, in your own words, please describe your involvement with a textile factory in a neighboring city ten years ago." Jehan jumped right in.

"I was the owner of the factory at that time," the mayor answered, offering no other information. Jehan wrote his answer down.

"What do you have to say about the sexual assault claims that several of the employees filed against the foreman who worked under you?" Jehan asked, pointing the end of their pen at the Mayor.

"To be completely honest, I was unaware this was occurring. I left the foreman in charge when I was off working on other business, so I wasn't there when these incidents happened. I deeply regret not knowing. If I had known I would have put an end to it," Fauchelevent answered sadly. Jehan's hand flew like lightning, recording the answer. They could tell there was something the Mayor was not saying, perhaps something painful. But they had to press on.

"What was your other business? Is it in connection with a former alias of yours, 'Monsieur Madeleine'?" Jehan asked. The Mayor was quiet for a minute. He seemed upset, but very impressed with Jehan.

"I had various social causes I was working on as well. As for my alias…" the Mayor paused. He seemed to be thinking over how to answer the question. He decided on honesty. "I changed my name after I left prison. I had become a new man and wanted my name to reflect. Madeleine was an alias I decided on. My real name is Jean Valjean," the Mayor explained sadly. 

"What did you go to prison for? And if you changed your name when you left prison, then why is your name 'Fauchelevent' now?" Jehan was stunned. This was a bigger story than they thought. Enjolras sat with his mouth open, unable to process.

"I went to prison for breaking into a bakery after hours. My family was very poor and my sister’s child was sick and it was all I could think to do at the time. I meant no harm, just to help my sister. After I left prison, I changed my name to become a better man, to give myself a chance in an unforgiving society. The name change was done legally, I assure you,” Fauchelvent explained. 

“It sounds like you succeeded in becoming a better person. You are well known for your charity work in partnership with the Bishop Myriel Memorial Hospital, as well as your work with prison reform. In fact, it’s why you were elected. All of this makes sense now, but why did you change your name a second time?” Jehan asked again. This information was shocking. Jehan wanted to find the truth, but was quickly reconsidering running this story.

“When I changed my name again, it was because…" the Mayor paused again, thinking. He continued, "I needed to get away from someone who was after me. I made him lose his job years ago and he never got over it. He would follow me home, accuse me in the streets, and harassed me when I was with my daughter. I reported him for his behavior. I never thought I'd see him again until…" he paused again. Jehan and Enjolras were on the edge of their seats.

"Until?" Jehan asked, impatiently.

"Until he emerged in a new town, with a new job," the Mayor explained. He took a sip of water out of the cup on his desk. "You see, that man was not only my old parole officer, but also your building inspector, Javert," he explained. Jehan and Enjolras nearly fell out of their seats. Jehan let out an audible gasp. Enjolras remained speechless.

“It is true. He finally found me again after ten years,” the Mayor said, shaking his head.

"You knew him? Is that why you insisted you come to the cafe?" Enjolras asked, suddenly waking from his stupor. Jehan realized they were not writing any of this down.

"Yes. He was up to his old tricks, harassing you and your friends because he didn't agree with you. He lost his job because he was found to be harassing the women who were filing claims against the foreman, including Cosette's dearly departed mother," the Mayor said, bowing his head. That terribly sad look was back on his face. "If I had stopped the abuse at the factory, Cosette's mother may have lived. She became very sick after she lost her job and couldn't afford healthcare. Javert harassed her because she turned to sex work. The whole affair has never been spoken about. Even Cosette doesn't know," he couldn't look Enjolras and Jehan in the eye. 

“Mayor Fauchelevent, I had no idea,” Jehan said with a voice full of compassion. 

“It’s alright. I’m glad the truth is coming out. You are helping me...unburden,” the Mayor said.

“So when you helped us at the cafe...what happened in there?” Enjolras asked, still floored.

"When I went to talk to Javert, I threatened to alert the public about his past if he didn't back down. He conceded, but I fear our rivalry is far from over," he finished as he sat back in his seat. Jehan and Enjolras were stunned. What do you say to all this?

"Well, that is a lot of story," Jehan said after a few moments of silence. "I'm not sure how to report any of this."

"I have given you all this information to free my conscience of my wrongdoings. You are free to use any of that, but please allow me until tomorrow to explain all of this to Cosette. She should hear this from me first. Unlike the other reporter who ran that smear piece without my knowledge or input," the Mayor pleaded. Jehan rolled their eyes and gave Enjolras a knowing look.

"Of course. I will see what I can do with all this. Thank you for your time." Jehan and Enjolras shook the Mayor's hand again and left. As they walked away, Jehan saw the Mayor at his desk, looking broken.

Enj and Jehan had originally planned on going out to lunch after the interview, but decided it was a good idea to get something to go and talk in private instead. They grabbed a pizza and Crazy Bread from Little Caesar's and met back at Enjolras's apartment.

"Enj, what the hell am I supposed to write about?" Jehan asked, exasperated.

"I'm not sure. This is a huge story, but this could lose him the office. That's a lot of pressure, Jehan. I'm sorry," Enj said, taking a slice from the box.

"I can still spin this without exposing his whole life. I suppose I'll leave the part about prison and pissed off cops out of it, although that would have been an amazing story," Jehan said with a sigh.

"It's up to you. He said he told you, knowing you could print the whole thing," Enj explained as he took a bite.

"I guess. I really have some thinking to do," Jehan answered, grabbing some Crazy Bread. "By the way, where were you yesterday?" Enj nearly choked at the question.  _ Jehan is too smart for their own good, _ he thought.

"I was at R's house. He was still really sick and Ep asked me to check in on him," Enj explained.  _ The whole thing was harmless. So why do I feel so anxious?  _ he thought.

"Oh? Is R ok?" Jehan asked, concerned for R, but with a look on their face that Enj couldn't interpret.  _ A raised eyebrow? What do they think happened? _ Enj thought.

"Yeah. He just had a fever. Ep couldn't bring him meds because Gav was sick, too." Enj said, matter-of-factly. All of this information was true, so why did this feel weird to talk about?

"That's all? You're so boring," Jehan said, as they shook their head. 

_ What's that supposed to mean? _ Enj thought. "Yeah, he just needed medicine. Why? What do you think happened?" Enj finally asked out loud.

"Nothing. I was hoping for some juicy gossip and I was under the illusion you might have been someone other than the Enjolras we know and love," Jehan said, teasingly. Enj glared at him.

"Actually, if you could help me figure out why Eponine thinks Grantaire wouldn't want to talk to me, that would be great," Enj asked as he softened his face.

"I have no idea, but I'm gonna find out. I'll text her when I'm done writing this monstrosity," Jehan said excitedly.  _ This ought to be good,  _ they thought, smiling.

"Thanks," Enj answered. _ Probably just a misunderstanding, _ he reassured himself.

"So how is R now? Did you check in on him?" Jehan asked, still digging. 

_ Always asking questions, _ Enj thought. But then he realized that he hadn't checked in.

"I'll shoot him a text," Enj said, getting out his phone. He texted R  _ "Feeling any better? _ ", which he showed to Jehan. They both waited a minute for R to answer. When the phone buzzed, Enj jumped. Jehan rolled their eyes. 

_ "Feeling ok, I guess. Just woke up. I think I'm wearing your hoodie. Sorry" _ R texted back. Enj made the mistake of reading the whole thing out loud. Jehan’s interest piqued.

"It's after 2 PM, he must've still been sleeping it off," Enj said, not looking at Jehan. Jehan's mouth was agape. __

_ What is really going on here?  _ they thought.  _ There is more to this story.  _ "He's wearing your hoodie? There was a clothing exchange?" Jehan teased again, unable to hide their excitement.

"What? No. He was freezing so I put it on him and then he fell asleep so I couldn't get it back. Nothing crazy," Enj said so matter-of-factly that Jehan's head almost exploded.

“Aw, how sweet of you,” Jehan said, slyly. Enjolras blushed.  _ Is he serious? I'm definitely texting Eponine after this, _ they thought. "I mean, you’re a really great friend, Enj. I know you would do that for any of us," Jehan said, pretending to play it cool. 

“Of course,” Enj said, recovering, but still feeling a little weird about not only this conversation, but why he was so nervous to talk about it.

They both dropped the conversation after Jehan realized they didn’t want to make Enjolras uncomfortable and finished their lunch. Enj thanked Jehan for the invite and left Jehan to do their work. Jehan spent most of the night agonizing over what to actually write. What should be said and what shouldn’t. The Mayor was a good man, maybe even great. They didn’t want to hurt him or his career, and especially not Cosette, after all the help they had given The Amis.

The next afternoon, Jehan's story ran. The little blurb in the corner of the front page read:

MAYOR'S MYSTERIOUS PAST

Mayor Fauchelevent is not who he seems. He is more than a mayor. He is also a family man and humanitarian. Ultime Fauchelevent, former owner of an old textile factory, understands hardwork and sacrifice. Story continues pg.3

The article explained that the Mayor fought for his workers at the expense of his own reputation. It covered the harassment he endured at the hands of corrupt officers without naming names and how he helped a former employee in her time of need. It never mentioned Cosette or the multiple name changes. It painted Mayor Fauchelevent in a light that would further endear him to the people of their city, highlighting his charity work and what a difference he had made in the community. The Mayor called Jehan to thank them for their honesty and artistry. He almost sounded like he was in tears.The Amis now had a powerful ally. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tropes, tropes tropes. Greek gods and references to mythology that I hope make sense and a Drunk, flirty Enjolras. Happy Samhain/Halloween!!

The Amis were hard at work improving the cafe. The floors were redone, the walls painted, the kitchen got new equipment, and things were really coming together. The Amis could only really get work done on the weekend, since most of them worked days and weeknights. Enjolras and Jehan had the job of being there when deliveries were made. Grantaire would go on days Enjolras wasn't there, still afraid of the lecture he was anticipating. If he and Enj did manage to be there at the same time, R kept his distance. He knew they would have to speak sometime, but he wanted to avoid it as long as possible. He still needed to return Enj's hoodie, but kept forgetting to bring it. Whether he wore it sometimes in the comfort of his own home or not was his own business.

Sometimes, Enjolras just liked to go there and sit in the quiet, admiring how far they all had come. Sometimes, Jehan joined him. It was during those quiet hangouts they came up with the idea for Jehan's birthday party. Since it was so close to Halloween, Jehan insisted it be a costume party. Jehan was a solitary pagan practitioner and lover of the Greek Pantheon. The idea was to assign their friends a figure from Greek mythology to match their personalities, and then have everyone show up and let Jehan decide how they did with their costumes. This served the purpose of allowing Jehan to participate in their favorite pastime, judging others, in lieu of getting meaningless gifts and money. Not in a mean way, of course, but Jehan loved the power that came with being someone that other people tried to impress. 

Jehan sent out the invites with everyone's assigned costume. Courf and Combeferre offered to have the party at their apartment, since theirs was bigger than Jehan's. Jehan agreed. 

The day of the party came and Jehan showed up to Courf and Ferre's apartment early to set up. Courf was not dressed yet and was working hard to set out bowls for snacks and cups for drinks, checking to make sure there was enough ice, and finishing making his 5 layer taco dip. Ferre was already dressed and was quickly vacuuming their living room. 

Jehan was wearing a toga with a floral belt and had various fake flowers braided into their orange hair.

"Who are you supposed to be?" Courf asked, sneaking some dip. 

"I'm Persephone, goddess of the spring and the underworld," Jehan answered with a smile as they put down the boxed wine they brought to share.

"Oh, that's so you! Hey, can you stir the chili for me so I can go get changed?" Courf answered. Jehan nodded. As Courf left the room, Combeferre came in. He also was wearing a toga, but had on a golden helmet and had a small stuffed owl affixed to his shoulder. 

"Ah, fair Persephone, so glad you could make it," Ferre said as he also snuck some dip. He was liking this chance to show off his vast knowledge and roleplay a little.

"Yes, wise Athena, thank you for holding my party here," Jehan said as they bowed. Courf came running out of the bedroom in his own toga. It had wings attached to the back that flapped as he ran, and he was carrying a bow and arrow.

"Don't eat anymore dip!" Courf shouted.

"As if you haven't been eating it all morning," Ferre said as he grabbed his fiance and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"You got salsa on me," Courf joked.

"Sorry, I could resist,  _ Eros, _ " Ferre joked back, wiping Courf's cheek.

There was a buzz from the intercom and Courf let them in. At the door, it was Feuilly and Bahorel. Bahorel entered in body armor in the ancient Greek style, carrying a case of beer. Feuilly was wearing a long metalworking apron and was carrying a large hammer and a different case of beer.

"Ares! Hephaestus! You made it!" Jehan greeted them excitedly.

"Um, yeah, where you want this?" Rel asked, pointing to the beers.

"Over here in the fridge. We still have room," Ferre explained. "How interesting that the two of you came together, seeing as you hate each other," he laughed.

"What? Me and Rel hang out all the time," Feuilly said confused.

"Not you two, the gods you're dressed as...nevermind," Ferre stopped, realizing the conversation had moved on. Feuilly and Bahorel had already cracked open the still warm beers and crashed on the couch, chatting loudly.

The next group to show up were Bossuet, Musichetta, and Joly, who brought the sheet pizza and wings. Bossuet had decided to go more of the Disney route and was wearing dark robes and a blue wig to look like flames on top of his normally bald head. 

"Hades! That’s one I know! You're going to be excited, Suet, we're going to watch Hercules later," Courf said, helping Bossuet put the pizza box on the kitchen counter. 

"I'm excited to explain to you all the inaccuracies in the film," Ferre said with a smug smile.

"It's not as bad as what the Percy Jackson movies did to mythology, not to mention what they did to the Percy Jackson books," Courf countered from the other room, having walked away to set up the TV. Everyone sighed, because he was correct. 

Musichetta was wearing a long blue dress with fish swimming in a coral reef around the bottom and she carried a trident. Jehan commented on how stunning she looked as Posiden. Joly was wearing a white toga, fake white beard, and a headband in the shape of a lightning bolt. Ferre laughed when he saw him.

"Why are you laughing? I thought I looked ok," Joly asked.

"Oh, I was just laughing at Jehan's joke," Ferre explained. Everyone looked confused except for Jehan, who smiled. "Joly is Zeus and the Roman name for Zeus is Jupiter, which the word jovial or jolly comes from. You're dressed as a pun. Very clever, Jehan!" Ferre said, laughing and gave Jehan a high five. 

"Nerd!" Courf shouted.

"That's why you love me!" Ferre shouted back. There was a knock at the door. It was Marius and Cosette. Cosette was wearing a red toga and had little hearts painted on her cheeks, befitting Aphrodite, the goddess of love. Marius, however, came in with a very untidy brown wig, a long dress-like toga, terrible red lipstick, and was carrying scales. Even Ferre was confused.

"Marius, I am going to have to give an offering to Themis after this," Jehan said, jokingly.

"Oh right, Themis! Goddess of justice," Ferre said, understanding now.

"And lawyers," Marius said with a smile as he pushed some knotted hair away from his face. "We brought the extra chips," he explained, handing them to Courf, and he and Cosette settled themselves on the sectional in the living room with everyone else. 

After awhile, Enjolras arrived. He was wearing a white toga that went just to his knees. He had his hair down, which went just below his shoulders and he was wearing a laurel wreath in his hair. He carried a small golden harp and brought more boxed wine. 

"Apollo! You look radiant!" Jehan said and Ferre laughed. Enj got the pun. Jehan thought he looked great.  _ So shiny. And that's a lot of leg,  _ Jehan thought. Enj went into the kitchen where Jehan was sitting so that they could have full access to the food.

"Hey, Jehan. How is it going so far?" Enj said, looking nervous. 

"It's great so far. Why, what's up?" Jehan asked, helping Enj put the wine on the countertop.

"Is R here? I just don't know if things will be awkward," Enj explained, looking around.

"You still haven't talked to him? No, he's not here yet, but since you both love me, I trust there won't be any drama," Jehan gave him a look as they dipped some bread into their chili.

"Of course," Enj said with a smile. Jehan smiled back, their cheeks full of bread. Enj seemed satisfied and joined the others in the living room after grabbing a glass of wine for himself.

There was a buzz again. Eponine showed up at the door. She was dressed in white shirt and mini skirt and had on a hat with wings glued on the side. She did the same to her shoes. She was Hermes, god of messages. She apologized for not bringing anything, explaining she came right from work and had to pick up Grantaire, who needed help carrying what he brought. She came in with a box of cupcakes that R had baked with light blue swirled frosting and shiny specks to look like stars, now that his new oven was up and running. Courf ran out the door so loudly they could hear his steps reverberating in the hallway. 

After a minute Courf busted in the door. "We got cannoli chips, y'all!" he shouted excitedly as he held the platter of chips above his head. Behind him, laughing, was Grantaire. He was carrying a large bowl of his homemade cannoli dip and a green wine bottle, and over his shoulder was a red jacket of sorts. As he walked into the kitchen, Jehan looked at him, puzzled. R was wearing a white toga with a purple sash. In his hair appeared to be grape leaves, but on the right side he had a small, purple flower hidden among the leaves. When Jehan saw the flower, their eyes grew wide as if they figured something out.

"You made a small substitution to your costume, Dionysus," Jehan said with a sly smile. Ferre noticed, too and he and Jehan shared a knowing look.

"I figured in light of my recent sobriety, I wouldn’t be a very good Dionysus so I tweaked my costume a little. I hope that’s ok," R explained as he placed his wine bottle down. It was empty. "I had this lying around. I didn't drink it recently," he explained after he saw Jehan look at the bottle.

"Purple hyacinths though? Very bold of you. What if he figures it out?" Jehan asked, concerned, but living for the drama of R hiding his feelings in plain sight. R blushed.

"Here's hoping he doesn't know mythology," R smiled. Part of R was excited at the idea of letting his secret out, but also terrified. He and Enj were getting along pretty well until the fundraiser, and he hoped that at the very least Enj would see it as a sign of friendship and wanting to make peace.

"Well, I'm still going to judge you as Dionysus, so your cover won't be blown by me,  _ Hyacinthus,"  _ Jehan said with an even bigger smile. R blushed again and raised his finger to his mouth and made a " _ shhhh _ " motion. At that moment, Enj entered the kitchen for a refill of food, but also hoping to talk to R. 

"Hey," Enj said, nodding his head at R. He looked at what he was wearing. "Dionysus?" he asked.

"Yeah, typecasting right?" R said with a shrug. "Oh, this is yours. Sorry I had it for so long," R said, as he awkwardly handed Enj the hoodie. 

"Oh, thanks. It's no problem," Enj said, taking it from him. Jehan felt like a third wheel.

"Excuse me, I have to use the restroom," Jehan said as they pushed out of the situation to give Enj and R some space. 

R sighed.  _ I guess this might as well happen,  _ he thought.

"R, why have you been avoiding me?" Enj asked once he realized they were alone. R let out another sigh. 

"So you wouldn't lecture me about punching that guy," R said, avoiding eye contact, which was difficult since he didn't want to take his eyes off of Enjolras.  _ He looks amazing,  _ R thought,  _ truly Apollo incarnate. _ Looking down though, he realized he could see part of Enj's thighs. He looked away quickly.

"Lecture you? I was proud of you. If you weren't there, Jehan could've been seriously hurt," Enj explained, confused.

"But I heard you say 'violence isn't the answer' and thought…" R said, also confused.

"No no no, I agreed that violence isn't a good thing, but it is definitely necessary if you're defending yourself or other people," Enj said to him, finally understanding. "I'm sorry if you overheard that and misunderstood. I think you handled yourself well. And it wasn't like you pummeled the guy, you gave him a sucker punch." R understood now and felt silly.

"Also, I never thanked you for helping me that day I was sick. I didn't mean to bother you and then I stole your hoodie…" R said, beginning to ramble.

"Don't worry about it, man. We're friends, right? That's what we do for each other," Enj said as he tapped R on the shoulder. In truth Enj still felt awkward about that day, but wasn't sure why. 

_ Yeah, friends,  _ R thought. "Was I at least a good patient?" R asked, looking up at Enj. 

"Yeah. You slept most of the day so I just watched TV except…" Enj let out a chuckle.

"What?" R asked, wanting to be a part of the joke.

"You cried because I didn't want any soup," Enj laughed. R felt all the blood rush to his face.

"I get weepy when I'm sick," R said, defending himself, but then he laughed as well.

"No, it was fine. I'm sure we've all been there," Enj tried to reassure him. 

At that, Courf called from the living room, "Can we all come in here and take a seat?" looking directly at Enj and R who were the only ones not in the room. Enj refilled his glass with wine and they scrambled in. There was one seat left on the couch next to Marius. R looked at Marius for the first time and saw what he was wearing, then he insisted Enj take the seat and sat on the floor next to Eponine, just in front of Enj. Courf and Ferre stood at the front of the room.

"Thank you all for coming to the birthday/Halloween party for our dear Jehan," Courf started. Everyone clapped. "Happy 29th, Jehan, enjoy your youth while you have it," Courf continued, pretending to cry. Everyone laughed.

"While we have you here, we have an announcement to make," Ferre said as he wrapped his arm around Courf and let his left hand rest on Courf's left hip, avoiding crushing his wings. "As you know, Courf and I have been dating for a long time and we recently got engaged.”

"Yeah, for forever!" Bahorel shouted and everyone laughed again.

Ferre continued, "So we decided, why wait? We're hoping to get married just before Christmas," Ferre said as he looked Courf in the eye, who in return kissed him. Everyone cheered again. There was a lot of excited chattering and even some clapping.

"Ok, ok," Courf said, smiling. "With that, let's start the movies! Can you all get off of our wi-fi for a few minutes while I get Disney+ to load? Our Roku is one of the older models and it takes a minute if too many people are connected." Everyone obliged. It was still taking awhile. While they waited a few people got up to get some more food. Enj refilled his glass for a second time. Courf had to restart the Roku a few times. He kept apologizing, not understanding the problem. Everyone was understanding and continued chatting. R turned around to see Enj’s cheeks becoming red from the wine. He knew Enj didn’t drink very much.

“You doing alright, friend?” R asked him.

“Yeah. Feeling great actually. I was thinking about one more since I’m probably staying over,” Enj explained as he got up. He stumbled just a little, but waved to R that he was ok. R turned to Eponine and they both chuckled.

As Enj sat back down, Courf was getting frustrated, he turned around to look at everyone, only to see Marius scrolling on his phone and showing Cosette something on the screen.

"MARIUS, GET OFF THE WI-FI!" Courf shouted. At moments like this, he regretted introducing him to the group.  _ God dammit, Pontmercy,  _ he grumbled to himself. Marius turned as red as his lipstick and apologized profusely. Once he put the phone down, the app loaded up. Courf selected Hercules and then sat on the floor in front of Combeferre who was sitting in an armchair off to the side. Courf took the wings off and leaned back into Combeferre, who gave Courf an upside kiss on his forehead to calm him down. 

As the movie was underway, everyone was snacking. Enjolras had never had cannoli chips and dip before. They were out of this world! The chips were so crunchy and the dip was so sweet and creamy. It reminded Enj of when he was young and his grandmother would take him to the local fair in the summer. A hot summer day, eating all the different foods. The cool night after being in the sun all day, the temperature change making him put on a light jacket. How the lights from the rides and games look like colorful stars twinkling as he walked out of the fair holding his grandmother's hand. Safe. Warm. He realized he zoned out again. Perhaps he was warm from those two, no maybe three, glasses of wine. 

He saw R sitting on the floor, cross-legged in front of him, a legs length away, chatting with Eponine quietly. He noticed the flower in R's hair.  _ That's a nice flower,  _ Enj thought.  _ Smells nice _ . He did not understand the reference R was making, which was probably for the best. He took a few more bites of cannoli chips and dip. 

"Mmmm," Enj vocalized quietly. Marius turned to look at him. Enj pointed to the half bitten chip, nodded at Marius, and gave a thumbs up. Marius nodded, smiling, then turned back to Cosette.  _ Marius needs a haircut or a stylist,  _ Enj thought. That wine was definitely kicking in. Enj didn't drink often so when he did, it hit him hard. Enj took another bite.  _ Damn, R's a good cook! _ he thought. Enj, feeling the wine warming his brain, poked R in the back with his foot. R turned around confused to see Enjolras with his foot in the air. Because his toga was so short, R could see the edge of Enj's red boxer briefs. He blushed, quickly glanced at Enj's face, and tried not to look like he looked at what he was looking at.

"What?" R mouthed, amused.

"You're a good cook," Enj whispered, a little louder than he intended. 

R, reading the situation, smiled and simply mouthed "thank you" and turned back around. He elbowed Eponine, who had watched the whole interaction and winked at him. 

Enjolras finished the rest of his dip quietly, a little embarrassed as he realized what he did.  _ I’m gonna ask him to make me this someday,  _ Enj thought as he crunched away.

After the movie it was time for judging. Jehan got up in front of everyone. 

"Thank you all for your participation. I have spent the whole night judging you and checking off things on my mental clipboard. I think you all did fantastic and you look amazing. That being said, I'm going to give you some awards. I made this all up and as my gift to you, you will each get one because I am so kind," Jehan said as they got out slips of paper from the table behind them. "Worst dressed goes to Marius as Themis." The crowd clapped and Marius blushed. "I really appreciate the effort to try drag for the first time, but baby, that wig? No." Jehan handed Marius their award, which was a ditto copy of something you would get in school, and which said "Worst Dressed: Marius as Themis" with a little cartoon medal with a smiley face in the corner. “I’m going to ask the gods not to smite you  _ this time. _ ” 

"My next award goes to Best Cosplay, which is Bossuet as Disney's Hades," Jehan said as everyone clapped and they handed Bossuet his award. "Nice job, Suet."

"For Most Original, I picked Ms. Musichetta for that stunning homemade Poseidon dress. Give us a twirl!" Jehan said as Musichetta obliged.

"For Best Couple, I'm awarding Courf and Ferre as the unlikely duo of Eros and Athena, and because they threw me this party," Jehan said as Courf bowed and Ferre remained sitting and waved. Courf sat back down, but on Ferre’s lap and they were lost to everyone else for the rest of the ceremony. Eponine got Most Creative. Cosette got Cutest. Joly got Best Classic Interpretation. Bahorel got Most Warlike, because Jehan couldn't think of one for him. Feuilly got points off when Jehan noticed his hammer was actually Mjölnir, a prop from the Thor movies, but since Thor is also from Norse mythology, Feuilly was awarded Best International Interpretation. Enjolras was awarded Most Accurate Costume because he looked so much like the god he was supposed to portray. Jehan had thought long and hard on how to award Grantaire. He didn't want to blow his cover if no one else beside Ferre and themself picked up on it, but he clearly was a half-assed Dionysus. Jehan decided.

"For you Grantaire, as a Dionysus who has thankfully slowed down on your drinking and since I'm so proud of you, I award you 'The Recovering God' award," and everyone cheered. Jehan truly was so happy for R, as was everyone else. R was happy with his award, too. He turned to see what Enj thought. He clapped and gave R a cockeyed thumbs up. He clearly was tipsy. 

They all sang "Happy Birthday" to Jehan and passed out the cupcakes. After that the party started to die down. Everyone started giving hugs and leaving. Grantaire and Eponine had moved to the couch to continue chatting with Courf, Ferre and Jehan. Eponine sat at the other end, leaving R between herself and Enj, who was quickly drifting away. It was very clear that Enj was ready for bed. 

“R…” Enj said while poking R in the shoulder.

“Yeah?” R said, turning to him and smiling.

“Your flower smells nice,” Enj slurred out and he rested his head on R’s shoulder. A small gasp escaped Jehan’s mouth before they could stop themself. R  _ shhhhh’d _ them gently as he motioned for Eponine to move and slowly lowered Enj into a horizontal position, making sure he was laying on his side. R had learned the hard way never to lie face down or on your back when you’re drunk, and he was always worried if his drinking got bad enough, he would die like the drummer of Led Zepplin, drowned in his own vomit.

"That's what the couch is for," Courf said. He and Combeferre were always happy to offer a couch to sleep on. R had taken advantage of the offer several times. It seemed so odd to him, this role reversal, a drunk Enjolras and a sober Grantaire. He picked up Enj's hoodie and covered him up, pulling down his toga, which has ridden up a little, to save him some embarrassment. Courf "awww'd" quietly to Ferre. Ferre whispered something to Courf about the flower in R's hair, to which Courf gave him a big smile and pretended to be surprised. Courf never told Ferre what he knew, just like he promised, but he was glad that the secret was semi out.

"R, we keep the extra blankets in the ottoman now," Courf said, directing him. R nodded and grabbed a big, fluffy, gray blanket and placed it on Enjolras. He walked over to the happy couple to give them goodbye hugs. Ferre gave him a big, knowing hug and patted him on the back. Courf grabbed his face and gave him a kiss on the cheek. As he hugged R goodbye, he whispered in R's ear, "Someday," and squeezed him tight. R waved and left with Eponine, leaving Courf, Ferre, Jehan, and a sleeping Enj. Courf and Ferre joined Jehan in the kitchen, who was helping themself to a last round of taco dip. 

"So," Jehan began after they finished chewing, "now that we  _ all know _ , let's start taking bets."


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another flashback. Very sappy and a little sad
> 
> TW: teen drinking, death (not a main character), grief, depression

14 years ago:

* _ Ding Dong* _

"I'll get it, Mémé!" Enjolras shouted as he came bounding down the stairs and to the door. 

"Ok," Mémé shouted from the kitchen. Enj opened the door, out of breath, to see Grantaire standing on his porch with his hands full of art supplies and poster board.

"Hey, R! Come on in!" Enj said enthusiastically as he tried to grab something from R, but R just shooed him away and asked where to put everything. "Put it in the parlour on the coffee table and then you can come right into the dining room. Dinner is almost ready," Enj explained excitedly. 

The walls in Mémé's house were so colorful. The parlour's walls were a muted red. There was a black, pleather couch and a matching armchair. In the center of the room was a glass top coffee table that R put the supplies and his backpack down on. Mémé, Enj's grandmother, had agreed to R coming over to work on their latest political interest as long as she was allowed to cook, as she called him, "your poor, melancholy friend" a nice dinner. 

"What are we having?" Grantaire asked, with a smile.

"My famous beef bourguignon. Of course, by famous, I mean just between my Enj and I," Mémé said as she came into the dining room carrying a large pot and placed it on the hot plate in the middle of the dining table. She gestured for R and Enj to sit as she took off her red oven mitts. The walls of the dining room and kitchen were a peach color. The only difference was the kitchen had fruit wallpaper on two of the walls. The table and chairs themselves were a light wood. On the wall by the table was a picture of a younger looking Mémé sitting on a red bench under a tree with her arm wrapped around a small blond boy who was smiling and missing one of his front teeth. It was a little Enjolras.

"What is beef...um?" R said, as he sat down in the chair at the opposite end of the table from Mémé, facing the kitchen. Enj sat between him and Mémé at the 4 seater table. 

"Beef Bourguignon. It's a family recipe. It's like a stew with beef, carrots, bacon, onions, and mushrooms. Enj and I like it over mashed potatoes. Which reminds me!" she explained, taking off for the kitchen to grab said mashed potatoes.

"Smells delicious," R said. He never knew how to act in situations like this. He knew to be polite, but sometimes he became very quiet, unsure of what he should do and not wanting to be rude. 

Mémé came back into the room with a bowl of mashed potatoes and a loaf of bread. She placed everything on the table and said, "Help yourself," as she sat down. Enj could see R wasn't sure what to do so he passed him the mashed potatoes. R took a tiny scoop to make sure he didn't take too much. 

"Is that all you're going to take? Please, eat up!" Mémé said, as she was buttering slices of bread. Enj nodded at him.

"Don't worry, R, load your plate up. Mémé won't stand for tiny portions," Enj said, with a reassuring smile. R took a slightly bigger scoop and put it on top of the first one. Mémé passed two slices of buttered bread down to R through Enj. 

"So, what are we up to tonight, boys?" Mémé asked, buttering bread for Enj this time. R took a spoonful of the stew, trying to avoid getting the mushrooms on the ladle. He hated mushrooms. 

"We're working on organizing an event for school. R graduated last year, but he's going to help us. It's to raise awareness about the dwindling honey bee population," Enj explained as he scooped himself some stew to top his mountain of mashed potatoes. He doubled up on the mushrooms. 

"That's very nice. I'm so glad you and your friends are trying to change the world for the better. I honestly don't know where I went wrong with your mother. Her and your father's generation only care about the almighty dollar. I blame Ronald Reagan," she said, shaking her head as she served herself. R had waited for her to serve herself to eat, but Enj was shoveling it in his mouth as fast as he could. "So, R, what have you been up to since you graduated?" Mémé continued.

R answered, in a soft, nervous voice, "Just trying to save up some money right now, maybe to get into art school. I've been working mostly. Wherever I can find it."

"That's good. You'll get there. What kind of art do you do?" Mémé asked, in between bites.

"Graphic design. Some painting. Nothing serious right now," R answered. He really loved the food. The beef fell apart in his mouth and the carrots were nice and salty. He rarely got a home cooked meal and he was extremely grateful.

"R's drawings are fantastic! He could do comics or animation or just about anything," Enj said as he looked at Mémé and then back to R with a huge smile. Mémé smiled at her grandson as if she just figured something out. Enj and R didn't notice as they were looking at each other.

"Well, R, I'd be excited to take a look at your work sometime. I'm sure it's lovely," Mémé said. 

R blushed. He wasn't used to older people having an interest in what he was doing at all, let alone wanting to see his work. He smiled and simply said, "Sure." 

The three of them made small talk for the rest of the meal, Mémé trying to avoid asking R any questions about his family, as Enj had warned her that he might not have stable living conditions right now. She started to clean the table, and R jumped up immediately to help. Mémé insisted that the boys retire to the parlour to get to work as she cleaned up. R tried to offer help twice more and was waved off both times. Enj finally directed him to the parlour where they both sat down on the couch.

"Your grandma is an amazing cook," R said, not sure what to talk about next. He didn’t know why he was so nervous now that it was just Enj and himself, but he was. 

"She's the best," Enj replied. "So do you want to get started?"

"Oh, yeah, we can. I brought poster boards, all my markers, my laptop, whatever you think we'll need," R said, as he grabbed his backpack. 

"Ok, let's do this," Enj said, grabbing his own notebook. The two boys worked for a few hours. Mémé tried to stay out of the way to give her grandson privacy. It made her so happy that he had found someone to be close to, whatever this turned out to be. Right before heading to bed, she brought them a tray with her homemade butter cookies and some coffee. She kissed Enjolras goodnight, they both whispered "I love yous".

"Thank you for coming to dinner, R. It was nice to meet you," she said, with a wave goodnight and a smile.

"No, thank you for everything! It was delicious," R waved and smiled back. 

She blew him and Enj a goodnight kiss and ascended the stairs. "Don't stay up too late, boys," she said as she went up. 

"We won't, Mémé," Enj said, biting into a cookie. Enj was happy to take a small snack break. He looked over at R who was smiling. "What's up?" he asked.

"We just don't do this kind of stuff at my house. It's nice," R said, reaching for a cookie. Enj frowned out of concern for his friend.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Enj asked. "I know you've said you and your parents aren't close."

"Not right now, if that's ok," R said, now also frowning.

"I'm here to listen when you're ready," Enj said as he tapped his friend on his knee.

"Thanks. Someday," R said, unable to look at Enj, but happy he touched his leg. R thought the cookies were delicious and thought to himself that maybe, if he was brave enough, he would ask Mémé for her recipe. 

Over the past year, R had developed a crush on Enj. Something about how he changed from someone so quiet and shy to someone who could light up a room made him fall and fall hard. Now that he had graduated and Enj was still a senior, he didn't have an opportunity to see him everyday anymore. A lot was happening in his home life as well, so he was mostly focused on survival. His parents' drinking had always been a problem, but now that R was growing up, there was more to criticize. His job, that he wasn't in school, his ambiguous sexuality. His parents had assumed that since he wasn't bringing home girl after girl, he must be gay. They were partially right. Like Jehan, R figured that when he found love, their gender wouldn't matter to him. At the moment, their gender was Enjolras. 

"Anyway, we should work on a slogan next. Something catchy," Enj said, trying to bring R out of his daydream.

"I don't know. If Courf were here, he'd probably suggest "Bee Aware" or something corny," R said with a chuckle.

"Yeah, just puns everywhere. "Bee at the field at 4. Don't bee late," Enj said, joking

"Honey, don't you miss this rally," R said, snapping his fingers in a sassy manner to imitate Courf.

"Bee a sweetie and come to the meeting," Enj laughed.

"No, that's more Jehan," R laughed back.

"You're right, you're right," Enj said with a nod. He was having a lot of fun, but they did need to figure something out.

"How about BEE-utiful Bees?" R said, stretching his hands across the air to imitate a sign. 

"I like that. Write that one down," Enj said. They worked in this way for a few more hours. The coffee and cookies were long gone and it was already close to 4am. At this point R had his head back against the couch and was staring into space, singing "La Cucaracha", but in buzzing noises, way past exhaustion. 

"That's about cockroaches, not bees," Enj said with a yawn, also slumping back against the couch cushions. R took the cue and started buzzing "I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee."

"Isn't that song about smooshing….bees?" Enj asked as he was falling asleep. 

"Oh yeah...my bad," R said, also falling asleep. As Enj fell asleep, his head rolled and came to rest on R's shoulder as his weight collapsed against R. R tried to turn to look at him, but all he could see was the top of Enj's blond head. The warmth of Enj's sleeping body against his made his heart smile. He gently rested his cheek on top of those blond locks and let sleep overtake him as well.

  
  


11 years ago:

Courf had a whole night planned for Enj and himself. Although Enj wasn't a big drinker, it was his birthday and Courf insisted they take a trip to Courf's family's lake cabin to celebrate. Since 19 wasn't legal in the States, Courf procured them both some Molson Canadian as a joke. Although Enj was concerned about the legality of it all, Courf argued that since they could serve in the military and die for their country at 18, they should be able to drink in it at 19. Enj accepted this reasoning, said “fuck the man” and decided as he could really use a night out.

After a day of drinking and swimming and general frivolity, they made a nice bonfire to sit by and dry off. Enj, who didn't usually drink, was quite tipsy. Courf was as well, but was handling it better.

"Here, take this stick," Courf said, handing a long stick to Enj so he could roast marshmallows.

"Is that what Ferre says to you?" Enj asked, cackling.

"Maybe he does and maybe I do," Courf joked back, pretending to be offended. This made Enj laugh harder. Courf was just happy Enj was lightening up. He could get really wrapped up in school, work, and his social efforts and forget to have fun. "Have a marshmallow," Courf said, handing one to Enj. Enj struggled for a second to get the marshmallow on the stick, staring intently the whole time. He managed after a while and began turning the treat over the fire.

"At least you have a stick," Enj said, chuckling.

"Enj, I keep telling you, you could have whatever stick…" Courf stopped and laughed, then continued, "you could date whoever you wanted. You're a hottie and I'm not just saying that."

"I'm just really busy right now, midterms, and then we've got the rally next week..." Enj tried to reason.

"I'm not saying get married. I'm saying go out for a night of fun every once in awhile," Courf said with a shoulder wiggle.

"Oh I have, just not for a few months," Enj said with a smirk.

"You mean not  _ this year _ . You're always focused on the next project…" Courf started to say, jokingly.

"It's just that me and R are working on this clothing drive," Enj said.

"R, huh?" Courf asked, raising his eyebrow.

"He has  _ such  _ great ideas. He's designing these flyers and he's rented us a venue and he's just so good at knowing how to gather crowds and…" Enj began to say, talking very quickly. Courf rolled his eyes. "What?" Enj asked, noticing.

"R?" Courf asked again.

"R what? We're working together," Enj answered.

"You guys are  _ always  _ working together. So why not R?" Courf asked, raising both eyebrows this time.

"What? No! We're just friends," Enj said, taking a bite of his marshmallow.

"Uh huh," Courf said as he shoved his whole marshmallow in his mouth. "Somrnfjtejrh,” he mumbled with his mouth full.

"Whhjdr?" Enj asked, also with a mouth full of marshmallow.

"So were me and Ferre, until I cornered him after prom and changed his life forever," Courf said after swallowing and with a huge smile on his face.

"Yeah, but that's you guys," Enj said, taking a swig of beer. "No, R and I aren't like that," he said, still blushing. After a moment of thought he asked, "Isn't R straight?" 

"No idea. I've never seen him date anyone of  _ any _ gender," Courf explained, taking a drink himself. "He's got a lot going on with his family and I think that takes up all his time." Enj frowned.

"What's up with that? He ever say anything to you?" Enj asked out of curiosity and concern.

"Nope," Courf answered matter-of-factly. "I know when things get bad, he disappears for a while, but he always comes back." Enj was disappointed with that answer. He supposed he should wait for R to tell him himself.

They dropped the subject. The friends drank some more and polished off the whole bag of marshmallows, some of which were all over the ground due to trying to throw them into each other's mouths. They were starting to lose steam as all the alcohol and sun started to kick in.

"Enj, someday I'm gonna make that Combeferre marry me," Courf said, barely awake.

"Not if he makes you marry him first," Enj chuckled with his eyes closed. They lay on the ground with their heads next to each other and their feet facing in opposite directions. 

"When you going to admit you have a crush on Grantaire?" Courf asked, drifting off.

"Someday," Enj said with a smile as he fell asleep.

  
  


10 years ago:

Enj was lying in his bed in his bedroom at Mémé's house. He had so much on his mind. Her funeral was tomorrow. His head was swimming with times he had to remember, what paperwork to bring. He told Courf he wasn't going to be coming back to their shared dorm room tonight. He just needed some time alone. 

He hated how quiet the house was. She wasn't downstairs, clanging pots together as she washed the dishes. She wasn't listening to the radio in her room. She was gone. A sudden heart attack in her sleep. Enj was sort of relieved he found her the next morning, but at the same time he knew it was a moment he would never forget. As a wave of memories flooded his mind, the tears started again. He covered his eyes with both hands, helpless against the tide of emotion. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket.  _ What now? _ he thought, a little annoyed, but happy to be pulled out of himself for just a second. It was a text from Grantaire? He hadn't heard from him in months. One day R seemingly disappeared off the map. No one knew where he went, except for Eponine, but she was extremely tightlipped about his whereabouts. She could only assure Enj and their friends that he was alive, that something had happened at home and that he was probably drunk.

The message read: _ "Hey, I know it's been awhile. I heard about your grandma. I'm sorry. Are you ok?" _ Enj thought for a moment. He was a little angry that this was how R decided to reenter his life.

_ "No," _ Enj typed back and sent. He wasn't in the mood to carry on a conversation. He put his phone down and began rubbing his head again. He had such a headache. 

He wasn't sure how long it was, but after some time, he heard the doorbell ring.  _ Who the fuck could that be at 8 at night? _ He waited a minute and hoped they would go away. It rang again. He wiped his face and decided that he should probably go answer it. He made his way downstairs as it rang a third time. He swung open the door, ready to give whoever it was a lecture. It was Grantaire. He was standing on the porch with a pizza in his arms.

"R? What are you doing here?" Enj asked, confused.

"I brought you a pizza. I figured you probably didn't eat," R answered, trying to hand the pizza to Enj. He was right. "I get if you want to be alone, but I just thought you could use some food."

"I did want some alone time, but you can come in. You came all this way from...wherever," Enj said, opening the door. R came in and set the pizza on the dining room table. He wanted to give Enj a hug, but figured he better wait and read the situation first. Enj sat down in one of the middle seats and put his head in his hands. R patted him on the back and then walked passed him to the kitchen. He knew where the plates were, the same place they'd been for years. He knew where most of the things in this kitchen were kept after being here for so many dinners. Mémé had him over at least every few weeks after that initial dinner. She said it was "just to make sure he ate." He owed it to her grandson to do the same. R grabbed the plates and a spatula and went back to the dining room. Enj's head was on the table now and he was quietly sobbing. 

"I got us some plates," R said, putting the plates on the table. He went to sit in the chair at the end of the table facing the kitchen and waited for Enj. After a few minutes, Enj picked his head up. He saw R sitting quietly with his hands in his lap and his head down.

"Let's eat," Enj said. They ate in silence. R cleared the table and put the rest of the pizza in the fridge for leftovers. Then he sat back down at the table next to Enj. 

"This is probably the last meal we're going to have here," Enj said suddenly.

"Oh?" R said, but he didn't want to push. 

"My Mémé's will left the house to my mother. She was going to change it, but…" Enj explained.

"I'm sorry," R said, not really knowing what to say.

"I was told I could take whatever I wanted because my mother just wants to clean it out and sell it. I'm going get a storage unit and take whatever I can," Enj said, sniffling. R didn't respond. "Thank you for being here. She really cared about you. You were like another grandson after a while," Enj explained, looking at his feet and sniffling again. R grabbed a tissue box and put it in front of Enj. Enj took a tissue and wiped his nose, then held onto it. Enj could spend the rest of the school year in the dorms, but beyond that he hadn’t figured his living situation out yet.

"She was a special lady. She was probably one of the kindest people I ever met," R tried to comfort him.

"She missed you. She'd ask about you all the time," Enj said, wiping his nose again.

"I had...family issues. I'm sorry I wasn't here," R said, ashamed, but felt it wasn't the time to talk about this.

"Well, I guess you're here now," Enj said as he lifted his head to look at R for the first time since R arrived. His normally pale cheeks were red and tear stained. 

"Yeah. I'm here," R said, looking at Enj. They both looked away and sat quietly for a while. Enj explained the plans for tomorrow. He asked if R wanted to ride with him. R agreed to. Enj wished him goodnight and R went home. He didn't realize he needed company. He didn't realize he wanted company, especially from R. He fell into an uneasy sleep.

The next day, R showed up in a suit that was slightly too big for him, probably a hand me down or thrift store purchase. He rode with Enj to the church, sat next to him, and then went with him to the cemetery, only talking when Enj talked to him. He was a quiet and respectful companion that Enj needed. Enj's parents refused to acknowledge their son the entire time and gave R dirty looks. R gave them right back, unbeknownst to Enj. His parents might have assumed the pair were together except for the fact that they never shared even the smallest look with each other. Every so often, R would silently hand him a tissue or pat him on the back. Enj was glad R came back when he did. 

After the funeral, Enj decided to ask if R wanted to reconnect. R had a lot of big ideas for projects he wanted to work on. Enj was happy for distraction as he moved all of his grandmother's furniture and belongings into storage and he was happy to start thinking about lives other than his own again. He was excited to work with R again.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally some action, god damn.

At long last, it was finally opening night for The ABC Cafe. Everyone was very nervous, but also extremely excited. Enjolras showed up early. He was wearing what had become his signature look, his favorite red blazer over a black t-shirt with black jeans. He wanted to make sure everything was perfect. He knew everyone would be there soon, but he wanted one minute to himself. He walked into the cafe, no,  _ their  _ cafe, and let out a sigh. Years of preparation had finally paid off. He took one last look around at all the empty chairs and empty tables when he heard the first car pull up. 

Courf and Combeferre waved at Enjolras excitedly as he stepped outside to greet them. Courf ran up to give him a giant hug. While in the embrace, Courf whispered to Enjolras, "We did it!" 

Enjolras squeezed him back and said, "Yes we did," with relief in his voice. The other Amis began to arrive. Joly, Bossuet, Musichetta in one car, Bahorel and Feuilly in another. Jehan drove themself. Grantaire caught a ride with Eponine and Gavorche. Everyone was wearing semi-formal outfits, even Grantaire, who had on a professional looking forest green vest over a white button up with black skinny jeans. They all gathered in front of the building and chatted. Enjolras called their attention to reveal the sign on the front of the building that had been covered with a tarp. Only Enj knew what the sign looked like. 

"I was going to wait for Marius and Cosette, but it seems they're running late. Thank you everyone for all your hard work. We did it!" Enj said as a roar of cheers filled the air. He waited for the din to die down and continued, "It is with great pleasure I unveil the new sign for  _ our _ cafe!" With that, Enjolras pulled the rope to reveal a coffee cup shaped sign with the words "ABC Cafe" written on it in Didot font. They were all excitedly cheering except for Grantaire, who was staring with his mouth agape. It was the design he had made for the flyer for the fundraiser. R felt like he could cry. He looked at Enjolras who smiled at him. R made a face filled with both happiness and confusion. Enj smiled and pointed up at the sign and gave him a thumbs up. R broke eye contact with him. He didn't know how to react to not only earning Enjolras's thumbs up, but somehow his approval. 

Everyone rushed inside to get prepped for the big opening. R remained outside, staring at the sign, tears in his eyes. How could he ever repay Enj? He realized he had stood there like a weirdo and wondered what Enj must have thought of him. He did such a nice thing for him and he just stood there? He decided he needed to pull Enj aside to tell him how much this meant to him. He joined everyone inside.

There was a whirlwind of energy in the dining area as tables were being wiped down, decorations adjusted to perfection, and fresh pots of coffee being made. It was all hands on deck. Some of them went to the second floor to make sure everything was ready, some made sure the bathrooms were clean. Grantaire reported to the kitchen. He had pre-made some cookies, scones, and cupcakes for the event and Courf was helping him put them into the display cases. 

"What did you think of the big reveal, R?" Courf asked, making conversation as they worked.

"Honestly, I was not expecting that. It's an honor," R said, loading the last of the cupcakes onto the shelf. 

"Someone must have been  _ very  _ impressed with your work," Courf said with a wink. 

"Um, yeah I guess," R answered back with a confused look. Courf skittered away to his next task without any explanation, leaving R to wonder what he was getting at. 

"Bruh, look out!" Rel shouted at R as he came through carrying a chair over his head. 

Feuilly followed behind him with a chair as well. "Hey R, can you help us get the extra chairs up to the second floor?" Feuilly said as he walked past. R obliged. With three of them working, they only needed to make a few trips each. 

"R, me and Feuilly were talking. After all this, you should come on vacation with us," Bahorel said as they finished.

"Sure, where are you guys going?" R asked.

"Feuilly was thinking Poland," Rel said. 

Feuilly laughed, "This isn't a serious plan yet. I've just read a lot about Polish history lately and thought it might be fun."

"Yeah, and Polish chicks are hot," Bahorel laughed. 

"Don't be sexist, Rel. Besides, R never told us if he was bi or not," Feuilly responded, not unkindly. 

"What?" R said, shocked. 

"Oh no, Feuilly, R likes chicks, too," Rel said, reassuring. R was very confused. Having never mentioned his sexuality to anyone, he wondered what led them to this conclusion. 

"Oh, sorry R. I know you had a thing for," Feuilly leaned close and whispered, "you know who, but I wasn't sure if you liked women also. Sorry if I assumed," he explained.

"Nah man, he likes chicks  _ and Enj," _ Rel said loudly. R was mortified. He looked around to see who was up there. Thankfully it was only the three of them.

"Who told you guys this?" R whispered both frantically and suspiciously. 

"Oh, I just thought because, you know, all that  _ tension _ at the meetings," Feuilly whispered. 

R's jaw once again fell open. He shushed him. "Don't talk about this anymore, please," R pleaded with them.

"We're sorry, R. I won't say anything," Feuilly said. With that he and Bahorel started to walk away. 

"So what, no Poland?" Rel asked.

"We'll talk about that later, come on," Feuilly said as they moved towards the ramp.

"Didn't you and Enj make out once when you guys were drunk?" Rel joked as they walked out of sight. R could hear Feuilly telling Rel to shut up. R was in full on panic mode. He could trust Feuilly to not say anything, but Rel had a big, usually well meaning, mouth. He didn't have time to worry about this. He waited to make sure Feuilly and Rel were gone and made his way down to the first floor. 

Everyone was just about finished when R got there, just in time. It was 5pm now and Enj flipped the sign on the door to open. He hoped that all the mailings and Facebook invites would work and people would actually show up. They didn't have to wait long. There were already cars waiting in the parking lot. Within a few minutes, there was a line at the register. Eponine and Combeferre were making drinks as fast as they could. Enj was circulating, greeting guests and directing them. R was helping serve the desserts as orders came in. 

It was all going smoothly until Jehan recognized a familiar face. They rushed over. "Outside. NOW!" Jehan said as they grabbed his arm. It was Montparnasse. Jehan had not seen him since the incident at the fundraiser and they were not happy to be seeing him again now.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Jehan asked angrily, once they both made it to the parking lot. 

"I was on the mailing list," Montparnasse answered.

"Well, we will remedy that. Now go!" Jehan was furious.

"Jehan, please, I just want to apologize," Montparnasse started.

"For what?" Jehan asked with venom in their voice.

"For everything. The story. The fundraiser," Montparnasse said, unable to make eye contact.

"Well, you should be," Jehan said, folding their arms. 

"Look, I fucked up. I don't hang out with that asshole anymore. I didn't know he was like that. After we left, I finished what your friend started and kicked his ass as well," Montparnasse said sincerely. Jehan didn't answer. They refused to look at him.

"I read the article you wrote. It was amazing. Much better than mine," Montparnasse continued. "You're an amazing writer and I'm very sorry I tried to steal your story."

"Why did you do it? I trusted you," Jehan asked after a moment of silence.

"I needed the money? I don't know. I don't know why I do the things I do. But I will say I'm very sorry I tried to undercut you. Mostly I'm sorry I hurt you. I thought we had something special and I'm a dumbass. I fucked up," Montparnasse said, hoping to catch Jehan's eyes. 

"You're right. You're a dumbass," Jehan answered. Montparnasse laughed. The corner of Jehan's mouth curled up very slightly.

"Please give me one more chance?" Montparnasse asked.

"If you're really sincere, you can start by buying some coffee," Jehan answered with a sigh.

"Really?" Montparnasse asked hopefully.

"Not  _ for me. _ I'm running a business here. Go in and spend some money," Jehan said, still trying not to smile.

"Absolutely," Montparnasse said, running back into the cafe. Jehan looked to see R standing in the window watching. They motioned to R everything was ok as they walked back in. R nodded. 

It was around 7:30pm when a black car pulled up. Out jumped Marius and Cosette, followed by Cosette's father, Mayor Fauchelevent. Enjolras's face went from irritation from seeing how late Marius was again, to joy upon seeing the Mayor. The crowd of people inside the cafe began talking excitedly as the trio walked in. Several people approached the Mayor to ask questions, which he kindly brushed aside to talk to Enjolras. 

"Mr. Mayor, thank you so much for coming! This is so unexpected," Enj said as he shook the mayor's hand. 

"A pleasure. I could wait to see what my Cosette's friends did with this place. I apologize you had to take over hosting for Marius. We had another engagement," Mayor Fauchelevent explained. 

_ Hosting for Marius?!?  _ Enj thought, but he regained his composure quickly. "Yes, Marius!" Enj said as he called to Marius over the Mayor's shoulder. "Marius, your people await," Enj said, putting his hand down on Marius's shoulder as he squeezed hard.

"Right...thank you Enjolras for taking over for me," Marius said nervously.

"No trouble at all, my friend," Enjolras said through his teeth. "Mayor Fauchelevent, please make yourself at home. Marius, the floor is yours." With that, Enjolras walked briskly to the kitchen. R was standing at the sink, having finished some dishes.

"Oh, hey. I didn't know anyone was in here," Enj said as he saw R. He walked out the door in the back of the kitchen to go outside for some air. R watched him and followed him. When R got outside he saw Enj with his arms folded, staring at the dumpster.

"You ok?" R asked, approaching him.

"Yeah, it's nothing," Enj said, sullenly.

"It doesn't seem like nothing," R responded. 

Enj sighed. "It's just Marius. We all did all this work and he's been off with his new girlfriend the whole time and now he's taking credit."

"What? Marius probably wouldn't have known the address to this place if the Mayor didn't bring him here," R said, indignantly. "Well, not that I'm any better.”

"Yes you are. You may have fallen off the trail a few times, but at least you were fucking here!" Enj exclaimed, facing R. The sudden volume shift startled R.

"Yeah, but you did most of the work. Honestly, I was waiting for a second to talk to you. I wanted to thank you for using my logo as the official sign for the cafe," R said after he recovered.

"You earned it. It was a great design," Enj said, now making eye contact with R.

"Well, I'm honored," R said, sincerely.

"Well, you put in the work, unlike Marius, the fucking hack," Enj said, angrily. He didn't realize he was holding all this anger until this moment. 

"But no one worked as hard as you, Enj," Grantaire said, getting angry for Enj. "You put your heart and soul into this place. You gave up sleep and your job for this. Marius has never done shit for this place. I can't believe the audacity…"

"R…" Enj stared at R, surprised he was ranting on his behalf.

"I'm not finished. When everyone else gave up, you never did. You met with the Mayor, you dealt with that jackass inspector," Grantaire kept talking.

"Grantaire...I…" Enj was at a loss for words. He couldn't take his eyes off of R. There was a fire in R now that he hadn't seen for years, since high school even.

"Enj, I just can't believe that schmuck is taking credit for this. After I pushed this whole project on you and you made this work, with no help from me and he thinks he can waltz in here…" Grantaire was silenced as Enj grabbed his shirt and pulled him, kissing on the lips. Enj felt R stop, mid-word and collapse into his hold. He held for just a second, just long enough to process how soft R's lips were, which surprised him. As he let go and opened his eyes he saw R still frozen for a second, lips puckered. He let go of R and pulled back, embarrassed.

"Enj…" R said after a brief moment to compose himself.

"We better get back inside," Enj said, red in the face.

"Yeah, they're, um, probably looking for us," R said, still reeling.  _ That was definitely worth waiting for, _ R thought. Enj hurried back inside without another word. R waited a second, thinking that if people saw them come back in together, they might get suspicious. In the few moments outside alone, R gushed and did a mental happy dance. What did this mean? He thought happily of the possibilities. Maybe this was going to turn into something? Then he thought better of getting his hopes up. Enj was in a vulnerable mood. He shouldn't take advantage. But Enj did kiss him first.  _ Oh my god _ ,  _ Enjolras KISSED me! _ R thought. He decided to be grateful for what he had and not to get too excited as he walked back into the cafe. After all, he still had to face the people awaiting him inside.

Enj kept his distance from both Marius and Grantaire for the rest of the night. He was too mad at one and too embarrassed at the other and for some reason it was the opposite of how that usually worked. The Mayor thanked Enjolras again for being a good citizen and mentioned the possibility of talking again in the future, which made Enj hopeful. He left with Cosette and explained to Marius they didn't want to get in the way of all his "important work." 

As the cafe cleared out, Enjolras took great pride in explaining to Marius that his important work involved mopping and toilet scrubbing. Marius conceded with an embarrassed smile. Enj avoided R for the rest of the evening, feeling foolish for what he thought was taking advantage of R. He thought to himself about how he had assumed his feelings for R died years ago. Something about R showing up and being the person he used to be must have rustled up some old dust. He hoped R would forgive him for being so impulsive, but that conversation should wait until all these _weird_ _feelings_ Enj was having settled down a little. 

Everyone was so proud of their first, successful night as cafe owners. Starting next week, they would start having their meetings in the room on the second floor. They had so much to look forward to and so much hope in their hearts for the future.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> awkward discussions. so many awkward discussions. Bachelor party next chapter

"Hey, Jehan, I'm back," Enj said as he entered the cafe. Jehan was working behind the counter and was closing out the cash register for the night.

"Long time, no see," they joked. It had only been four hours. The schedule they figured out had Enjolras working the morning shift from 11am-4pm and Jehan would work 4pm-9pm on Mondays and Wednesdays through Friday. On Tuesday, they would close the cafe at 8pm so they could hold their meetings and on weekends the other Amis would alternate. Grantaire would come in during the night shift and prepare cookie trays and doughnuts that could be put in the oven in the morning, and on weekends he would make cakes and pies. This worked out for a few reasons: Grantaire could bake and help the cafe without dealing with the customers, which made him nervous. The other reason being that Enjolras could easily avoid Grantaire, whom he awkwardly kissed on opening night and had been trying to hide from ever since. He  _ wanted _ to talk to R, but he wasn't sure how to bring the subject up without bringing up, what he thought, was an overstep of personal boundaries. 

This plan had been working for almost two weeks, only seeing each other at the first meeting they had in their brand new meeting place on the second floor of their new cafe. Today, though, was Tuesday and it was time for their second meeting.

"Ferre and Courf are already upstairs and they're waiting to talk to you," Jehan said to Enjolras as they took the cash drawer through the kitchen door and back to the office before Enj could respond.

_ Alright then,  _ Enj thought as he walked up the ramp to the second floor where he saw Combeferre and Courfeyrac setting up. The meeting room was a decent size. Definitely bigger than the back room of the library, but not so large you could lose yourself. Along the wall coming up the ramp was a corkboard for community use so that other groups could sign up to use the space free of charge or put up flyers for different events or things people were selling. To the opposite side, were bookshelves with take-one leave-one books and old cards and board games that anyone was free to play. Along the back wall was a white board they salvaged from an old school that had shut its doors. There was even a string you could pull down and see a map of the world, although the map was from what seemed like centuries ago. They were saving up for a projector so they could hook up their various devices, but that would have to wait. 

Ferre was writing topics down on the board while Courf was pushing some tables together. He looked up when he heard Enj come up the ramp.

"There you are!" Courf said with a smile, though he looked nervous for some reason. Ferre turned around quickly and dropped his marker, also looking very anxious.

"What's up?" Enj asked as he walked towards his friends.

"Ferre has to ask you something. I'm gonna see if Jehan needs help bringing up the snacks," Courf said as he ran down the ramp.

"Thanks a lot, darling!" Ferre shouted sarcastically at his fiancé. He turned to Enj, unable to make eye contact.

"What's going on, Ferre? Everything ok?" Enj asked, concerned.

"Yeah, um...it's just...and say no if you want…" Ferre started to say, but kept stammering. Enj looked at him, starting to get very worried. Ferre continued, "Will you be… my best man?"

Enjolras was not expecting the question, but was incredibly excited. He wrapped his arms around Ferre and gave him a tight squeeze. "Of course, Ferre! I'm so honored you asked me!" he said, his smile beaming from ear to ear.

"Really?" Ferre said, suddenly relieved.

"Yes, Ferre, you're one of my best friends! I'm so excited for you and Courf!" Enj realized how tight he was holding Ferre and released him. 

"I was just worried, you know, because we just got done with all the work on the cafe and you said you were looking forward to having nothing to do for awhile and…" Ferre trailed off.

"This is different. I swear, I'm so excited," Enj tried to reassure him. Just then Courf and Jehan came up the ramp wheeling a snack cart. 

"He said yes," Ferre said, his voice finally returning to its normal level of calm.

"Woooooo!" Courf shouted as he ran over and almost tackled Enjolras as he embraced him. "I'm gonna ask mine later. This is going to be amazing!" Courf let Enj go as they all heard the bell on the door ring downstairs, meaning the other Amis were arriving. 

Everyone took a seat and all were in attendance with the exception of Grantaire, which made Enj both nervous and a little bit relieved. He started the meeting by talking about how successful the cafe was doing and how one of the local high schools had already had their GSA Club sign up to use the meeting room tomorrow night. He was about to bring up the Amis’ annual Thanksgiving food drive, when R came up the ramp. Enj froze.

"Sorry, I'm late. I noticed we were almost out of chocolate chips last night and I almost forgot to run to the store," R explained as he took a seat at the very end of the table. Everyone welcomed him. R then locked eyes with Enj who had yet to move. "Sorry, Enj," R said, looking directly at him.

Enj shook it off. "That's fine. Just remember to put your receipt in the office," Enj said and then continued. The Amis didn't believe in Thanksgiving in the traditional sense because they didn't agree with its colonizer origins. They did however, always organize a food and clothing drive for the local homeless shelter as they prepared for the harsher temperatures and the increase in foot traffic that often came with changes in weather since people could no longer safely stay out of the shelters. 

The meeting was a success, with lots of good ideas getting tossed around. Grantaire stayed mostly silent and seemed too distracted to chime in this time, which Enj was grateful for, until the very end.

"Why don't we do one of those Friendsgivings?" R asked.

"What do you mean?" Enj questioned, understanding he had to acknowledge him to keep up appearances.

"You know, we all get together as, like, a family of friends and have a big meal together?" R explained, not making eye contact this time.

"We eat together all the time," Enj answered, still a little confused.

"Not like pizza and snacks. Like a real feast where everyone brings something. I feel like even though we don't agree with "Thanksgiving", it might be fun for us to have a nice, home cooked meal together," R said, shifting his eyes up to focus on Enjolras. Enj couldn't take the stare down and looked down at the table.

"Um, yeah, we can discuss that next time," Enj said with none of his usual vigor or competitiveness towards R, which turned a few heads. Ferre and Courf exchanged questioning looks. "Ok, if there's nothing else, let's call it a night, shall we?" Enj said, suddenly. Everyone agreed and packed up to leave. 

Before he walked away, Courf flagged R down and called him over. Enj was still getting his things together and tried not to be too noisy while also eavesdropping.

"R, can I ask you something?" Courf started. A sudden realization hit Enjolras like a brick. 

"Sure, Courf, what's up?" R asked as he walked over.

"Will you be my best man?" Courf asked without hesitation and with tons of enthusiasm. Enjolras turned around to watch what he saw as his own doom in progress. R was silent for a second as he made a face like he was thinking. For some reason he turned to look at Enj, whose blood had all drained into his feet, which R didn't know how to interpret.

"Of course, man!" R answered as he turned back to Courf who was staring at him hopefully. 

"YES!" Courf said as he made a fist and pulled his arm down toward himself. He looked back at R, who seemed like he could tear up and they both hugged. 

"This is such a big deal! Thank you, Courf! I promise I won't let you down," R said as he gave Courf a big squeeze around his neck. R was just slightly shorter than Courf, so the embrace tugged Courf down a little and almost knocked them both over.

"I know you won't, R! You're a great friend," Courf said as they let go and balanced themselves again. R looked around quickly to see what Enj thought, but noticed he slipped out. Good, so he could ask his question.

"Hey, Courf, do you think Enj has been acting different lately?" he asked.

"A little. He seems a little more distracted. I thought it was just his usual coming-down-after-we-achieve-something mood," Courf explained. He wasn't worried so much as he was confused.

"Why did you ask me and not him to be your best man?" R asked, a little afraid of what the answer would be. 

"Oh, because Ferre already asked and he said yes," Courf said with a huge smile.

"Oh…. _ OH…"  _ R responded, finally putting all the puzzle pieces together.

"Yeah,  _ oh,"  _ Courf said with a wink. 

_ They are trying to set us up _ , R thought happily.  _ But they don't know what happened on opening night,  _ R remembered, bursting his own bubble.  _ Wait...is that why Enj was so upset? He thinks the whole thing was a mistake. _ R sighed.

"Where did you go?" Courf asked as he watched R run through a whole gambit of emotions.

"Nowhere, I just...do you think it will work?" R asked, already believing he knew the answer based on the information only he and Enjolras knew.

"I don't know. Maybe. But you will have to spend a lot of time together. Especially since you guys will be in charge of the  _ Bachelor Party _ ." Courf said the last part as he moved his eyebrows up and down. R laughed.

"I suppose so." R was not as hopeful as Courf had hoped he would be.

"Unless you guys are fighting or something?" Courf asked trying to understand the situation.

"No, no...that's not it." R waved his hands to wipe the idea away.

"Oh good, then your two are just being regular, old awkward together," Courf laughed.

"Yeah," R said, smiling. This will at least give us a chance to talk. That chance would happen a lot sooner than he thought.

Enjolras snuck away while Courf and R were still talking. He fully understood that if he and R were both in the wedding party, not only would they have to work together, but they were probably going to have to talk. He was still so embarrassed about his behavior the night of the opening, but he tried to put that all in the back of his mind so he could focus on other things. He didn't want what he had done to get in the way of helping his friends celebrate that most important day of their lives. He still wondered why he did it. Why did he kiss Grantaire? He buried those feelings a long time ago when R cut everyone out of his life and disappeared. But something must have changed. He was distracted by his thoughts the entirety of his shift the next morning. Around 3:30, his phone buzzed.

Jehan: _ Enj, I'm so sorry. My car stalled out and I'm probably going to be late for my shift. _

Enj: _ Are you ok? Should be fine. Slow day so far. _

Jehan:  _ I'm fine. Never made it out of my parking spot. Keep you updated. Thanks. _

Enj:  _ np  _

Enj figured everything was going to be alright. He used to work 8 hr days every day when he worked as a teacher. Everything was fine until an hour later when R walked in. 

"Oh...hey Enj," R said, confused.  _ Fuck. _ Enj had forgotten that R came in to work in the kitchen at night. 

"Hi. Jehan had car trouble, so I'm filling in," Enj answered awkwardly. Then he realized he didn't have to explain himself to R. All the Amis worked there and he definitely had a right to be here and why was he so anxious all of a sudden?

"They ok?" R asked.

"Yeah, they're at their apartment still," Enj replied looking down at his feet.  _ What am I, twelve?  _ he thought.

"Oh. Cool." R walked back into the kitchen to start his work. 

_ Smooth Enj,  _ Enj thought as he chastised himself further. 

All of these distractions had made everyone very forgetful. So forgetful, that when some twenty or more teenagers walked into the cafe, Enj became extremely overwhelmed at the register very quickly. They had all forgotten that the high school's GSA meeting was scheduled for that night. Enj took orders as fast as he could and was excited to see all these younger people, all of various types of gender expression and sexualities, able to meet in the cafe he and his friends had worked so hard for. It was a way to pay it forward and help queer kids, like they were once, find a place to call their own. However, although this was Enj's dream come true, he very soon had too much to handle. 

R must have heard all the noise in the dining room, because he rushed out of the kitchen, still in a flour filled apron. "You take orders, I'll do drinks," R said, taking order slips and getting right to work. The two of them worked as fast as they could and the group thankfully seemed to be understanding, as younger people often are compared to older generations. Enj had hoped that millennials, like him and his friends, could find an understanding with generations younger than them to take on the boomers of the world, but that would remain to be seen. 

They made their way through the orders in a decent amount of time and Enj was able to go upstairs to show them where the markers for the board were, the wi-fi password, and tried to be accommodating in any way he could. He came back down to R who was rinsing off measuring cups and spoons they used to prepare the drinks. Enj sank into one of the chairs and tried to catch his breath.

"You did good," R said afterwhile.

"Thanks, you too," Enj replied, forgetting all the awkwardness of before. R came over to the table to sit with him.

"We have to talk," R said after a minute. 

_ Here we go, _ Enj thought. "I suppose we do," he answered, waiting for the hammer to come down.

"So, about the bachelor party. I don't think Courf and Ferre are 'strip club and booze' type people, especially since I don't think they have interest in looking at anyone but each other if I'm honest," R began. Enj was taken aback. 

"That's what you wanted to talk about?" he asked, flabbergasted.

"Did you have something else in mind?" R raised an eyebrow. He knew what he wanted to talk about, but he didn't think Enj was ready.

"Nope. Continue." Enj relaxed his shoulders, just now realizing how tight they had been.

"I was thinking something simple, like a bowling party or a gaming party. Something fun, but a little competitive, because they're kind of cute when they argue," R said with a smile. Enj laughed. 

"True. That's something to think about," Enj said, as he looked up at R.  _ That smile, _ he thought. Then he let the thought drop out of his mind as he heard the bell on the door ring and he prayed it wasn't more customers. Thankfully, it was Jehan with bags in their hands.

"Sorry, you didn't answer your phone, but I'm here now. I brought some lo mein and General Tso chicken as a peace offering," Jehan said as they put down the bags. "Here's your wonton soup, R," they said as they unpacked. R thanked them.

"Oh, thanks. You didn't have to. How's the car? Wait, how did you know to bring R soup?" Enj asked in rapid fire succession.

"One, yes I did because I forgot how crazy tonight was going to be. Two, towed, I got a ride. And three, despite the fact that R always wants soup, I texted to see if I could bring you two anything for dinner because I knew you didn't eat," Jehan answered while handing Enj a pint of lo mein and a container of chicken on top of white rice.

"Mmmhmm," R said as he slurped the soup happily.

"How did you know what I like? And who gave you a ride?" Enj said, realizing just now how hungry he was.

"R told me. Well, he guessed, based on what you used to order," Jehan answered, finally sitting themself down to join their friends.

"Oh." Enj looked at R, who looked like he was in heaven, with a whole quart of wonton soup to himself. "Ok, but who drove you?" 

"Mmmjfiffjf," Jehan answered in a low voice and with a mouth full of rice.

"What was that?" Enj asked again for clarification, thinking they couldn't have said what he thought they said. 

"Montparnasse…" Jehan said, staring into their rice.

"JEHAN!" Enj shouted, shocked. R shook his head.

"I forgave him just enough for him to give me a ride and buy us dinner," Jehan said with puppy dog eyes.

"He bought this? Jehan Prouvaire, I am surprised at you!" Enj was unable to compose himself.

"Uh oh. Full name...he doesn't even do that with me," R said to Jehan, trying to lighten the mood. They laughed. Enj glared at R.

"He owes us for almost ruining the fundraiser," Jehan explained.

"You and these bad boys, Jehan. You're gonna get hurt," Enj said, shaking his head.

"Then that's my choice. Besides, I used him this time. Also...um… I need a ride home," Jehan looked at their two friends. Enj sighed.

"I'll take you if you allow me to lecture you the whole ride," Enj said, half joking.

"I can text Ep to see if she'll drop you off when she picks me up?" R offered.

"Thanks R, but I'll ride home with my father," Jehan said pointing to Enj with their thumb. "I don't want to put Eponine out, besides, I'm due for a lecture." Enj and R laughed.

"I'm just worried about you," Enj said, putting his fork down. "I'm gonna go check on our guests. Be right back." 

After Enj left, Jehan whispered to R, "Is he talking to you again?"

"Yeah, but just small talk. I was just getting him to talk to me about the bachelor party when you came," R explained.

"Sorry," Jehan answered.

"It's fine. At least it's something. We have something more serious to talk about, but I'm sure he's avoiding it," R said, sullenly.

"Serious? Are you fighting again?" Jehan's concern was growing.

"No, nothing like that. Maybe the opposite? It's complicated." R didn't know how to explain it without giving everything away and he definitely wanted to talk to Enj first.

"The opposite, huh? Like 'making baked goods' opposite or 'purple flowers' opposite?" Jehan asked, slyly. R blushed. "Uh huh," was all Jehan said. 

_ They're too smart for me,  _ R thought. "I'll let you know as soon as I find out," R said, laughing. Jehan laughed, too as Enjolras walked back.

"Alright, you can stop talking about me," Enj said as he sat down. R and Jehan looked at each other, wondering what he heard. "I'm joking," Enj said suspiciously. "Anyway, it's weird. It's like looking into an alternate universe of our younger selves up there. They're all so happy and talking about the future, laughing. It's so nice to see," Enj said, getting suddenly sentimental.

"We did it, Enj. This is what we worked for. They're all here. They're safe. We, as slightly older queers, have become a part of the great cycle," Jehan said, jokingly as they pretended to stare off into the distance. The three friends laughed. 

"But, seriously, I'm glad those young individuals are safe up there and I hope they know that the fight's not over. We will all stand together until every last one of them are just as safe. I'm willing to stake my life on it," Enj said, solemnly. They all agreed.

"Well, before this conversation gets any darker, I've got some cookies to prep," R said, getting up from the table and walking to the kitchen. Enj and Jehan finished their food. 

The group left and the three friends went to clean up after them. They had stacked all their cups and plates in a neat pile and left a thank you note. Enj pinned the card to the wall in the office so he could look at it every day. He and Jehan went home soon after that and left R to close up when he was done.

In the car, Enj didn't lecture. He merely asked Jehan to use caution. Jehan thanked Enj for his concern and reassured him they were going slow and they would be careful.

"But about you…" Jehan, ever the investigator, asked, "what happened between you and R?" 

"When? Nothing happened." Enj tried to play it cool.

"Uh huh. Then how come you just outright accepted his idea at the meeting? Why have you been so sketchy since the opening?" Jehan knew how to ask the hard questions. Enj considered for a minute.

"Nothing happened at the opening. And R's idea was nice. We all love to eat together," Enj explained. Jehan didn't buy it.

"So nothing happened when you two disappeared outside together for ten minutes?" Jehan pressed, but not harshly.

"You just notice everything, don't you?" Enj said, glancing over briefly to see Jehan's smug smile. He smiled, too.

"You don't have to tell me yet if you don't want to, but just know I've got your number, kid," Jehan said jokingly and made finger guns at Enj. Enj desperately wanted to tell someone, but not until he figured out why he did it and how he felt about it.

"What are you, from the ‘30s?" Enj and Jehan both laughed. "We just talked. It was nothing." This answer seemed to both satisfy and annoy Jehan.

They pulled up to Jehan's apartment and Jehan thanked him for the ride. "I'm gonna figure you out one day, Enjolras!" they said as they got out of the car, knowing full well they already had.

"I'm sure you will," Enj said, understanding Jehan probably already had. The two friends waved good night and Enj drove home, once again, in silence.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bachelor party. Tropes at a bowling alley

Grantaire knew that within the next couple of days, he was going to have to contact Enjolras. In fact, he very much wanted to, despite how awkward it might be. He would love to talk with Enj about their kiss, but he also wanted the opportunity for it to happen again, if Enj so desired. He knew Enj wasn’t ready judging by his avoidance, so he would respect that. It was imperative, though, that they get together as “Best Men” and discuss what kind of bachelor party they should throw for their friends. He decided he would wait a few days to see if they would run into each other at the cafe and then play it by ear, just as he was trying to do with his ukelele at that moment. He hadn’t played in awhile and it felt good to pick it back up again. His go to was usually the guitar, but he wanted to improve his skills. He was working hard on figuring out “Dearly Departed” by Marianas Trench, and he had almost figured out the chord progression when his phone buzzed. He grabbed for his phone on the nightstand while still holding the neck of the instrument in his right hand, but when he saw that it was a text from Enj, he put it down completely.

Enj:  _ Hey, we gotta start planning that party soon. What were your ideas again? _

R: _ I was thinking either something nice and simple at someone’s house or maybe bowling?? _

Enj: _ K. I’ll stay late at the cafe if you want to go over details.  _

_ Interesting, _ R thought. He texted back  _ “Sure,”  _ and that was that. He suddenly became very nervous. He couldn’t really focus on playing anymore now that his mind was going millions of miles an hour.  _ Will he want to talk about it? What if he wants to tell me he hated it? What if he didn’t hate it? _ R’s brain cycled through all the possibilities. By the time Eponine picked him up to take him to the cafe, he had worn himself out. She, being the amazing friend she always was, didn’t pry as she drove him to the cafe in silence.

When R got to the cafe, he found Enj sitting at one of the tables looking at his phone, waiting. 

“Hey,” Enj said, barely looking up. 

“Hey,” R said back as he took a seat. Enj put down his phone and grabbed some paper and a pen from his backpack. R was not surprised Enj was prepared. In fact, R was sure he didn’t need him at all.

“So we should probably discuss what day we should have the party first,” Enj said as he wrote the word “DATE” on the paper. 

_ Jumping right in I guess,  _ R thought. “Gotta be in the next two weeks. Their wedding is that first weekend in December right?” he asked.

“Mmmhmm,” Enj said, putting his pen to his lips as he thought. “Whatever we’re doing, it should be on a weekend night so that everyone can make it no matter who is working the cafe.” R nodded in agreement. “How about Saturday?” Enj asked.

“That is pretty soon, but they are really rushing this, huh?” R commented.

“Wouldn’t you? They’ve practically been married since high school, and that was before Ferre even knew they were dating,” Enj said with a chuckle. R laughed as well.

“I’m really leaning towards bowling. That way we don’t have to put anyone out at such short notice,” R suggested.

“Agreed,” Enj said, then added, “Do any of the places around here still do that Cosmic Bowling with all the lights and music?”

“There are a few. Give me a second.” R motioned with one finger up as he got out his phone. He searched the lanes in the area and when they did Cosmic Bowling and found two. “Bowling Hills does it on Friday nights,” he said, hesitantly.

“Ok, is that it?” Enj asked. He saw that R looked uncertain so he tried to glance at the phone. “It says Bowl-a-Rama has it on Saturday nights. That night is better for everyone.” R looked uncomfortable. “Is that ok? Is something wrong with that place?”

“No,” R said curtly. “No, that should be fine. Sorry, I was trying to remember if they had mozz sticks. You  _ know _ that’s Courf’s favorite,” R said, suddenly throwing on a smile. Enj could tell it wasn’t very genuine.

“Well, look at the website,” Enj said, trying to work past whatever R was going through.

“Oh, yup, they have them. Guess that’s the one,” R said, smiling again. 

“Ok...if you’re sure,” Enj replied suspiciously.  _ I’ll never figure you out, R, _ he thought. “Ok so Cosmic Bowling, next Saturday at Bowl-a-rama. I’ll call and make the reservation and see if we can get a good deal...I mean, unless you wanted to,” Enj said, trying to be accommodating. 

“Nah, you go ahead,” R said waving his hands.

“Ok, we done for now then?” Enj asked, putting his things away.

“I don’t know. Are we?” R looked at him hopefully. 

Enj looked down and sighed,“You want to talk about it, don’t you?”

“Yeah, kinda, if you want to,” R responded as he tried to read Enj’s face.

“Look, R, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have grabbed you, and it was just a crazy day and…” Enj began.

“Oh, so you’re apologizing,” R replied sadly.

“Well, yeah, I didn’t mean to act so foolishly, and after you were being so nice,” Enj continued, speaking quickly.

“Foolishly?” R could feel his heart disintegrate.

“No, R...not like that, but -” Enj attempted to save the situation. 

“What are we talking about?” said Jehan, suddenly appearing behind them with possibly the worst timing.

“Nothing, Jehan. Just the bachelor party,” R said to them with the same fake smile as before. “We were just finishing up, right Enj?”

Enj deflated and said, “Yeah, I think we’re done here.” He grabbed his backpack. “I am  _ so _ sorry, R,” he said as he walked out of the cafe with his head down.

“What was that about?” Jehan asked, completely unaware of what sort of damage and misunderstanding had just occurred. 

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” R got up from the table and went back into the kitchen and didn’t talk for the rest of the night.

The next day, Enjolras finally worked up the courage to text R. He knew he had to let him know the plans were confirmed, but he didn’t know what to say to him. Clearly, his apology wasn’t accepted. He never meant to hurt R with his actions and now he felt he had ruined all the repair to their friendship. How could he convince R that he wouldn’t let it happen again, especially since he had just figured out how much he would like it to? Since that night his mind was racing, trying to put together why he had done that. After so much soul searching, he realized that he still had feelings for R. Maybe he had never stopped and they were just buried under all of the anger and betrayal he had felt when R disappeared on him. Now though, he acted so impulsively, he wouldn’t be shocked if R never wanted to talk to him again. He decided to keep it simple.

_ “Hey, R. Plans are confirmed for Saturday. Comes with sheet pizzas, wings, and drinks. Unlimited games. Mozz sticks are extra, but we’ll make it happen,”  _ he texted and ended it with a smiley face to hopefully get R to forgive him.

_ “K.”  _ was all R wrote back. Enj knew he fucked up. 

He knew he probably shouldn’t, but he texted back, “ _ Are we still friends?”  _ The message was marked read a minute later, but no reply. He waited a long time. He had almost given up, when about an hour later R replied, “ _ Yeah. We’re still friends.” _

They didn’t text again except for discussing who was paying for what. R was at the meeting on Tuesday, but neither of them interacted. Neither knew what to say. They didn’t speak again until the day of the party.

Courf and Ferre showed up to Bowl-a-Rama just as Enjolras was also pulling in. Courf ran up to Enj and gave him a huge hug. He was wearing the feather boa and tiara from his birthday party. His shirt was tight as always, pink, and said “I’m getting married.” Enj realized there were probably not a lot of bachelor party t-shirts that fit Courf’s style and a lot of those types of items were targeted for brides. Ferre was in a t-shirt with a faux tuxedo on it and jeans, which was very casual for him. Enj himself, had just worn a plain t-shirt and black jeans and was hoping everyone else wasn’t going to dress up. 

As Enj was hugging Ferre, Eponine and Grantaire pulled up. Eponine had her hair in two, low pigtail braids and was wearing jean capris and floral t-shirt. R was wearing a My Chem shirt he most definitely had owned since high school and light blue jeans.  _ Good, he came, _ Enj thought. He didn’t want to think that R would miss something so important to his friends, but Enj was also afraid of what damage their argument had done. It didn’t seem to be bothering him as he got out of the car with a big smile and was almost tackled to the ground by Courf. As everyone was talking, R suddenly looked very frightened and was looking off into the distance. Everyone turned to look, but didn’t see anything. R brushed it off and told them it was nothing.

Jehan pulled up next. They were wearing neon purple sunglasses despite it being night time, a t-shirt that was white leopard print, but the spots were the same shade of purple, and white jeans. They got their own bowling bag out of the trunk and joined the group. 

Joly, Bossuet, and Musichetta walked up and were all in matching collared shirts and jeans. They each also bought their own bowling bags, which was not a surprise, considering Joly would probably rather die than wear alley shoes. They explained that they used to be on a team together and played as a part of a league. Jehan lowered their sunglasses, gave them an up and down look, then put their glasses back up. Everyone knew Jehan could be competitive, but it seemed that with one look, they had issued the throuple a challenge. Rel and Feuilly came still in the gym clothes and were ready to go. The only ones missing were Marius and Cosette, but no one was surprised they were late and headed inside. 

The lanes could only accommodate eight bowlers, so they divided into groups of five and six for the time being. They split up into teams and decided they could readjust when Marius and Cosette came. On one lane, it was Bossuet, Joly and Musichetta vs Eponine and Jehan, who had decided they only needed two of them to beat the other three. On the other lane, it was Courf, Ferre and Enj vs Bahorel, Feuilly and Grantaire. Bahorel wanted to put in weird names BaWHOREl and Fart for himself and Feuilly, but the group voted against it. 

Courf and Ferre were confident they could win easily over the other team, Enj was not so sure. Everyone who didn’t bring their own shoes or ball borrowed them from the alley. They were all settled when the lights turned off and the neon and black lights turned on. Everyone turned to look at Jehan, who was now glowing white and purple. They took their ball out of their bag and everyone realized that it matched their now luminescent shirt. The rest of them look at their outfits, which would only shine here and there. Grantaire’s shirt, which used to look like a boring old band t-shirt, now had a glowing, white wolf on it and his light blue jeans also lit up.

“You guys didn’t know about the lights?” R asked. Most of them shook their heads. Jehan however gave him a high five. Clearly, there was more than one competition going on tonight. 

Courf and Bahorel both threw double gutters their first time up. They both brushed it off well and fist bumped. Ferre and Feuilly did modestly, neither of them getting marks, but at least they put points on the board. Enj was nervous. He hadn’t bowled since he was little and they had had the bumpers up. He knew his friends wouldn’t make fun of him, but he was so used to excelling in front of them. He decided to wait to see what R did. Surely, R was no master bowler. He watched R take the approach. Enj got distracted by how bright R’s pants looked. He really hadn’t noticed until now that R’s jeans were kind of form fitting. It had just dawned on him that R went to the gym regularly and it appeared to be working out for him. The jeans were very flattering on him. 

Enj jumped out of his reverie as he saw R take the neon green ball he picked out into his left hand. In a series of what looked to be three choreographed steps, R moved down the lane with finesse. Everyone was floored by the grace of his movements. His left arm went from holding the ball to perfectly rolling it down the alley and ended above his head in a flourish. It was like watching a ballet. The pins crashed dramatically, but one, in the right corner, stayed standing. R walked back to everyone watching, looking disappointed. Everyone looked back at him, flabbergasted. 

“What was that?” Courf asked after a stunned moment.

“Oh, yeah. I leave the ten pin all the time. I usually miss my arrow by just a smidge,” R answered as he held up two fingers and almost put them together to signify closeness.

“No, he means the whole little dance you did up there,” Ferre jumped in, wondering himself.

“Oh, that? That’s just my approach. I used to bowl when I was younger. I was never very good and I was taught by my…it’s nothing.” R clammed up and walked up to take his second shot, which he made, getting the first mark of the night. He was greeted with high fives from everyone except Enjolras who was getting ready to take his shot. R watched him intently. He knew he was overthinking the whole thing. Enj held the ball with both hands. In an attempt to mimic Grantaire, he tried to make measured steps, but ended up at the foul line doing a little butt wiggle, which R was trying his best not to find endearing, and threw the ball straight into the gutter. He walked back embarrassed. He wasn’t used to failing in front of his friends. They just encouraged him to brush it off and try again. He did, only to get another gutter. Everyone gave him a high five anyway. The competitive side of him was bruised a little, but he started to loosen up a bit.

The next few rounds were uneventful on their lane. On the other lane however, Jehan had managed to get something called a “turkey”, which was three strikes in a row. The friend group seemed to be split between people who knew nothing about the game and people who at least at one point had played competitively. The food was brought out soon after and everyone took time to eat and listen to the music, which was a mix of 90s dance songs and some current ones, that was blaring overhead. Everyone got some drinks; the people driving and R, got non-alcoholic ones. They toasted to the happy couple, who were feeding each other mozz sticks. Marius and Cosette showed up during the meal. They were encouraged to go over to Courf and Ferre’s lane, because the other lane was highly competitive and Jehan would not stop glaring at them. Grantaire agreed to move over to the Enj, Courf and Ferre team so Marius and Cosette could be on the same team. 

Things were going smoothly and everyone who wasn’t doing well was at least having fun. “How’d you get so good at this?” Enj asked R once they had a moment to stand next to each other.

“I’m really not that good. And I told you, I used to bowl when I was younger,” R answered. “Bowling every week for a few months, you pick up some things,” he said, looking Enj in the eyes for the first time that night.

“Could you teach me a little? That is, if it’s ok with you,” Enj asked and then added to it very quickly. He wasn’t sure how he had got so bold, but he hoped R would take this as a sign of friendship.

“Um, yeah. I’ll go up with you,” R said. On Enj’s turn, he grabbed his ball, which was red when he picked it, but in the funky lights, looked pink, and waited. R came up to stand behind him. 

“Ok, so hold your ball in your dominant hand, the right in your case,” he said as he moved the Enj’s arm to cradle the ball. Enj was not expecting his touch, and he realized very quickly that he didn’t mind. “So once you get up there, you let the ball roll off your fingers at the line. Don’t throw it! And then your arm,” R continued as he grabbed Enj’s right arm and manipulated it over Enj’s head, which wasn’t easy considering the fact that R was shorter than him. “You reach it up as a follow through. The momentum helps guide the ball and give it some umpf.” As R said it, he let go of Enj’s arm, which for some reason he didn’t understand, made Enj sad. 

“How do I know where to throw it?” Enj asked once he gained his composure.

R looked around Enj, his head poking around his shoulder as he pointed with his right arm. “You see those little arrows on the ground? You want to aim your throw so that the ball goes over the second from the right. Here, you’re standing too far over,” R said as he placed his left hand in the middle of Enj’s back to direct him to move over two steps to the left. “And now you’re ready to take a shot.” R’s hand left Enj’s back and Enj could feel him back away, not realizing how close they had been standing. His back felt cold suddenly, almost lonely. He took his shot and tried to aim the ball like R had told him. It landed a little off center, but he knocked down seven pins. He turned around to see R applauding. He started to blush. He was thankful for the low lights so no one would notice.

He looked to see if anyone had seen him. Courf was sitting on Ferre’s lap and they were making out. Cosette and Marius had their backs turned and were eating. Feuilly and Bahorel were arm wrestling at one of the tables. The only one looking his way was Jehan from the other alley, who winked at him, which made him blush harder. Grantaire greeted him with a high five. He couldn’t tell, but he thought R might have been blushing a little, too.

Enj did a little bit better every shot, and everyone else bowled moderately well. The night was coming to a close, all the food was gone, and Courf and Ferre had disappeared into the bathroom about a half hour ago. The friends decided to start cleaning up and turning in the shoes and balls. Jehan had bowled every game in the high 200s and was excited to be receiving adulation. Although Enj never broke 100 himself, he felt like he won in a different way. He and R were happily chatting about his improvement, when Courf and Ferre came stumbling back to the group looking extremely disheveled. 

“You two have no shame, do you?” Jehan asked, laughing.

“Nope!” Courf said with a smile that showed that he was proud of everything he just participated in. Ferre only blushed. 

They all walked outside and said their goodbyes. Grantaire looked around a little frantically, before asking Eponine if he could spend the night, to which she graciously agreed. As R was getting in the car, Enj came over to say goodbye to him. He look at Eponine, who was watching them. 

“R, I just wanted to say, um….thank you for all your help planning this,” Enj said, a little nervously.

“No problem. Anytime,” R said as he waved at him. Enj waved back and scurried to his own car.

“Nice,” said Eponine, both sarcastically and encouragingly.

“Shut up,” said R, smiling to himself as they drove away.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of past emotional abuse, depression, stalking, alcohol abuse
> 
> Friendsgiving with the Amis. Happy Thanksgiving, celebrate responsibly and safely!

Grantaire returned home after spending a few nights at Eponine’s house. He wanted to make sure that he felt safe after the bachelor party, but he also had some work to do. The Amis had agreed to his Friendsgiving idea and he, of course, was in charge of making the desserts. He needed to come home and check what baking supplies he had or needed before heading to the grocery store. He would’ve felt better if he could go to the store with a friend, but Eponine had to work, so he was on his own. Everyone was at work, even Enj. He wasn’t exactly sure why he thought specifically of Enj, but it made him smile. The bachelor party was a success and R wasn’t exactly shy about flirting with him, although whether or not Enj even knew he was flirting remained to be seen. 

R needed more cloves, nutmeg and a few other basic items. He grabbed his wallet, made sure his bus pass was in it, and was on his way. As R did his shopping, he didn’t feel like he was in any immediate danger, but he felt increasingly paranoid. He finished up as quickly as he could and thought of where he could go where he wouldn’t be alone. He decided that since the cafe was only 5 blocks away and the whole walk was on the main road, that was his safest bet. He didn’t want to head back home just yet. 

R entered the cafe swiftly, causing a few of the patrons inside to turn their heads, as well as Enj, who was working behind the counter.

“Hey, Enj! I just was out for a walk and decided to stop by!” R said, alarmingly upbeat as he approached the counter. He had a grin on his face that seemed panicked and caused Enj to question the situation.

“Oh, hey Grantaire! Would you like some coffee?” Enj replied, mimicking R’s tone. 

R leaned forward and whispered “I think I’m being followed. Can I have the keys to the office?” and then continued by loudly announcing, “Sure! My usual please!”

Enj replied quietly, “Who is following you?” while stealthily handing him the keys and also announced, “Coming right up!”

R hastily ran into the back and hid himself in the office where he allowed himself to breathe for a few minutes. It was close to shift change so Enj waited until Jehan came to take over before he investigated further. Enj explained the situation to Jehan briefly and they encouraged him to check on R.

Enj knocked on the door, which was locked from the inside. “R, it’s me. Can I come in?”

R unlocked the door then went to sit back down. The office was small, only containing a desk with a computer, two chairs and some filing cabinets. Enj sat down in the other chair as R sat in silence.

“R, we’ve been friends for a long time and I have always respected your privacy, but I need you to explain what’s going on,” Enj said, gently, but firmly and waited.

R took a deep breath and said in a quiet voice, “It’s my dad.” 

“What?” Enj asked.

“My dad, He’s following me again,” R explained sadly, still not looking up at Enj.

“Again? I need some backstory here, R.” Enj was very confused. He thought this might be the time R finally opened up to him.

“I have an order of protection against my dad. He’s been abusive for most of my life. I left home suddenly and he didn’t like that, so he’s been following me around for years. I guess it’s common for abusers to not be able to let go of people they want control over,” R said solemnly.

“R, I had no idea! I mean, that was him that one night outside the library, right?” Enj said with sudden understanding.

“Yeah. I had been ‘in hiding’ for a while, but he had managed to find me then. I’ve been able to keep a low profile for a few years now, but it looks like he finally caught up with me again,” R answered. “I knew he might be at the bowling alley, since that’s the one he used to bowl at when I was younger, but I thought since it wasn’t a league night, we would get lucky,” R explained.

“Grantaire, I’m so sorry! I wish you would’ve told me you were uncomfortable going there. I definitely would have suggested somewhere else,” Enj said, feeling guilty.

“No, it’s ok. I didn’t say anything because it was the best offer and I wanted everyone to be happy.” R also didn’t want Enj to feel any guilt.

“But not at your emotional expense. No one would want that,” Enj said, attempting to comfort him. He paused for a minute, then continued, “How did you know he found you again?”

“I saw him standing outside. I had hoped he didn’t notice me, but he must have. I saw his car go by Eponine’s house a few times, waiting for me to come out. Usually after a few days, he gives up or I have to wait for him to drive off long enough to get out.” R looked defeated.

“So what do you do when he finds you?” Enj asked. “What do you think he wants from you?”

“Every time he found me, I would hide out for a while. Some times with Ep, sometimes with Courf and Ferre, sometimes random hotels, one time it was a sober house,” R explained. “I honestly feel like all he wants to do is intimidate me and isolate me. He just wants me to know he’s there and he _ could  _ find me. It’s just a fucking game to him. He knows he lost control over me and he can’t stand it, so it’s inserting himself in any way that he can.”

“That’s terrible, R. I’m at a loss for words. That must be so hard to deal with.” Enj felt horrible for R.

“It’s just exhausting. I always have to overthink things. I always have to make getaway plans and over analyse everything. It sucked because it made it hard to hold down jobs or see friends. I didn’t want him to be able to track me down so I disappeared sometimes.”

“That’s why you would disappear?” Enj asked as he was hit with clarity.

“Well, yeah. For one thing I didn’t want him to find me and for another, I didn’t want him bothering you all. I know how to handle him, but I couldn’t take the thought of knowing he was bothering one of you,” R said, both matter of factly and sadly.

“R, you should’ve told us. We’re your friends. We could’ve helped. We would’ve stood by you,” Enj explained.

“Even if he started following you around and harassing you and calling your work and all that? No, I couldn’t deal with the guilt,” R said, waving his hand and shaking his head.

“Of course we would have, we’re all like family. We would’ve helped however we could. We all care about you, I care about you!” Enj said, starting out strong, but then feeling a little embarrassed. He blushed, but thankfully R was looking at his feet.

“I was a mess. It sent me on a spiral. I felt like a poison or a cancer. I thought that anyone I got close to, I would just spread the disease of him all over them. And no offense, but my trust was shaken. I didn’t know who to talk to about this. Whether people would believe me or minimize what I was going through. I know that that was part of his plan, too. To separate me from everyone so I was an easier target. So I got depressed. When I got depressed, I got drunk. And you see how I get when I get drunk,” R said, with a small chuckle. Enj smiled a little too.

“I know how you get, R, but just because you annoyed the piss out of me, doesn’t mean I wanted you to suffer in silence,” Enj joked to try and lighten the mood, although he did feel guilty about all the times he was mad at R for not being around.

“I certainly wasn’t silent!” R said, this time with a hearty laugh.

“No, no you weren’t,” Enj laughed also. “But in all seriousness R, please let us help you. If you need someone to stay with you, you can call me,” Enj started to say, but then realizing how it must’ve sounded continued with, “or any of us! You could call any of us and we’ll be there. We outnumber him.” R was semi-relieved, but also embarrassed. All he could think to say was thank you. Then Enj asked, “If you have an order of protection, can’t you talk to the police about it?”

“It’s stupid. You have to be able to prove the person is around you in most cases or there has to be an incident for the police to do anything except say, ‘hey, don’t do that.’ It’s incredibly frustrating, humiliating, and a lot of people don’t take it seriously enough. That’s why I only ever told Eponine what was really going on. Courf and Ferre only found out after the library thing. I wanted this under lock and key, you know?” R explained.

“Understandable. That really sucks. I wish I had known about it, but I’m glad I do now so we can all help you through this,” Enj said. “Promise me that you will talk to our friends about this and reach out for help when you need it.”

“I will,” R said with a sigh. He still didn’t want to let everyone in or know who to let in for that matter, but Enjolras was sucked into this now. Perhaps he was someone he could feel safe with. Maybe, just maybe, he could let Enjolras in. “Can I ask you something, Enj?” he asked after a minute of consideration.

“Yes,” Enj said.

“Can I have a hug?” R asked nervously. He just needed to feel close to somebody, and although that someone was usually Enj in his mind, he was hoping Enj would be ok with it in person after all they’d been through.

“Of course, R!” Enj said as they both stood up and embraced one another, R’s forehead coming to rest against Enj’s shoulder. Enj had to lean down a bit, but it felt worth it. He knew R just really needed a friend, but something about having R in his arms at that moment felt right. He felt R collapse into him which made Enj want to squeeze him tighter. Without thinking, Enj gave R a tiny peck on his forehead and then laid his cheek into R’s soft, curly hair. They stood that way for a moment, Enj thinking about how he would deal with the consequences of the small kiss later. But R didn’t move when he did it or act weirded out, so maybe it was just fine. Either way, Enj wanted to hold onto this feeling for just a bit longer. Then he sadly felt R moving.

R pulled away from Enj a little to face him, but didn’t let go, He looked deep into Enj’s dark blue eyes and before he could stop himself, he bobbed up on his toes and kissed him. R had been thinking about their kiss in the alley since it happened and had desperately hoped to recreate it. He was never sure how Enj felt about it since they had never finished their conversation, but he had hoped the small smooch on R’s forehead was sort of a green light, otherwise this was about to get awkward.

Enj seemed surprised by the sudden kiss on the lips, but not upset. He leaned forward and kissed Grantaire back, this time a bit longer. His lips were still just as soft as he had remembered and for a moment in time, he felt lost in them. R was the first one to pull away. He looked up at Enj, cheeks flushed from both excitement and a little embarrassment and waited to see what Enj would say. Enj just smiled, looking down at his feet, also unsure of what to say or do. Before either of them could speak, there was a knock as the door. It was Jehan.

“Everything ok in there? Did you fall into the filing cabinet?” they joked through the door.

Both Enj and R both stammered, unsure what to say or do. Finally Enj blurted out, “Fine!” and then raised his arms up and shrugged his shoulders.

“Ok, when you’re done with whatever carnal acts you’re doing in there, I need more quarters,” Jehan shouted through the door and walked away.

“Um, so yeah, good talk. Pick this up later?” Grantaire said as they both tried to navigate out of this awkward situation.

“Yes. Later, I gotta get going,” Enj said, a little lost for words.

“I have to start prep for tomorrow,” R said. He waited for Enj to leave the small office as he was closest to the door, but Enj looked around him.

“I need to get Jehan their quarters first, so…” Enj explained.

“Oh, yeah,” R said as he grabbed his grocery bags and maneuvered around Enj into the kitchen. 

Enj grabbed the quarters, locked the office back up, and walked out shouting, “G’night!” to R without stopping. Enj handed Jehan the quarters and office keys and ran out quickly, trying to avoid eye contact, also shouting, “G’night,” at Jehan. 

Jehan waited approximately 20 seconds before they ran into the kitchen, cornered R, and gleefully shouted, “DISH!”

*****

It was Friendsgiving. The group decided to have the event the day after Thanksgiving, since they were all working at delivering all the coats, winter apparel, and food they had been collecting over the past few weeks to the local homeless shelter. There was always a high volume of people willing to volunteer to work at the shelters around this time of year, so they thought their efforts were best placed in the gathering of resources. They liked helping local shelters as opposed to nationwide branches like the Salvation Army for two reasons: one being that because it was a national organization, the Salvation Army always had plenty of funds as opposed to local places, which were often volunteer run and low on funds. The second reason being the Salvation Army’s atrocious policies toward LGBTQ+ people. 

The Amis that had families they usually celebrated with then had the rest of Thanksgiving to do so, that really being only Courf and Bahorel, and even they really only went for the food. Feuilly was an orphan and often tagged along with Bahorel, and Courfeyrac had always brought Ferre to his family’s holiday celebration, because they took joy in the tension it caused with Courf’s parents. The rest of them didn’t really celebrate, aside from Eponine, who tried to give Gavroche and Azelma the family memories they never had as younger people, and Grantaire usually tagged along for a free meal, which they decided to forego this year to celebrate with everyone. Jehan, Bossuet, and Joly were no longer in contact with their families due to either their families' lack of support or their criticisms of who they are as people. This was a nice change for all of them.

Enjolras had celebrated Thanksgiving and all holidays with his grandmother up until she passed away. Even though neither of them agreed with the history of the holiday, they enjoyed each other’s company immensely and Mémé enjoyed cooking with her Enj. The past few years, Enjolras had given up celebrating any sort of holiday, even his own birthday, choosing to focus on his work instead. It had been too hard to even think of going on as usual without her. Something about this year had changed his mind.

Friendsgiving would be special. The Amis had become a family of their own and were very excited that R had suggested it. They all decided to gather in the cafe’s upstairs room and they chose to close the cafe on that Thursday and Friday to celebrate. Grantaire supplied the desserts, which were brownies and pumpkin and apple pies. Courf and Ferre made chili, which wasn’t traditional, but was a favorite among the Amis. Bossuet nearly burnt the house down trying to fry a turkey, so they deferred to Jehan and he, Joly and Musichetta brought mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce instead. Jehan had brined the turkey since Wednesday and the skin looked crisp and delicious, and it was accompanied by homemade gravy. Feuilly brought yams and Bahorel brought stuffing. Enjolras was very nervous that no one would like what he cooked, so he put himself in charge of beverages and bought rolls from the store. Marius and Cosette showed up on time with green bean casserole, which Cosette and her father made together. Eponine, Gavroche and Azelma came with store bought cookies in the shape of turkeys, and Eponine apologized profusely, to which she was waved off because they knew she was very busy and they had enough food. 

Everyone gathered together and sat down. Enj plopped down next to Combeferre, not realizing he was directly across from Grantaire. He looked at R, who gave him a shy smile, which honestly could’ve melted Enjolras’s heart if he had let it, and he blushed and gave a small wave. Then Enj realized Jehan was sitting right next to R and was staring at him and grinning like a cheshire cat. Enj looked away quickly and the smile faded from his face. 

Everyone was seated now and started to pass around the different dishes. Enjolras tried to avoid eye contact with Grantaire only because he couldn’t trust himself to not be obvious, especially now that Jehan was watching him with hawk-like precision for any sign of weakness. Enj knew they were just waiting to swoop in with a deadly knowing look or even worse, a wink. Grantaire on the other hand seemed to be playing it cool. Whether it was that he was too focused on the task at hand, gathering as much food on his plate as possible, or it was that he was already used to hiding his feelings for Enjolras in plain sight, he seemed to just go about his day. 

“Enj,” R said, causing Enjolras to zone back in.

“Yes, R?” Enj looked at him both hopefully and a little helplessly. He tried to completely ignore Jehan who was very obviously staring.

“Can you pass the gravy please?” R asked as he pointed to the gravy boat. 

“Yeah,” Enj said, handing it to R, their fingers briefly touching, at which R smiled and said thank you, and Enj blushed while shyly saying, “You’re welcome.”

Jehan smiled even wider, rolled their eyes, and said, “Oh gods, gross,” and may have muttered something about them being worse than Marius.

Once all the plates were full, Enj decided to make a speech in lieu of a traditional Thanksgiving prayer, since they were a religiously diverse group and this was more of a celebration of their friendship. “Everyone, thank you so much for all the hard work that went into today. It is so nice to have some home cooked food with all of you. Today, we should give thanks not just for our friendship, but for everything we have accomplished. This place, OUR cafe, a place we’ve all dreamed of for so long. As a wise man once said,  ‘There is nothing like a dream to create the future.’ All of your hard work and sacrifice finally paid off. And, my friends, my family, thank you all so much for everything,” Enjolras orated and the group clapped, then he continued, “And thank you, Grantaire, for your…interesting idea to run a cafe and then force us to feed you in it,” he said as he and everyone laughed. 

Grantaire got to his feet and said, ‘I’m not going to bore you with a long rant, like I usually do…”

“Good!” shouted Bossuet from the end of the table, to which everyone, including R, laughed.

“Yeah, R, you don’t have to...I just…” Enj started to say as R waved him off, never one to miss an opportunity to both be the center of attention and also derail Enjolras.

R continued, “I just wanted to thank you all for supporting this cafe idea of mine and for being around me when I was at my worst. To also quote a great man ‘The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved. Loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.’ Thank you all for loving me, when I couldn’t. A toast!” he said as he raised his glass of grape juice, instead of wine like most of his friends. He looked at Enj, who was still standing, and smiled as he said, “Let the wine of friendship never run dry!” Everyone cheered in agreeance and took a sip. “Enough speeches, let’s eat!” he said as he sat down, and everyone did. They ate and talked and laughed and played all the games on their shelves, and for the first time in a long time, everyone in their big family was happy.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suit shopping, horny Enjolras! Next stop, the wedding!
> 
> If you're curious to see the inspiration I had Combferre's suit is here:  
> https://www.pinterest.com/pin/436004807648617670/
> 
> and Courf's suit is here:   
> https://www.contemposuits.com/mens-lavender-paisley-prom-tuxedo-jacket-alberto-paisley-300.html

Enjolras had gotten a late start that morning. His alarm was set, but he must have slept through it. Needless to say he was a little frazzled, but offered to buy everyone coffee as penance. He threw on a pair of jeans, a plain t-shirt, tied his hair back into a low ponytail, and ran out the door. He showed up to Suit Yourself, the local tuxedo shop, to find R, Courf, and Ferre waiting out front for him. He apologized profusely while handing everyone their drinks: black coffee for Ferre, ice capp for R, and a double double for Courf. He got himself an Americano, but had finished it in the car, hoping the espresso would kick in soon. 

As members of the wedding party, they thought it best to all shop for their tuxes together for matching purposes. R had never shopped for a suit before, so he wasn’t sure what to expect. Courf assured him that he would be fine and that he could help him figure it out. Courf trusted R’s eye when it came to looking nice and was hoping R could help him narrow the choices down, as he often got over excited in these situations. Ferre and Enj knew each other like they knew themselves and Ferre trusted Enj to help him make the right choice as well. They walked in the shop and were greeted by a salesman who seemed nice enough. Ferre was nervous to tell him what the occasion was, never really knowing how people would react. Courf, however, was as unabashed as he always was.

“We’re shopping for  _ our _ wedding,” Courf explained as he wrapped elbows with Ferre. In Courf’s mind, if there was going to be a problem, he wanted to know about it outright.

“Excellent,” the salesman said without hesitation, and started his sales pitch. The group took a collective breath. 

They were divided up between four separate dressing rooms, Courf and Grantaire in 8 and 9, Enjolras in 7, and Combeferre in 6. Once Ferre and Courf were settled in their rooms, it was time for R and Enj to get to work. The salesman did a rough estimate on their sizes and told them to ask if they needed anything. Each of the grooms decided not to see what the other was wearing, leaving Enj and R to make sure the colors matched and run them different sizes and accessories. Enj and R would then find something similar for themselves. The color they had decided on was lavender. 

“Enj, I think I saw the  _ perfect  _ tux for Courf,” R said excitedly after they walked into the front of the shop. R directed Enj over to a mannequin wearing a lavender paisley-print tuxedo jacket with matching bowtie. 

“Don’t you think that might be too much?” Enj suggested. “Besides, it looks like it’s more for a prom than a wedding.”

Not to be deterred, R shook his head. “No, I know that Courf will love this!” R called the salesman over and he bought out the same tux in the size he estimated Courf to be. R rushed it over to Courf, and Enj was left alone to figure something out for Ferre. Ferre wasn’t necessarily hard to shop for, but Enj needed to find something that was both his style and matched the loud tux that R was offering Courf. 

Just as Enj heard a door open in the back, he heard Courf squeal with delight.  _ I guess R was right,  _ Enj thought with a sigh. At least he knew what Ferre wasn’t going to wear. 

Enj found a black tux with a lavender vest which he brought into room 6 and waited for Ferre to try it on. He could see R flitting back and forth with different shirts and a few different types of pants for Courf. Ferre didn’t like how it fit him, so Enj went back out. R was already back in the front looking at hats.  _ Oh no, I have to pick out a hat? _ Enj thought to himself. He had no idea what to do when it came to hats. He needed to focus. That early morning mix-up really had him in a tizzy. R had run back and forth three times while Enj was still perusing jackets. He found a white jacket with lavender lined pockets that might do well with the vest he showed Ferre earlier. 

“Ferre, I got you a different jacket,” he said when he got to the door. 

“You can open it, these doors don’t really lock,” Ferre said, welcoming his friend in. Ferre was in green underwear and a white button up shirt. Enj had seen him in worse states of undress before and was unfazed. He handed him the jacket and the vest he tried on before while looking in the mirror. He looked nervous. 

“Everything ok?” Enj asked. He thought Ferre looked quite dapper, even without the rest of the tux. 

“Nerves. Not so much for what we're doing, but the how,” Ferre said, as he spun back and forth a bit.

“What do you mean?” Enj asked.

“Just being in front of everyone. You know I’m more of an ideas man. I don’t really like being the center of attention. It would’ve suited me fine to just go to the courthouse with the two of you as witnesses and call it a day,” Ferre said as he straightened the collar a little.

“You’ll be fine. Besides, Courf will be up there with you. Trust me, he’ll draw everyone’s attention,” Enj said with a laugh, thinking about Courf’s suit.

“I know he will. It’s important to him, so I’ll do it, but believe me, I will be sweating bullets,” Ferre laughed as well. 

“And I’ll be up there with you,” Enj reassured. They had decided on sort of a traditional procession, with Ferre walking in first and waiting for Courf at the altar. Ferre had wondered if that would send some sort of gendered message about their relationship to some of their old fashioned guests. Courf had simply responded “tough.” This way, Ferre would have the eyes taken off of him for as long as possible and Courf would get to make the kind of grand entrance he always wanted. 

“How do you do it?” Ferre said, turning to Enj. “How do you get in front of people and make your speeches without getting nervous?”

“Oh, I get nervous,” Enj answered. “I just do it. I have always wanted my message to be heard and that outweighed my fears, most of the time. Not everyone is like that though. You’re amazing at what you do. You’re great at planning and scheduling. Sometimes, I can get too wrapped up in what we’re doing, I can’t think of where there is conflict or overlap. You’re brilliant, Ferre. You help guide us. It’s a very important job.”

Ferre blushed. “It’s good to feel appreciated. Here I am, always wishing I could be like you.” This made Enj blush. “When we met, you were so quiet and I thought, ‘Great! Someone like me to break up all the energy Courf and Jehan had. But then you changed, in the best way of course, and I wondered if I was contributing enough just planning things and taking notes.”

“Of course, Ferre. Every movement needs all sorts of people. Some people are great at speeches, others at drawing crowds, like Courf. But you, you can change the world without saying a word,” Enj said excitedly. Ferre motioned him to come give him a hug.

“I’m so glad I picked you as my best man,” Ferre said as they embraced. He continued, “To be honest, I was jealous when you started hanging out with R more often. I thought he was going to steal my best friend from me.” Enjolras tensed up and Ferre got a sly smile across his face as Enj slithered out of his arms.

“Um, yeah, no. Never. We’re friends forever,” Enj said, attempting to recover. Ferre tried to wipe the grin from his face, but couldn’t help it as he saw his friend squirm. “Oh, I’ve got to pick you out some pants!” Enj said as he scrambled out the door, as red as a beet. This interaction only added to his brain fog. He picked out a pair of black slacks in Ferre’s size and absentmindedly staggered down the hall of dressing rooms. He opened the door to room 9, to see Ferre, now just in underwear bent over picking something off the floor. “I got your pa…” Enj was stopped in mid-sentence as he realized the figure in front of him was not Ferre, but a green boxer-briefs clad Grantaire, who was just now returning to the standing position and turned to face Enj. 

Enj didn’t realize he was staring until R greeted him, “Hey, Enj, those for me?” R said calmly, but then realized he was standing in front of Enjolras nearly naked and scrambled to cover himself up.

“NO! SORRY!” Enj said as he slammed the door behind him and ran to room 6 and frantically knocked on the door.

“Enj, what…?” Ferre asked coming to the door to see what was going on.

“PANTS!” Enj shouted as he threw the pants at Ferre then ran to his own dressing room to hide forever and, if he got his way, disappear into the shadow realm, never to be seen or heard from again. He was beyond embarrassed.  _ Oh my god, he probably saw me staring at his….EVERYTHING,  _ Enj thought to himself as he attempted to take deep breaths.  _ That gym membership has been working for those glutes….no Enj, stop. We are not going to objectify our friend!  _ he chastised himself.  _ Our friend who has the softest lips and nicely fills out those...STOP!  _ He had to pull it together. He was Enjolras, confident, hardworking...a little horny. No! He had to gather his thoughts so he could help Ferre with his wedding, pick out his own tux and  _ then _ he could evaporate into nothingness.  _ Priorities! _ he thought to himself as he resolved to get back out there. 

He knocked on Ferre’s door, who opened the door slowly, a little afraid of being assaulted by pants again. “Yes?” Ferre asked nervously.

“Did, um...did the pants work out?” Enj asked regaining composure.

“Can I try the same size in white...please?” Ferre asked, handing the black pair to Enj through a crack in the door.

“Yeah, no problem,” Enj said as he grabbed the pair from Ferre, walked confidently down the hall, saw R standing at the front of the store, now fully dressed, covered his face and turned right around and hid in his dressing room for a minute.  _ We’ve got to face him sometime. It was an honest mistake,  _ he thought, giving himself a pep talk. He resolved to try again. He opened his door, looked both ways and walked to the pants section. R was no longer out there so he grabbed the white pants, and turned to walk down the hall, almost bumping into R. 

“Hey, you just about done?” R asked, sounding confident, but not making eye contact. 

“Actually, no,” Enj said after a brief hesitation. “I’m still helping Ferre. I didn’t even start looking for myself.

“Oh, that’s cool. Courf is almost finished. He really liked that jacket and bowtie and I found him some plain lavender pants and a black vest. It doesn’t look as bad as you think,” R said, trying to laugh. 

“I’m sure he looks amazing. I can’t wait to see it,” Enj said as he fiddled with the pants in his hand.

“Yeah. Is Ferre wearing white?! He’s going to look fantastic!” R said, looking down at Enj’s hands.

“Yeah. He looks rather dashing,” Enj said, putting on a fancy voice, then internally yelling at himself for doing so.

“Awesome. When you're done, Courf had this idea that since we’re both groomsmen, we should match each other and I think that might be a cool idea. We could both wear black and have lavender ties or something,” R stated, getting more animated.

“Sounds great. I’ll be with you in a sec,” Enj said as he walked to Ferre’s room. He decided he liked the pants, so he was finally taken care of. 

Courf had already gotten final measurements and paid for it and was waiting in a chair in the corner. R walked up to him to chit-chat while they waited for Enj.

“So he’s not going to talk to you about your  _ nakedness? _ ” Courf said with a playful tone in his voice.

“I wasn’t  _ naked,  _ but no. How do you have that conversation? ‘Hi, were you staring at me when you may or may not have accidentally walked in on me in my skivies?’” R said, sarcastically.

“ _ Did he _ check you out?” Courf asked, getting a smug smile across his face. “Besides, it was definitely an accident. Enj wouldn’t dare.”

“I don’t know? Maybe? I figured as much. It just seemed like a long time. It didn’t help that I stood there and it took me ages to figure out why he looked horrified,” R said, rubbing his temples.

“But... _ was he _ horrified?” Courf asked with a chuckle. The conversation had to be dropped as Enj approached them. 

“Ok, so what’s the plan?” Enj could tell he probably didn’t want to know what they were just talking about and figured he should just ignore Courf winking at him. 

“We wear black tuxes, white shirts, lavender vests and ties, Courf’s idea,” R explained quickly and thoroughly. Courf helped them pick their sizes and they both went to their separate rooms. When they were dressed, they stepped out into the hall, where Courf and Ferre were waiting for them.

“AW! You guys look so cute with your little matching tuxedos!” Courf gushed as he cupped his face in his hands. 

“Really, you guys look great!” Ferre said, impressed. 

Enj turned to look at R, who he had never seen dressed up in anything that fit him and was taken aback.  _ He can really wear a suit, _ Enj thought, but then turned to face Courf and Ferre so it didn’t look like he was staring again. 

“You look amazing, Enj,” R said, not shy about staring. R could’ve looked at him forever in that tux.  _ Goddammit, is he handsome,  _ R thought, continuing to melt internally. But, then he got an idea. “Hang on!” R ran down the hall, gently moving Courf and Ferre aside. The three of them looked at each other confused for a moment, then R came bounding back with something in his hand. “Turn around!” he said to Enj, making a circular motion with his hand.

“Ok….?” Enj agreed, but was both nervous and confused. As he faced the back of the hall, he felt Grantaire very close behind him. He didn’t know what was going on, but he didn’t hate it. He suddenly felt a gentle pull on his hair and realized R was manipulating his ponytail. Enj didn’t have time to speak before he was done, backing away from Enj.

“There!” R said and he turned Enj back around gently. He had tied a perfect, lavender bowtie around Enj’s ponytail. 

“PERFECT!” Courf squealed. Ferre nodded.

Enj ducked into his dressing room and tried to look at R’s handiwork. It did look nice from what he could see. “Thanks, R,” Enj said, blushing a little as he rejoined the group.

“Our R, so good with his hands,” Courf said smiling mischievously, knowing full well what he was doing. 

Ferre elbowed him in the side and crossed his arms. Courf giggled, Enj and R almost died. “Should we call the salesmen over to take your measurements so we can get out of here today?” They agreed. They paid for everything and left, taking the suits and their measurements. The plan was to take the suits to Feuilly’s apartment, who had generously offered to make alterations since no tailor in the city could make the changes in enough time. 

Enj and R recovered quickly from their embarrassment. They were barely out the door when they began arguing what they should all get for lunch.

  
  
  



	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally the Courf/Ferre wedding day and as an early holiday gift, the tiniest bit of smut.

Grantaire looked at himself in the mirror and straightened his tie.  _ I clean up okay, _ he thought to himself. He was wearing the black tux with lavender accents that he and Enj picked out together. In fact, they were matching suits. The alterations Feuilly had done on the suits made them fit so much better than they did in the store. He let his thoughts stray to Enjolras and how handsome he looked in his suit and how soft his hair was for just a minute before he was snapped back to reality. He kept going over chords in his head, desperately trying to remember each of the songs he agreed to play despite his nerves. It was Courf and Ferre’s wedding at last.  _ They’ve only been dating for close to fifteen years. It’s about time! _ R thought. Outside, Eponine was beeping her horn. He took one last look in the mirror, grabbed his guitar and his ukelele, and went out the door.

To make the day more special, Courf and Ferre each requested one song for R to play during the ceremony, Ferre got to pick the procession and Courf the recession. Neither one of them knew which song the other one picked, which in R’s opinion, showed a lot of trust. R felt that they had to have a lot of faith in him as well to have him perform it. He also was asked to perform two songs at the reception, one for the first dance and then one right before they cut the cake, which R baked, but was dropped off at the venue earlier in the day. Between the songs, cake and being a part of the ceremony, R felt a lot of pressure, but in the best way. Just last year, heck, a few months ago, he felt that his friends would have probably begged him not to come. Although he was stressed, he was very proud of himself. 

The place where the ceremony was being held was a little park that was just a few blocks away from the group’s old high school. As far as R could remember, that was the park where he, Courf, and Enj had all become friends. It was fitting then, to have all of them there to celebrate Courf and Ferre’s nuptials. R was quiet the whole ride, overthinking the work he still had to do, and Eponine and Gav obliged by letting him zone. Eponine was wearing a dark purple floral print, knee length fit and flare silhouette dress with cap sleeves and scoop neckline, and her hair was down and draped over both her shoulders in waves.  _ She looks stunning _ , R thought,  _ and Gav looks so handsome in his tux.  _ Gavroche was chosen to be the ring bearer and had a smaller tux that was similar to R’s. They pulled up to the part of the park where he and Courf were supposed to meet before the event to see him speaking with Jehan, who was officiating.

“No, Courf, a Diogenes x Plato fanfiction would never work. They are fundamentally opposite in their beliefs AND they hated each other. Oh, hey R!” Jehan said as they waved and decided to put a pin in whatever he and Courf were talking about. Courf, for maybe the first time R had ever seen, was nervous. He had on the paisley print lavender tux that R had helped him pick out and was fidgeting and fussing with it.  _ If Courf is talking about fanfictions, he must be trying to distract himself, _ R thought. The last time Courf had pitched a fanfiction idea, it was about Sam and Sebastian from Stardew Valley, and was just before he had agreed to do a speech at one of their fundraisers. He was always very confident, but every once in a while, you could see little chinks in the armor. 

“Hey, how’s it going? Are we almost ready?” R asked. Jehan nodded. They were wearing a royal purple suit top and fitted black pants. There was a tiny sprig of lavender, the plant, clipping one side of their bangs back and the rest of their hair was in their signature over the shoulder braid. 

“We are looking good, R. So you and I will walk over together, then the procession will start as soon as you start playing. Sound ok?” Jehan asked. R nodded. It was a little chilly today so he hoped they were almost ready to go. Courf had wanted to live “the full Phoebe fantasy” since he watched an episode of Friends where Phoebe got married in the snow in 2004, which he described as “the most magical thing he’d ever seen.” The ground had some snow cover, but thankfully it wasn’t terribly cold despite it being early December. Still, it wasn’t exactly warm and R hoped his fingers would be agile enough when it came time to play the music. Jehan signaled to him it was time to move. R gave Courf one last reassuring hug, grabbed his ukelele, and followed Jehan to the area where people were waiting, probably very chilled, in their seats. 

They were performing the ceremony in front of an old lighthouse that stood beside a small river. Being this close to the water was not helping the overall temperature, but everything did look beautiful, sparkly, and yes, magical. Jehan waved at someone off to the side, behind a wall of cars to indicate it was time to get ready. Musichetta got into position, as she was the photographer for the event. R got his green uke ready and started to play. 

The song Ferre chose was “Somewhere Only We Know” by Keane, and R thought the ukelele suited the song very well. At the back of the aisle, R could see Ferre and Enjolras walking up, arms wrapped at the elbow like they agreed. Ferre didn’t really have much of a family that was willing to come, aside from a few cousins and his aunt Matilda, who most of the rest of his family called “eccentric.” Enjolras was there for moral support as well as helping Ferre feel like he wasn’t alone. R tried hard to focus on the song as they walked, but he was extremely distracted watching Enjolras, whose suit also fit him better, walking down the aisle and looking like he was adorably trying to count the time of their steps. Ferre was looking very dapper in his all white tux with lavender accents, although he seemed to blend in with the snowy ground as a backdrop. R realized this was most likely on purpose. 

Ferre finally made it to the front and he and Enjolras turned to face the direction they had just come in as Enj ducked to the right side of the archway. Gav was approaching carrying a lavender pillow with the rings on it, followed by Bahorel who had tears in his eyes as he was spreading purple and white flowers down the aisle. Rel moved off to the side as Courf became visible, just as R was getting to the second  _ “Oh simple thing…” _

All eyes were on Courf now, including Ferre who stared at Courf with tears in his eyes and the biggest smile he had ever had in his life. Courf was equally emotional as he walked down the aisle with Eponine on his arm. Not an eye was dry by the time he arrived next to Ferre. Eponine gave both Courf and Ferre small pecks on their cheeks, and she handed Courf’s arm to Ferre. R put his uke down and joined Courf on the left side of the archway. 

Jehan began, “Thank you, honored guests for joining us here today for the union of our two beautiful friends, Combeferre and Courfeyrac. We will try to make this quick so we can get to partying and warming up,” Jehan joked. This joke was very timely, as a light snowfall had begun, which made Courf extremely happy. After a moment of laughter, Jehan continued, “Enjolras and Grantaire will now help me with the Handfasting.” Handfasting, which is celtic and pagan in origin, was becoming popular again and Jehan, being pagan, had performed quite a few such ceremonies over the years. 

First, Gav walked up to present the rings. The grooms turned to face each other and looked lovingly into each other’s eyes. Courf had streams of happy tears down his face. Ferre’s eyes were also wet with tears, but it was obvious he was trying to hold them in. Ferre whispered, “I love you,” to Courf, who whispered the same back. This was the big moment and the happiest of their lives. Ferre took one band and placed it on Courf’s left hand and then Courf did the same for him. Courf and Ferre then criss-crossed their arms and held hands so that one’s right hand was holding the other one’s right and their left hands doing the same. Next, Enjolras walked over to the two of them and wrapped a red ribbon around both of their hands as they held each other. Enjolras was nervous and fumbled a little, but Courf whispered that he was doing great. 

When Enj was done, Jehan asked so everyone could hear, “Do you promise to honor and respect each other and never break this sacred binding?” They both said, “We will,” and Jehan continued, “The first knot it tied.”

R walked up and wrapped a blue ribbon around their hands and whispered,  _ “And now you’re stuck with him,” _ which made both of them laugh. Then Jehan said, “Do you promise to share each other’s heartache and pain, and always seek to ease it?” They answered, “We will,” and Jehan said, “The second knot is tied.”

Lastly, Jehan wrapped a purple ribbon around both of their hands. When they were done, Jehan said, “Do you promise to live with each other, laugh with each other, and love each other?” They answered, “We will,” and Jehan said, “The third knot is tied. You have officially ‘tied the knot.” Jehan helped untie them. When they were done, Jehan announced, “Congratulations you two, you may now kiss your spouse!” More cheering ensued as the two husbands could now embrace each other and Courf wrapped his arms around Ferre’s neck, kissing him deeply. Jehan cued Grantaire to start the recession. 

R grabbed his ukelele and began playing “Into You” by Ariana Grande, starting the pre-chorus at  _ “Oh baby look what you started...” _ Once the newlyweds had been satisfied kissing each other, Courf grabbed Ferre’s arm and danced with him down the aisle among the bubbles their guests were blowing and the tiny flakes falling down. Everyone packed up quickly to meet at the restaurant banquet hall where the reception would take place. They had chosen the same venue (which was thankfully open on that day) where they had held Courf’s birthday party that had become their engagement as well. Everyone arrived to find the place decked out with lavender and white table settings. Only a few of Courf’s family had decided to show: his parents and grandmother, although his parents were there begrudgingly. The Amis, some of Courf’s friends outside of the group, and Ferre’s family were all at the venue awaiting the grooms’ arrival. Enjolras, who was always ready to play host, was trying to entertain some of the guests.

“So you’re in Combeferre’s little activist club?” Aunt Matilda asked Enj. 

“Oh yeah, we go way back. We’ve been friends since high school,” Enj answered politely, but having to raise his voice a little as Aunt Matilda was hard of hearing.

“That’s nice. So how does this work? Which one of them took the other’s last name?” she asked loudly, but not in a mean way as the lights lowered, indicating everyone should take their seats.

“You’ll have to excuse me. I’m in the wedding party and have to go,” Enj said, excusing himself.

Once everyone was in their seats, music started to play over the stereo system. It was “Uptown Funk.” Bossuet’s voice was heard over the music. “Honored Guests, it’s time to introduce...THE WEDDING PARTY!!” At the first words, _ “This hit, that ice cold...” _ , the doors opened and Bahorel, Eponine, and Gavroche entered wearing sunglasses, dancing and lip-syncing as Bossuet announced their names. Bahorel and Eponine did the Running Man, while Gav Flossed between them. As  _ “Stylin’, wiling…”  _ came on, Jehan, Grantaire and Enjolras, also wearing sunglasses came in. R and Enj did the Cabbage Patch as Jehan blew a kiss at “ _ Kiss myself, I’m so pretty.”  _ Courf, wearing the purple boa again, entered with a jump at “ _ Too hot…”  _ and dragged Ferre in, who sheepishly lip synced  _ “Hot damn.”  _ Courf coaxed Ferre further into the room to join the whole wedding party by  _ “Don’t believe me, just watch”,  _ at which time, everyone got up and was dancing.

After the song finished it was time to sit down and eat. They had an option of chicken parmesan or a vegetarian dish. The food was delicious. Every so often, the guests would tap their glasses to make Ferre and Courf kiss, which they never tired of. Enjolras and R both had speeches to deliver after dinner. 

Enj went first. “You all hear me talk, quite a lot, so I’ll be brief. I met Courf and Ferre the same day. Courf convinced me to come sit with them, and I went even though I was painfully shy at the time.” Everyone laughed, as most of them couldn’t imagine Enj being shy ever. He continued, “We all became the best of friends, Jehan and R, too. To be honest, they both changed my life in ways that I could never have imagined. Becoming my confidants, my team, my family. I’m so happy they found happiness with each other. To Courf and Ferre!” Everyone toasted and cheered. 

It was R’s turn and he was extremely nervous. Why had he agreed to do  _ all  _ of this? He got up and began to speak. “Wow, I can’t believe we’re finally doing this. It seems like this has always been a moment in time that was destined to happen. I met Courf first, in the park we were all just at. I was having a terrible day. I had a lot going on, but that’s another story. He came right up to me and asked me, a total stranger, if I was ok. That’s just the kind of amazing person he is. We started hanging out in school and he confided in me that he had a crush on some guy, some dude who hung out in the library, but he was too afraid to talk to him. This guy here, who would talk to anyone, even me, was afraid of someone? So in my curiosity, I went up to this guy, who was just minding his own business, and asked him if he wanted to hang out with us. For some reason, he saw us weirdos and decided that was an ok idea,” R paused as everyone laughed. “Then after years of watching the pining and the jealousy of seeing Ferre date other people, I watched Courf finally have the courage to walk up to Ferre and ask him to the prom. I guess it worked out?” R paused again. “But seriously, you two are some of the best people I ever met. Always offering me a couch, or food, or a drink…” R looked sad for a moment, but smiled and said, “If I didn’t have friends like you, I wouldn’t be here.” He looked at the newlyweds, but also made eye contact with Enjolras. He continued, “So thank you so much for being my family. I wish you nothing but all of the best things in life and years and years to live them!” He toasted and sat down quietly as everyone cheered. Enj looked over to him to try and see his expression, but couldn’t make out what he was thinking. 

It was time for the first dance, so R got up and took his guitar over to the sound system. He played their chosen song, “Beside You” by Marianas Trench, as the husbands danced cheek to cheek. After a minute or so everyone started to partner up and dance. Joly, Bossuet, and Musichetta tried their best to dance in a tight circle. Bahorel and Feuilly went to the bar to grab more drinks. Jehan and Eponine decided to dance together. Enjolras was going to sit this one out and wait for a more upbeat number.

When the song ended, R stopped for a water break, and Bossuet played some EuroPop songs from the 90s that everyone remembered from their childhoods. R took the next few songs to sit quietly and rest his voice before the cake cutting. He watched as Enj awkwardly danced with Courf and smiled. He wondered if he would ever have the courage to ask him to dance. 

Bahorel had Gav up on his shoulders, almost dropping him twice, and was frantically asking him not to tell his sister. R looked around the room for Ep and saw her in the corner drunkenly making out with Jehan. R was a little surprised, but he thought it was interesting.  _ Sometimes it’s fun to be the sober one, _ he laughed to himself.

After a while, Bossuet announced it was time for R to sing a song while Courf and Ferre cut the cake. R grabbed his guitar again and played “Rest of my Life” by Unwritten Law. Courf and Ferre swayed back and forth to the music as they rolled out the two tiered cake R had baked. It was a white cake with raspberry in the middle. They cut the cake together and tried to feed each other, but since Courf was reaching up and Ferre was reaching down, Ferre dropped his fork and got frosting on Courf’s cheek. They both laughed and Ferre kissed it off. R’s attention turned to Enj. He realized that Enj was staring at him as he sang. R decided not to hold back and when he got to the chorus he sang directly to Enj,  _ “ _ _ 'Cause I know I'm so slow/ But I'm trying /And I'm still dying to know/ Say you won't leave for the rest of my life.” _

He wasn’t sure how to read Enj’s expression, but Enj’s gaze never wavered. As he finished the song, he realized that Ferre and Courf both had frosting on their noses now and everyone was cheering for them. R put down his guitar and looked for Enj, but he couldn’t find him. He desperately needed some air. He walked out inside into what was now evening. He breathed deep as he heard the door open. He turned and saw Enj looking for someone. They locked eyes. R walked up to him, pulled him down by his shirt to be able to reach his mouth as he landed a kiss on him. Enj was either expecting it or was at least enjoying it, because his response was to wrap his arms around R and fall deeper into the kiss. 

Then something very new happened, R could feel Enj’s tongue pressing against his lips. R did not need anymore convincing and allowed Enj’s tongue to enter. He moved his hands up and placed them on the back of Enj’s neck, pulling him even closer. The two began to lose balance as things intensified. R spun Enj around to gently lean him against the wall of the restaurant. He asked if he was ok between kisses, afraid he may have pushed too hard. He felt Enj’s lips smile against his as he simply murmured, “mmhmm.” Going back to devouring Enj, R noticed Enj’s hands were now on his hips, the tops of his thumbs tucked ever so slightly into the waistband of his dress slacks. This realization made him both excited, but question reality a little. He decided to roll with it, and refused to be beaten at whatever game Enj was playing. They were both very competitive people and R loved messing up Enj’s plans and games.

Enj however wasn’t thinking of any such game, as none of the blood seemed to be in his head anymore. All he could think about was how he didn’t want whatever the hell was going on to stop. He felt R’s mouth move off of his and opened his eyes to investigate. He realized that R’s mouth hadn’t left him, but was slowly moving down to his neck. He felt R breathing hard, hot breath against the side of his neck as R brushed his hair, which had come out of its bow in all this commotion, out of the way. 

He nearly melted as he felt R’s soft, soft lips kiss his left clavicle, then give his neck a light suck, his top teeth brushing the sensitive area ever so slightly. Enj gasped and he felt R laugh against his skin. Enj decided to punish him for his laughter by moving his hands down and give R a playful tap on his ass. He felt R jump and apologized, thinking it was too hard. R assured he was just surprised and went back to Enj’s neck. Enj decided,  _ Why not?  _ and cupped R’s backside, giving him a slight lift as R buried himself deeper in Enj’s neck.  _ Finally!  _ Enj’s thought, giving R’s glutes a little squeeze.  _ Just as I imagined,  _ he thought, laughing. He kept laughing as R began tickling him with tiny pecks up and down his neck. Enj couldn’t take it anymore and took his hands off of R’s lower cheeks to grab the ones on his face. He squeezed them in a playful manner, which scrunched up R’s face.

“Hey!” R said, through the squishiness, which made Enj laugh harder.

“Hey yourself,” he said as he released R. Both of their faces were flushed and they couldn’t stop smiling. R backed up so Enj could remove himself from the wall. 

“So….” R said, unsure of what to say.

“So?” Enj said, unable to stop staring at R, but hoping the blood would return to his brain soon.

“So are we just gonna keep meeting like this in alleyways and offices and such or…” R started to say.

“Or what?” Enj asked, smiling goofily and booping R on the nose.

R playfully batted his hand away, “Or are we gonna talk about this? Figure out what we’re doing? If we keep meeting like this, maybe we should try and figure this out.”

“Like a date or something?” Enj asked.

“Yeah, like a date,” R asked, biting his lip a little and looking at his feet.

“Yeah, ok. But let’s not tell anyone else about this yet ok?” Enj said, trying to boop R’s nose again. R laughed and tried to evade him.

“Why? You don’t want people to know?” R asked, a little let down.

“Just, if things don’t work out, or even if they do, I don’t want people to get weirded out, you know? Like all the questions and such. I wanna figure stuff out with you before we’re interrogated,” Enj explained, straightening out his suit and trying to fix his hair.

“Oh, who would ever want to interrogate us?” R asked jokingly, knowing full well that Jehan was already waiting with approximately four thousand questions. “Ok, for now. I’m actually surprised you’re agreeing to this,” R said with a smile.

“Why?” Enj asked, but before R could answer, the door opened as people started to leave. Aunt Matilda waved at Enjolras and winked as she left. They both decided they better go back in. 

Bossuet was still playing 90s dance jams and R jumped onto the dance floor to try and teach Gav the Cotton Eyed Joe. Enj danced adjacent to him, no, in the same dance circle as him. Maybe R wasn’t going to get his slow dance this time. He smiled and looked at Enj, who smiled back. He thought,  _ someday. _


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First date. HERE WE GO. You ready?  
> also, I never wrote anything like this before so be kind.

Enj and R decided to meet at the gaming center, Let’s Par Tee. In the spring and summer months, it had three outdoor mini golf courses, but indoors there was an arcade and a laser tag area you could rent out for parties. Since it was just the two of them, this was mainly going to be a snack bar/arcade adventure. Both Enj and R liked gaming, but this venue was chosen for its proximity to a bus stop. R had insisted on taking a bus there even though Enj had offered rides several times. In part it was because R was very nervous things may go badly and he liked not having to rely on anyone. The other part was that he was still in disbelief that Enj would agree to this, and he didn’t want to push the issue by also asking for a ride. 

R was never sure what to wear to these kinds of things. He had settled on jeans, nicer looking than the ones he usually wore, and a green, cable knit sweater. It was a casual place, yet this was supposed to be a date. In truth, R had never been on a “real” date before. He and Eponine had tried going out for a while in high school, even messed around a little, but it was never anything serious, and they had decided to stay best friends instead. His lack of experience also added to his anxiety, but he was determined to enjoy this. For all he knew, he might only ever have one shot at this. 

Enjolras was waiting outside as R came walking up. His long hair was in a low bun, with a few strands loose by his ears.  _ We cannot have a panic attack just because someone’s hair frames their face too perfectly,  _ R thought to himself. His eyes wandered to look at the rest of Enj’s outfit, which was extremely casual for him: a red long sleeve t-shirt and light blue jeans.  _ Ok, so he’s dressed down. Is this really a date or…,  _ R thought as his heart and mind began to race. He thought about turning around and forgetting the whole thing when Enj noticed him.

“Hey R!” he said as he waved R over. He seemed excited enough. 

“Hey, Enj,” R said nervously.

“Ready to go in? I heard they have a special on tokens. Looks like we picked a good day to come,” Enj said smiling, which made R even more nervous.  _ Enj never smiles at me,  _ he thought. 

They headed inside to the counter where they sold the tokens and Enj got out his wallet. They hadn’t discussed who was paying for what before now, but Enj bought all the tokens.

“Here you go,” Enj said, handing R a cup with thirty tokens in it. “You get snacks later?” he asked with a smile.

“Yeah, of course,” R said, still apprehensive. “Where to first?” They both looked out over the game floor. It was relatively empty. This place was usually quiet during the winter months and today was no exception. That made it better, as it basically gave them the run of the place.

“I don’t know. I usually play the more boring games,” Enj said, suddenly seeming embarrassed.

“Like what?” R asked. Something about Enj’s embarrassment made him less anxious. _ Maybe he is nervous, too? Nah, Enj doesn’t get nervous about anything,  _ he thought.

“I like the Deal or No Deal game and the Wheel of Fortune one,” Enj said looking at his feet. In R’s eyes, that just made him more adorable.

“Those games are great! You have a better shot of winning a lot of tickets than you do playing skee-ball,” R said, trying to reassure him.

“Ok, let’s go then,” Enj said, grabbing R’s hand and leading him over. R’s heart could’ve exploded and he did his best to wipe the stupid grin off of his face. By the time they arrived at the first game, he had not succeeded. “Here’s what you do,” Enj continued as they both looked at the screen of the Deal or No Deal game. “You always add the extra token to get double tickets, because that’s just economical. Then you pick the case. I always stick with my case, no matter what. No regrets that way. It’s all chance at the end of the day, but you still want to try for a big number.” Enj was talking and R was listening, but the same thing happened to him that always happened at their meetings. He could hear everything Enj was saying, but he just kept watching how his mouth moved so fast and eloquently. How his eyes got so big when he got excited. R understood all the words, but what a distraction Enjolras was to any kind of thought process. “R? You ready? Was that too much?” Enj asked, snapping R out of his reverie. 

“Yeah, what number do you want?” R answered, trying to act like he was paying attention.

“Um, I’m feeling 9,” Enj said as he picked it. “Gut feeling, you know?” R nodded.

They went through the first round of numbers, losing one of the top numbers, but mostly small ones. The banker gave a modest amount, but Enj slammed on the button excitedly and said “NO DEAL!” He then explained, “It doesn’t matter what the banker tells me, I always stick it out to the end. It’s stupid, but even if it looks like I’m not going to win a lot, I have to have faith that I made the right choice and keep going.”

R wondered if there was a metaphor in there somewhere, but shook off the idea. It was his turn to pick numbers this round and he didn’t want to let Enj down, even in such a low stakes game as this. “Ok, um...14!” R said as he picked the case. It was the $1 million prize. “Shit,” R said, waiting for Enj to get upset.

“That’s ok, our case could still have the $500,000,” Enj explained. “Like I said, it’s all chance. No worries,” Enj could see that R was taking this harder than he needed to and tried to reassure him.

“Ok,” R said hesitantly, “How about 3?” He hit the button and it was the $250,000 prize. “I’m sorry, Enj, I’m messing up your game,” R said disappointedly.

“R, it’s  _ our _ game. Don’t think about it so much. It’s just for tickets, not one of our charity events,” Enj said, laughing. 

“Right…” R said. He knew Enj was joking, but he still had his regrets. He only had to pick one more case. How bad could it get? He felt Enj’s hand rest itself in the middle of his back. R began to relax. Whether it was supposed to be comforting or flirty, he had no idea. “Let’s try 20!” It was the $10,000 prize, which for this game was good news.

“There you go!” Enj said, excitedly as he rubbed R’s back a little. They picked No Deal again and kept going. It got down to the final round. One of the cases had $5, which meant they would get 10 tickets and the other case had $500,000, which meant they would get 500 tickets.

“Are you going to stick with what you picked now that the pressure is on?” R joked

“I’m sticking to it!” Enj answered as he hit the button to keep his case. Inside was $5. “AWWW! Well, that’s how it goes I guess,” Enj said as he grabbed his 10 tickets. “You pick next.”

They went over to the Wheel of Fortune game to play a few rounds. R picked to double the tickets. “Economical,” he joked as he pointed at the screen. Enj laughed. They picked up quite a few tickets and got to the bonus round. 

“Event…  _REN_ _ RE_ _L_T_ _N?” R read out loud.

“French Revolution. Too easy!” Enj said.

“Was it?” R laughed.

“Probably easier than the June Rebellion,” Enj retorted. They both laughed a little and decided to go to the snack bar. R bought them an order of nachos and two Cokes. He brought it over to the table Enj picked.

“Nachos!” Enj said excitedly. “Another one of Courf’s favorites. Not as dear to his heart as mozz sticks, obviously.”

R laughed. “Yeah, it’s...different hanging out with just the two of us, huh?” 

“Yeah, but it’s fun. We used to do stuff alone together all the time,” Enj said, scooping up some cheese.

“Yeah, but not like this as far as I remember. Unless you thought it was?” R said, trying to save it at the last minute.

“Not officially, no. But…” Enj started to say as his face turned red.

“What?” R asked.

“Nothing. It’s just...if I had my way back then, it could’ve been,” Enj answered, suddenly not able to look at R. R was dumbfounded.

“I’m sorry, what?  _ YOU _ wanted to date me before this?!” R exclaimed.

“A little. When we were in high school. And then a little in college, too,” Enj answered, now a deep shade of blush on his cheeks. 

R thought for a minute, then asked, “Why didn’t we?”

“Well, for one, you weren’t out and I know you shouldn’t assume straightness, but you never said anything so I didn’t want to pry,” Enj said. This was finally the moment R had been both waiting for and dreading.

“I think I would best describe myself as pansexual. It’s complicated though. I usually have to be close to someone before I start to feel something. I can’t tell you why I never came out to any of you, seeing as you would never have said anything bad or anything. Just fear I guess, even though that doesn’t seem to make sense now,” R said, letting out a deep breath.

“Everyone does it on their own time. To be completely honest, we all got some vibes from you, but it was your story to tell,” Enj answered as he patted R on the hand, which was lying on the table.

“Vibes?” R asked with a chuckle.

“You know...queer vibes. I can’t describe it. It was just there,” Enj joked.

“I didn’t know I gave off vibes,” R laughed. “Then what was the other reason since I gave you vibes?” 

“Well, I didn’t think you were going to like me back and I didn’t want to lose you as a friend,” Enj paused and sighed, then continued, “And, when you disappeared and started drinking, I was kinda mad at you,” Enj said sadly.

“Oh,” R said, looking like he’d had the wind taken out of his sails.

“I understand everything now, so that’s water under the bridge. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring it up,” Enj explained, worried that he blew it.

“No, I get that, that’s understandable. I was a mess.” R said, part of him feeling sad, but part of him feeling hopeful.

“Well, yeah. You were really cute, R,” Enj said blushing. 

“WERE?” R said with fake outrage. He was mostly in shock that Enj would think that at any time period, let alone this one. 

“No no, I mean, you were this cool, older guy, playing guitar in the park...I don’t know,” Enj explained, shyly.

“So that’s what did it for you? R laughed. “Was it the bad boy motif or the ‘mess with queer vibes’ that got you going?”

“Both actually,” Enj joked. “Honestly, you were sweet and you wanted to change the world for the better. And you were good looking?”

“Is that a question?” R asked, teasingly.

“No, you are, you’re good looking,” Enj said, unable to look at him again. After an awkward silence, Enj asked, “Why did you agree to go on a date with me?”

“Are you kidding? Enjolras, I have had a crush on you for what seems like centuries. I never thought in a million years you would ever agree to be seen with me in public, let alone as a potential date!” R explained, excitedly.

“What? Since when?” Enj asked, genuinely confused.

“Since ever! There you were, with my friend Courf, all shy and mousey. Little did I know you would become such a handful.” R explained. He also thought about how much he would love a handful of Enjolras. “You were hot! You’ve always been hot! And so damn smart. All these ideas and you know how to actually fulfill them! The total package,” R continued. After all this time, he saw no point in holding back.

“But all you ever do is argue with me now. I thought we didn’t have anything in common anymore,” Enj said, still trying to process.

“I was flirting with you! God, for being as smart as you are, sometimes you miss what is right there in front of you,” R joked. Enj tried to let all the information settle in. “I’m also starting to think you were the only one who didn’t notice. Even Rel asked about it once or twice,” R laughed.

“Wha...but…” Enj’s mind began to race.

“ _ THE _ Enjolras is speechless?” R asked.

“Yeah, I mean...I don’t believe it. You actually liked me back?” Enj asked. This question made R so confused. 

_ “Actually liked me back?” He isn’t messing around? AND he liked ME?? _ , R thought to himself, but said, “Yeah, Enj. I’ve liked you probably as long as I’ve known you. How could I not?” R said, trying to reel Enj, who looked a little terrified, back in. "So let’s not waste any more time. Hurry up and eat your nachos so I can whoop your ass in air hockey,” R said, hoping to bring the conversation back to earth.

“Fat chance!” Enj said shovelling nachos into his mouth as fast as he could. They finished up their food and walked over to the air hockey table.

“My treat,” R said as he placed the tokens in the slot.

“You’ll regret it,” Enj said, trying to intimidate. The machine turned on and they placed the puck in the middle. The both lunged, but Enj got there first and easily scored the first goal.

“Shit!’ R exclaimed. “You’ll pay for that!” he said, smirking. The second goal also went to Enjolras. The points only went to five on this machine, so R was a bit concerned.

“Wanna make a bet?” Enjolras said with a cocky tone.

“Oh sure, since you’re ahead, you want to make bets now!” R chuckled.

“Well, yeah, but if you feel like you can’t win…” Enj teased.

“No, you’re on. Loser buys dinner later,” R smirked again.

“Fine,” Enj agreed, thinking that that bet was a lot tamer than what he would’ve bet for. Enj got another goal, but then R scored four in a row.

“Still willing to keep that bet?” R asked him now that the game had turned in his favor. “One more point and I win.”

“OnE mOrE pOiNt aNd I wIn,” Enj mocked him. 

“Ok, we’ll see,” R answered. R scored, winning the game. He walked over to Enj to give him a high five as Enj pouted. 

“I don’t know how to prove it, but you obviously cheated,” Enj joked.

“Moi? Cheat? Never!” R said with faked outrage.

“Yup, you definitely cheated,” Enj said as he wrapped his arms around R playfully. He paused for a moment, wondering if R would be ok with all this casual affection. When he realized R had no objections, he pulled him in for a kiss.

“You question my honor?” R said, pretending to pull away as Enj landed a kiss on his cheek.

“Yes Sir, I demand a rematch!” Enj said as R turned to face him and allowed a peck on his lips.

“Fine, name the time and place!” R said locking eyes with Enj.

“My place, Mario Kart,” Enj said, flirting.

“After you buy me dinner, loser,” R said teasingly as he kissed Enj again.

“How about we order in?” Enj said, giving R a little tap on his ass.

“Hmmm, I’ll think about it. But first, I gotta spend all my tickets,” R said, pulling out of Enj’s embrace. He could tell where this was heading and to be honest he wanted it to go there, but just a little. He had fooled around with Eponine before, but it was all very handsy and nothing under the clothes. R was once again worried about his own inexperience. He knew Enj had done things before with other people, but what, he didn’t know. What he did know was that he didn’t know what he was doing. If he talked it out with Enj, he was sure Enj would be understanding... he hoped.

They got to the ticket counter and decided to pool all their tickets together. All in all, they ended up with a little over 700. Enj picked out a deck of cards, explaining he didn’t have any at home. R picked out a set of dominoes and explained that they could play together, which made Enj smile. Next, Enj picked out some Smarties, since he figured any of the other candies would probably be gross and stale. R picked out two of those neon colored slip knot bracelets, one orange and one green, and put them in his pocket. Enj used the remainder to buy two plastic dinosaurs, a t-rex and a triceratops, since there wasn’t really much else to buy. They got in the car and drove back to Enj’s place.

********

Catria was there at the door to greet them both, mewing for her dinner. Enj explained he had to feed her and told R to settle in. R sat awkwardly on the couch and waited. This was only the second time he had been in Enj's apartment, so he still wasn't comfortable there. After a minute, Enj joined him.

"So dinner first or Mario Kart?" Enj asked as he sat down. 

"Why don't we order now since it will take awhile to get here?" R offered. 

Enj nodded, "Well since you won, what would you like?"

"Isn't that sub place near here?" R asked.

"Yeah, and their delivery price is reasonable. Is that what you want?" R nodded and dabbed, maybe unironically, out of happiness. He loved subs as much as he loved soup.

Enj ordered himself a turkey sub and R a chicken finger sub with hot sauce. Enj was feeling generous, so he also ordered a side of cheese fries. They channel surfed while they waited and chatted about the shows as they popped up. Enj was always a little indifferent, as he didn't usually watch TV, preferring to binge something on Netflix. In true Grantaire fashion, R had an argument for why each show they passed was worth watching. 

The food came and they moved into the kitchen. Occasionally, R would play-fight with Enj over what the current cheesiest fry was and why he deserved to eat it. Catria yowled between them, hoping one of them would drop something, and rubbed her face on them as she weaved between their legs. Enj leaned down to give her a little head rub and fake scolded her. As his arm came back up, he poked R in his side, which made R jump a little. R vowed to get him back, but continued eating. He was too nervous to eat before the date, so all he had eaten prior to their current meal was the nachos, and he was happily stuffing his face. 

They cleaned up and it was time for the real competition to begin. Enj handed R the blue Joycon and he took the red.

"You are so going down. This is my favorite game," Enj challenged.

"Oh, that's big talk from someone who thought  _ air hockey _ was also their game," R snapped back, smirking. Enj answered with a _ “ _ hmmph. _ ”  _

When it came time to pick their characters. R picked Luigi, but Enj hesitated. He looked at R, who shrugged as if to say "well?", and then picked Daisy.

"She's just a very good character and I always get results with her," Enj said, defensively.

"Enj, it's fine. I'm not judging you," R said with a laugh. Enj seemed satisfied and they picked their vehicles, Enj going for a motorcycle and R picking a little beetle shaped buggy, which Enj scoffed at.

"Hey, no judging me, either. Trust me, this works," R said confidently. 

"Whatev, you need a warm-up round or are you ready to go?" Enj asked.

"Oh, I'm ready," R said as he leaned forward on the couch to sit on the edge of the seat. Enj chose 200ccs and the Leaf Cup, his favorite grand prix.

The first track, Wario Stadium, was pretty easy and they were neck and neck, with R in the lead. Suddenly, there was a beeping sound on the screen and the dreaded blue shell appeared and hit R just before the finish line on the last lap.

"OH COME ON!" R shouted as Enj and two more drivers passed him, giving Enj a victory in the first race.

"Sometimes that's how it goes," Enj said in a smug voice.

"That was trash!" R said, indignantly. "I was cheated!"

"I guess I'm just a better driver than you," Enj gloated.

"Yeah, we'll see," R said, ready for the next race, which was Sherbet Land. Enj was very confident because he had never lost this track. Enj took an early lead, however at the ? Blocks, R picked up the three red shells.

"Fuck!" Enj said out loud.

"No screen watching!" R shouted as he waited for the perfect opportunity to hit Enj with the weapons. He waited until he got really close to Enj and released the first shell. It hit Enj successfully, but R wasn't close enough to take the lead. Enj gave a little chuckle, which made R want to beat him even more.

The second shell hit a banana instead of Enj. He laughed, "Only one more to go!"

"Oh, just you wait!" R said. Just as he said that, they both got hit with a lightning bolt, knocking the weapons out of their inventories and shrinking them. 

"What!?!" R shouted.

"Seriously?" Enj asked. He had been saving a speaker box to hit R with if he came too close. R used the temporary chaos to catch up to Enj and collect the last weapon of the race. It was a green shell, so he knew he had to aim it perfectly.

He waited to get close to Enj and fired. This one took and he sent Enj spinning as he shouted, "Noooooooo!" R took the lead and won the second race.

"You got lucky," Enj joked.

"No way, that was pure talent," R countered. Enj simply made a "mmmhmm" sound and they got ready for Music Park, the third track. 

The two went back and forth exchanging blow for blow. At the last second, one of the CPUs got a Bullet Bill, which dragged his character to the front of the pack and they won the race, with R coming in second and Enj getting third. 

"Booo!" R yelled at the screen.

"Hey, at least you beat me," Enj offered. "Speaking of, do you want to make another bet?" 

"What do you get if you win?" R asked. "We already ate and most of my bets are motivated by food."

"How about a kiss?" Enj joked.

"Ok, sure," R laughed. "And if I win, _ you _ have to kiss  _ me!"  _

Enj laughed, "Deal." 

The final track was Yoshi Valley. The two were once again neck and neck. They started in second and third positions, so they were able to get better weapons. Enj started out with a red shell, which he used as soon as he could. R got knocked back to fourth and tried to use him bob-omb, but ended up blowing himself up instead. After that, it was smooth sailing for Enj and he won the race.

"Pay up!" Enj said the second the race was over, as he put his controller down and turned to face Grantaire.

"Ok, I guess." R pretended to sound bothered as he leaned over to Enj and gave him a peck on the lips and then pulled back.

Enj was a little disappointed by how short it was. "That's it?" he joked.

"Well any more and technically, you'd also be kissing me and that wasn't what we agreed on," R said as he shrugged.

"Well, what about your consolation prize?" Enj asked.

"What is that?" R asked, moving his face closer to Enj's. Enj placed his finger under R's stubbly chin and led his face gently in for a kiss. R didn't feel like keeping up the charade any longer and kissed him deeper. It wasn't long before Enj's tongue was once again asking to be let in between R's lips. R obliged. Enj began to lean into R, slowly leading R to a lounging position as Enj followed, their lips still touching. Before he knew it, R was lying on his back with Enj hovering above him, his body suddenly positioned between his legs. R stopped and analyzed the situation.

Enj must've picked up his hesitation and asked, "Too much?"

R thought for a second and said, "No, I'll let you know." He pushed his face up toward Enj to beckon him to continue. 

Enj kissed his lips, but then let his mouth leave a trail of kisses down R's neck. _ Payback time, _ Enj thought as he gently began to suck on R's neck. R gasped, then smiled. Enj left a tiny peck where he had just sucked, then continued back up to nibble on R's ear lobe. R could not help but realize that Enj's body was now putting a slight pressure on his pelvic area. He felt the excitement building in his lower half and hoped that his jeans were thick enough that Enj wouldn't notice, because he didn't want him to stop. Enj's mouth was back to skillfully working it's way up and down R's neck as he felt Enj's arm going lower and lower down his left side. When it got to his hip and rested on the bare skin between his sweater and his jeans, he jumped. 

"Everything ok?" Enj stopped and asked.

"Yeah, it just startled me is all," R answered, noticing that his heart was beating very fast. 

"Do you want me to stop?" Enj asked as he stroked his cheek with the hand that hand just left R's hip.

"What else did you have in mind?" R asked, a little nervous.

"Well, we can stop here or we can mess around a little?" Enj laughed.

R blushed, "You mean like, under the clothes?" 

"Yeah," Enj laughed, "you new here?"

R flinched, "Actually, yeah."

"Oh! I'm sorry, I just figured," Enj said, sitting up. R was disappointed, but he knew he better have this conversation.

"Don't be sorry, I mean, I wasn't stopping you. I'm just a little nervous," R explained, propping himself up on his elbows.

"We don't have to if you don't want to. Especially if, you know, you were waiting for something or someone…" Enj trailed off.

"No, it's nothing like that! I just...never got around to it. Virginity is a construct and…" R started to explain awkwardly, "...I've done like 'over the clothes' stuff with Eponine before and I've...um...helped myself..." R began to babble.

"Eponine? Was it serious?" Enj asked.

"No, no. Just trying something. No big deal. But with you…" R said with a smile.

"Yes?" Enj asked, beginning to lean forward again.

"I'm open to hearing some of your ideas," R said as he pulled Enj closer to him by his shirt. Enj answered with a kiss as R leaned back. Enj deepened their kiss as he began to move his hand down again, resting this time between R's belly button and his fly.

"You sure? 100%?" Enj paused and asked.

"Yes," R answered, placing his hand on Enj's and led it towards his zipper. Enj moved in and began kissing R's neck again as he pulled R's zipper down. He gave a small nip on his neck as he pulled the zipper apart and moved his hand lower to rest on R's hard cock through his boxer briefs. R gasped as Enj touched him ever so gently. Enj moved the palm of his hand in a slow circular motion over the area. R gave a short moan as Enj's lips met his again. Even through the clothes, Enj could get a good idea of R's size and shape. He too was very excited, but determined to make this nice for R. He took his thumb and began rubbing the head gently. R began to breathe harder, which Enj took as a very good sign.

"Grantaire, can I move the clothes?" Enj asked as he continued rubbing.

R managed to get out a "yes" between breaths. Enj pulled R's pants down, exposing R's hardness. In all this excitement, R realized he forgot to be embarrassed. He was about the size Enj had pictured, a little hairy, but well groomed. In fact, everything seemed very average, but to Enj, looked so enticing. Enj gave him a lustful eye sweep up and down and said leaned in to kiss R again. 

Enj then moved his thumb softly up and down the vein. R inadvertently bucked his hips so Enj added just a bit more pressure. R moaned a little louder, but then stopped himself from embarrassment. Enj just chuckled and gave him another kiss. He began stroking R a little faster now as he sucked on his neck again. He could tell by R's breathing that he was close. He obliged by helping R finish, another adorable moan included. R collapsed from the release and Enj kissed his cheek. He got up to get a towel and let R rest. He came back to see a starry eyed Grantaire smiling goofily as him. He helped R clean up and get himself readjusted. R sat up, still in a daze.

"Have fun?" Enj asked.

"Mmmhmm," was all R could manage. Enj sat down on the couch next to him and R rolled his head onto Enj's shoulder with a sigh. Enj grabbed R's hand and laced their fingers together. They sat in that position for a few minutes as R recovered.

After awhile, R asked, "Would you like me to help you out?"

Enj responded, "You don't have to feel obligated."

"I want to," he said reassuringly. "As long as you want to."

"I'm not gonna say no," Enj joked. R's hand moved to Enj's inner thigh and gave a little pat. He stood up to let Enj get readjusted and wasted no time undoing Enj's pants. Not to be beaten at this game, he leaned down and gave Enj a kiss just below his belly button as he pulled Enj's jeans and briefs down. For R, it felt like finding the Holy Grail. Enj was already hard and waiting for him. He was, in R's opinion, just the right size in proportion to the rest of him, with blond hair at the base. 

R decided to get right to work since he understood Enj had been waiting quite a while. He reached his hand between Enj's legs and cupped his balls. Enj's eyes got wide.  _ Leave it to Grantaire to surprise me _ , he thought. As R started gently rolling him around between his fingers, Enj's head shot back against the cushion he had propped it on. R leaned in to kiss Enj's stomach as he ran his thumb from the base of Enj's cock to the tip. Enj could've lost it right there, but tried to hold back for a little longer. He felt R's lips move down to kiss his hips as he slowly moved his hand up and down the shaft. R gave him a little love nip right where Enj's leg met his torso, then sat up to finish what he started. Enj was sad to see him stop as he wondered what else those soft lips could do, but he knew he was very quickly reaching climax. He bit his lip as he felt R pick up speed. It wasn't too much longer before  _ he _ let out a moan and finished. 

R quickly wiped him up with the towel as he laid in a daze. He couldn't believe he and R had finally done this, something he'd been wanting to do since junior year. He felt R lay his head down on his stomach to rest. He ran his hand through R's soft curls and R drew circles around his belly button with his finger. Enj realized he was still naked from the waist down and was suddenly embarrassed, though he knew he had no reason to be. He tapped R to get him to sit up and got up to redress himself.

"How did I do?" R asked, nervously.

"You were wonderful. I'm shocked. Not in a bad way, just...you said you hadn't done this before," Enj said as he sat back down.

"Shocked?! I'm offended," R joked. "Well, I  _ am _ the proud owner of one of those and, like I said, I've had some personal experiences." 

Enj laughed and asked, “So, what’s next? You want me to beat you in Mario Kart again before I take you home? Unless you’d rather stay?”

R thought about it. He realized that he probably needed a change of clothes and that he hadn’t prepared for that by bringing any.  _ Something to think about for next time. _

“Hmmm, better take that ride. Not that I’m not enjoying this, it’s just...” R said as he motioned to his crumpled and now somewhat messy outfit.

“I get it. Let me just...use the restroom first and I’ll be out to take you home,” Enj said. He walked out of the room and R readjusted his clothing. After a minute and a change of pants, Enj came back in the room. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” R said. He gave Catria a goodbye pet and they both made their way out. The ride home was quiet, but a comfortable quiet. Enj put his right hand on R’s knee as he drove. R picked up his hand and laced his fingers between Enj’s. They pulled up to R’s house and Enj leaned over, hoping for a good-night kiss. R gave him one and got out of the car before Enj had the opportunity to suck him back in for more. He waved as he opened his front door and stepped in. Enj drove off with a huge smile on his face. 


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yule cookie party and some fun afterwards!  
> Long, but I hope y'all like it. Happy Yule/Winter Solstice

Soon it was time for another Tuesday meeting. This was the first meeting since R and Enj’s date the previous weekend. R had sworn to Enj that he wouldn’t tell anyone about their budding relationship just yet, which made R nervous that he would screw up. In truth, he was extremely excited with how things were going now that the cat was out of the bag that they both had crushes on each other in high school. He also wanted to tell all his friends, who without Enj’s knowledge, had been rooting for the two of them. 

Since their date a few nights ago, they had exchanged very brief, but meaningful text messages. Sometimes one would send the other a heart or kissy face emoji. Sometimes it was a simple “hey.” Either way, R was just thrilled to be getting any at all, text messages that is. Their schedules at the cafe had previously been set so that they would never see each other and now seemed like a deterrent. Neither of them had dared to waver for fear of exposing their secret, though they were not as sneaky as they seemed. 

“You almost ready for the meeting, Enj?” Courf asked as he walked up the ramp to see Enj smiling at his phone in their meeting room.

“Um...yeah. Everyone here yet?” Enj asked as he hastily shoved his phone into his pocket.

“Everyone but R. He messaged the group to say he was running late. What are you  _ smiling _ about?” Courf always was very observant.

“ME? Nothing. Ferre just sent me the totals for the GoFundMe we were running for that family who lost their home in a house fire. $5,000? Isn’t that fantastic?!” Enj said excitedly. Although it was true, the other reason he was smiling was that R had sent him a private message saying that he was “running late, but couldn’t wait to see his face.”

“Yeah, that’s great, but didn’t you get that hours ago?” Courf asked.

“Oh, um..my phone hasn’t been getting messages right. I just got it. Which is great because we can all talk about it together,” Enj said, thinking on his feet.

“Hey, y’all! Register is closed and I’m ready to roll,” Jehan said as they came strutting up the ramp with their usual enthusiasm. “What’s _ your  _ deal?” they asked as they pointed at Enj.

“What?” Enj asked as he shrugged.

“Your face is all red and blushy. Did Courf tell you a dirty joke?” Jehan teased.

“No, it must just be hot up here,” Enj answered, feeling his face get even hotter.

“You better not be sick. I’ve got a honeymoon to go on in a week or so and I do not need to catch anything,” Courf said, backing away from Enj.

“OH, I hope not,” Enj said, feeling his forehead in a dramatic fashion. Jehan and Courf laughed, thinking Enj was just joking around and settled in. The rest of the Amis piled in and the meeting began. They did go over the results of their fundraiser and were thinking of new ones. Someone pitched a toy collection for needy children and they all agreed. The bell downstairs rang and they could all hear Grantaire’s heavy feet bounding up the ramp.

“Hey everyone, sorry I’m late. Ep’s shift ran over,” he said waving and trying not to make eye contact with Enj.  _ Don’t look at him. Looking is a dead giveaway. I’ve never looked at him at these things before right?  _ he thought.

As Grantaire settled, Enj, also trying not to look at him, but noticing how cute he looked, said, “Anyways, Jehan, you had something to add?”

“Yes, so it’s almost time for my annual Yule party where I invite you all over to my apartment to celebrate the Solstice and all that, but if you recall last year there was a noise complaint and I’m on thin ice because a few nights ago I got into a heated argument with…. _ someone _ ...and so I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions,” they explained. Last year, R showed up to the party already tipsy and he and Enj argued over who knocked over Joly’s glass. Joly had tried to brush it off and say he did it, but that only escalated the argument. R remembered and sank deep into his seat.

“Was it Montparnasse?” Enj asked with a bit of a tone in his voice.

“No!...Maybe,” Jehan answered, crossing their arms.

“Jehan, I told you he’s not good for you. He’s just…” Enj began, ready to lecture his friend, when R jumped in.

“We could have it at my place,” R cut in, making everyone turn to him.

“Really?” Jehan asked excitedly, but also happy that Enj’s spiel was cut short.

“Yeah. It’s the least I could do since I made so much trouble for you last year,” R said, looking down at his feet.

“Thank you, R. That’s very sweet of you and you are of course forgiven for last year. We all make mistakes,” Jehan said pointedly as they turned to face Enj and stick their tongue out at him.

“R, do you think that is a good idea?” Enj asked. He was unclear of his own motives in asking such a question. For one, he didn’t want anyone to bring any booze into R’s home and for another, he was just discovering he liked driving R home from places. It gave them some true alone time, away from all their friends, and perhaps someday, an opportunity.

“Yeah, why not?” R said, looking at Enj for the first time that evening.

“It’s just...the Yule party is usually a drinking party,” Enj said, finally looking at Grantaire.

“So?” R snapped back.

“Yeah, Enj. Why can’t you let people make their own life choices,” Jehan added with snark. Enj knew that he and Jehan would have to talk about this later, as he clearly upset them. This only made the situation more tense.

“You’re still newly sober. Could you handle that?” Enj knew he regretted this before it left his mouth, but he said it anyway.

“Well, yeah, but does it have to be a ‘drinking party’?” R asked as he looked around at everyone.

“It doesn’t, but it usually is and I wanted to make sure that you…” Enj said, he cheeks turning red.

“We don’t have to drink. Does everyone agree?” Courf asked, intuitively trying to ease the tension. Everyone nodded and agreed. “We will stand in support of you R. If you’re uncomfortable, we won’t drink because we are all so proud of you, right, Enj?”

“Yes. Of course we are all proud of you R and I trust you to make choices for yourself. I was trying to be helpful and I...apologize,” Enj said. Everyone gasped. Never had Enjolras ever backed down from a fight with R, let alone apologize. This made the wheels in Jehan’s head start to turn and knocked them out of their anger.

“Thank you for saying that Enj. I appreciate it,” R answered.

“Ok, what?” Jehan asked. “Did we just witness a miracle?”

“Anyway,” R said, trying to stop everyone from gawking in surprise.  _ I totally blew it. Jehan definitely knows, _ he thought. “I was thinking it could be a cookie party?” R suggested.

“I don’t know what that is, but I am IN!” Courf said, as he reached across the table to high five R. 

“It’s a party where we all either bring cookies to exchange or a recipe to bake. So at the end of the party, we all have a shit ton of cookies to take home,” R explained.

“THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!” Courf said as he ran up to R and gave him a hug around the neck and kissed him on top of his head. R laughed.

“Ok then, that sounds amazing! So my Yule party is now being held at R’s house and we will all eat cookies. You are all obviously invited if that’s ok with R,” Jehan said. R nodded, trying to break free from Courf’s embrace. “Who’s all coming?” Joly and Bosuet mentioned that they had a vacation planned with Musichetta and couldn’t make it and Bahorel and Feuilly said they would be there, but later since they had cafe duty that day.  _ That leaves R, Enj, me, Courf and Ferre, and possibly Eponine,  _ Jehan thought. “Ok! I can’t wait!”

With that the meeting ended. Enj pulled Jehan aside to apologize as everyone left. R thought about trying to talk to Enj, but decided to get to work in the kitchen.

“Jehan, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you out like that in front of everyone,” Enj explained.

“Yeah, yeah. You’ll make it up to me someday, but first…” Jehan got a devilish look on their face, “What was that about?”

“What was what about?” suddenly realizing what this was going to turn in to.

“You know...the eyes, the blushing,...  _ the apology?” _ Jehan answered with a wink.

“Oh that. I was wrong so I…” Enj tried to explain, blushing and smiling.

“Enjolras, you have never thought you were wrong in your whole life. Spill!” Jehan demanded as they pointed their finger at Enj.

“Spill what, Jehan? Also, I’ve been wrong!...I just don’t usually make it a big deal or anything when I apologize,” Enj said, crossing his arms

“Exactly!” Jehan answered, pointing their finger straight in the air in an AHA! motion. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about! Did you finally tell him?!?” they asked excitedly.

“Tell him what? There’s nothing to tell,” Enj said, blushing even harder.

“So you did tell him! Enj’s that’s great! What did he say? Oh no! Are you acting this way because he rejected you? Aw, babe,” Jehan looked as if they were ready to comfort Enj.

“No, he didn’t...I,” Enj caught himself, realizing what he had done as Jehan’s smirk grew wider.

“So you told him and he _ didn’t _ reject you. What happened next? Did you kiss?” Jehan asked, grabbing Enj’s arm.

“Well ummmm…” Enj said, trying to avoid eye contact.

“Oh my gods! You did?! I’m so happy for you both, really!” Jehan pulled Enj’s tall and lanky frame towards their smaller one for a hug. 

“Please don’t tell anyone yet ok? We’re still...working out the details,” Enj said as he laughed and pulled out of their embrace.

“Oh Enjy...more happened, didn’t it?” Jehan asked as they were now smiling wider than a Cheshire Cat.

“Shhhhhhhh!” Enj said as he put a finger to their lips.

“I get it,” Jehan said.

“I will explain some other time. Just please don’t say anything to anyone yet?” Enj pleaded.

“I promise, out of respect for you and Grantaire, as long as you promise to give me details once your secret is out,” Jehan said, placing their hand over their heart.

“To an extent,” Enj promised, laughing. This satisfied Jehan and they said their goodbyes and left, but not without stopping in the kitchen to say goodbye to R and give him a small wink.

Enj thought he better go talk to R to straighten things out. He walked in the kitchen to see R hard at work making doughs for the next day. 

“What was that about?” R asked.

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?” Enj said with a chuckle. He noticed though, that R wasn’t laughing.

“Well for starters, Jehan winked at me so I’m not sure what you told them,” R said as he hit the dough with a rolling pin.

“I didn’t say anything. It was like they had a sixth sense or something. They must’ve figured it out because we acted so awkward upstairs,” Enj explained. “But that’s not why you’re upset is it?” Enj asked.

“What gave that away?” R asked without looking up.

“The way you’re beating that dough into oblivion?” Enj tried to joke.

“I  _ can  _ handle myself, Enjolras,” he said angrily.

“I know. I shouldn’t have said that,” Enj said, feeling foolish once again.

“You really shouldn’t have. I get it. I’ve broken your trust, what, hundreds of times? But I just figured after everything that we were over this,” R said, finally looking at him.

“Grantaire, I know. Please, I wasn’t thinking, I just embarrassed Jehan because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and somehow I couldn’t stop myself from further embarrassing myself. It won’t happen again,” Enj said sincerely.

“Well if anything, this way, I’m not the one who blew our cover,” R said curtly. “After thinking about it, they could believe me arguing with you, but there is no way you would have ever apologized to me.”

“Maybe you’re right. That’s why Jehan figured it out, little shit,” Enj said, smiling. R chuckled. “R, I hope you’re not mad that I don’t want to tell anyone yet.

“No, I get it. If things get weird, it could fuck stuff up. As long as you’re not ashamed of me or my past,” R said looking away from Enj again.

“Grantaire, never! I would love to tell the world about you. We just have a lot of busybody friends who would ask too many questions. I’m not ready for the harassment yet. That convo with Jehan was stressful enough. I can’t even imagine Courf finding out,” Enj explained as he stepped closer to R.

“As long as you’re sure. You’re right though. Jehan knows too many secrets and we may have to consider eliminating them,” R said as he put down his rolling pin and walked closer to Enj.

Enj wrapped his arms around R’s waist and pulled him close so their torsos were touching, “It’s true. They’re becoming a problem. I’ll order a hit tomorrow morning,” Enj joked as he gave R a kiss on his forehead.

“I really did miss you,” R said as he moved himself up on his toes to his Enj’s lips. He decided he could figure out if he was still angry later.

“I missed you, too,” said Enj as his hands moved off of R’s waist and onto his ass.

“Not here. It’s a bit unsanitary. Don’t you think?” R said as he moved Enj’s hands off of him gently.

“I suppose you’re right,” Enj smiled. “When is our next date?” 

“I was thinking maybe after the cookie party, you could stay and help me  _ clean up _ ?” R said suggestively.

“I like the way you think,” Enj said. He gave R one last kiss and let him get back to work. Even though he desperately wanted more, he decided it was worth the wait.

**********************************************************

Grantaire was buzzing around his house cleaning up before the guests arrived. He moved his tv out of his bedroom into his living room, mostly so he could use it as a stereo for his Spotify app.  _ The kitchen is spotless, I remembered to buy extra toilet paper, the floor was swept _ , he thought to himself as he checked off his mental list. Just then, his doorbell rang.

Courf and Ferre were at the door with some sort of giant red bag and a box. R knew they liked to be on time or early for Ferre’s sanity, but they were over a half hour early. 

“Hey, R. I hope you don’t mind that we’re so early, but we brought you a surprise!” Courf said as he entered the house and put the box he was carrying on the sofa. Ferre followed behind lugging the bag to the side of the door and into the open space by the window. He struggled, but Courf seemed too wrapped up in hugging R hello to bother helping.

“It’s not a big deal. Jehan is coming in a few minutes to help setup since it’s technically their party. What is all this?” R asked.

“Well...since we will be on our honeymoon for Christmas, we thought we’d surprise you by loaning you our Christmas tree since we know you don’t usually have one. I hope you don’t mind. We just thought it would not only be good decoration for the party, but something to remind you of us while we’re away,” Courf joked. 

Ferre was doubled over panting through his asthma attack and waved at R. “Hi, R. Here good?”

“That’s good, Ferre…and I decorated a little.” He gestured to a stuffed reindeer on his countertop and window-sticky Santa in his kitchen window. “But thank you so much. I haven’t had a tree in a long time.” R wasn’t really one to celebrate holidays since his family was so dysfunctional. Most holidays felt like a chore and someone always ended up in tears. R did still love Christmas time as a whole, though. It was at its core, a lot like him, big showy lights signifying a constant unlived up to potential. The season was full of a hope he had always held onto despite most of the world giving him a reason not to. There is a tragic beauty to Christmas, a dark underbelly decorated with glitz and glamour. Still, he was thankful his friends thought of him and were undyingly generous to him.

“No worries, bud. Ferre and I will set this up while you keep working,” Courf said with a smile.

The doorbell rang and in popped Jehan wearing reindeer antlers and a sweater that on anyone else may have been classified as an ugly Christmas sweater, but on Jehan was a fashion choice. There was a white, sequined llama on a red and green checkerboard pattern and the words “Fa la la la Llama” printed on it. They also had on black leggings with glittery Christmas light bulbs wrapping around the legs. “Happy Yule, y’all!” they cried out as they greeted R and came in with yet another box. “R, I hope you don’t mind that I asked Ferre and Courf to help decorate your place. I know this kind of stuff isn’t really your  _ thing. _ ”

“Oh yeah, it’s great! I figured I’d give you all the creative control, since you’d probably just take it anyway,” R said with a laugh as he booped Jehan on the nose. R realized he was still wearing his sweats that he was wearing to clean in. He excused himself and let his friends get to work. He trusted them completely, but was a little overwhelmed by all the hustle and bustle.  _ Maybe Enj was right. Maybe I can’t handle this,  _ he thought. In truth, Eponine, Courf, and Enj had been the only ones of his friend group that he had really let into his home up until now. He liked his privacy and until now, enjoyed not letting anyone in, to an extent. This was a major trust exercise for him. Having this ongoing situation with his father had shattered what little trust he had in the world.  _ This is healthy _ , he reassured himself as he put on his sweater he had bought just for today. It was red, green, and yellow in a kind of funky old school pattern with a t-rex wearing a Santa hat on it. He shoved himself into his black skinny jeans and figured he better get back out there.

By the time he got there, Courf and Ferre had erected a 7ft tall, green, plastic tree in front of his window. Jehan pulled him into the kitchen to go over the game plan.

“Ok, so I brought some recipes and Courf and Ferre brought some. At around 4, I’ll confirm with the pizza people that we’re ready for them. I’m going to keep it very secular, but I do want to do a little toast to the gods, not a big thing since I’ll do most of that in private, and the rest of the time is cookies and music and what have you,” they explained in what seemed like one long breath.

“Sounds good, Jehan. Baking is my thing, I’ll leave the party part to you,” R said with a smile.

“Everything ok?” asked Jehan, seeing R looking a little low energy.

“Yeah, just a little overwhelmed. A lot going on out here and in here,” R said pointing to his temple.

“If anything is too much, please let me know. It’s my party, but it’s your personal space we’re invading,” Jehan said as they pat R on the back.

“No, it’s good. You’re right though, this isn’t usually my thing. I’m stepping way out of my comfort zone,” R said.

“And we’re all so proud of you. Things are changing for the better. You don’t have to hide from us anymore. You don’t have to suffer alone anymore. We’re here for you, some of us more than others,” Jehan said with a wink.

R chuckled, “About that. Please don’t tell anyone. I don’t know what you know, but I know that you know something and I guess we’re not ready to talk about it yet,” R asked of Jehan.

“Of course, babe. I know about discretion. I’m just happy for you both and know that I’m cheering you on no matter what the outcome,” Jehan said, giving R a hug.

“About that,” R said as they hugged, “What did you and Parnasse fight about?” R felt Jehan try to pull back, but he playfully tightened his hug so they couldn’t squirm away.

“Nothing, I swear!” Jehan wiggled free and laughed.

“Uh huh,” R said with an eyeroll, “You know everyone else’s secrets, so in your own words, ‘Spill.’”

“Well, I never said we were exclusive and he got a little mad that he wasn’t my date to the wedding,” Jehan explained.

“Oh, is that all? Enj’s probably would’ve decked him if he showed up,” R chuckled

“That’s true. But he was mad that, not only did I not invite him, but I went with someone else,” Jehan said.

“Who?!” R exclaimed.

“Eponine, of course,” Jehan said.

“I did see that a little bit, yeah,” R said with a nervous laugh.

“Oh?” Jehan’s face turned red. “Well, she is the only one around here with any sense of fashion or personal taste.”

“Oh it’s fine. Never saw that coming, but it’s cool.” Then R made a face like he was about to cry, “It’s just that...I thought she was  _ my _ plus one,” he fake sobbed.

“Oh please, like you and Enj didn’t disappear outside for, like twenty minutes!” Jehan rebutted.

“OK that’s enough of that conversation,” R said, trying to dodge that bullet.  _ Of course they saw,  _ he thought. “So anyway, cookies?” 

“Yeah, you better preheat the oven before you stick ‘em in,” Jehan said with a smirk.

“Yup, I know how cookies work, Jehan, thank you!” R said as he turned bright red. 

“Oh you do? I thought this was your  _ first  _ cookie party,” Jehan continued to tease.

“Well, I have looked things up on the internet and have practiced baking in my private time, unlike some people I know who will take recipes from  _ any source! _ ” R snapped back.

Jehan gasped with a huge smile on their face. “A good journalist always looks for the best possible sources!” Jehan said, lightly slapping R on the arm. 

They both laughed loudly as Courf cried out from the other room, “Ok, we’re ready, come on in!”

Jehan and R walked back into the living room to see the tree beautifully decorated with gold tinsel and colorful twinkling lights, everything but ornaments. It was so bright and beautiful. An instant calm fell over the room. R began to tear up a little. A real Christmas tree in  _ his _ home. The silence was broken by the doorbell ringing. Enj and Eponine showed up right on time for the party to begin.

  
  


************************************************

  
  


Enj and Eponine walked in, greeting everyone with hugs. Eponine was wearing a red and white striped sweater and dangling candy cane earrings, which could be seen clearly because her hair was tied back into a high ponytail. Enjolras had on a red cable knit sweater, which wasn’t really anything different than what he would usually wear, and black jeans, and he had a backpack on. Eponine’s hug with Jehan was a little awkward, but not as awkward as Enj stopping just before hugging R and choosing to give him a handshake instead, which everyone couldn’t help but notice. 

As Eponine greeted Grantaire she whispered, “That was weird. The house looks great though!” 

“Yeah, he’s an interesting character. Thanks, but it was all Courf and Ferre,” R explained, pulling out of their embrace. 

“Shall we get this party started?” Jehan exclaimed. They were met with cries of agreeance. R, Jehan, and Courf moved into the kitchen and everyone else stood at the window between the kitchen and dining room. “So who brought recipes and who brought cookies?” they asked.

“I brought cookies, but I left them in my car. Be right back!” Ep explained as she bolted out the door.

“I brought some, too,” Enj said as he turned back to the couch where he had placed his backpack and pulled out a tupperware. In the container were a few dozen sugar cookies with M&M’s and candy cane bits baked into them. 

“Those look good, Enj. Did you make them?” Ferre asked.

“Yeah, it was an old recipe my grandmother used to make and I thought I’d give it a try,” Enj answered nervously. “I’m not usually a baker so I hope they’re edible.”

“You’ve helped me bake before and you did fine,” R said, attempting to comfort Enj. He then realized he maybe shouldn’t have said that.  _ Oh no, Enj is gonna be pissed. Am I being too obvious?  _ he thought.

“Thanks, R,” Enj said blushing.  _ Why does he have to be so cute?  _ Enj thought to himself.

“Oh that’s right! You  _ did _ help R with all the baked goods for the fundraiser. I remember him telling me when we worked the booth together,” Jehan said, trying to alleviate the tension. Enj shot them a grateful smile. 

Eponine was back and carrying a tray of sugar cookies and a few cans of frosting. “Gav helped me with these. I didn’t frost them yet because I didn’t want it to get everywhere in the container. Hope that’s ok,” she said, apologetically.

“No need to worry, Pony. That’s what this party is all about,” R said with a smile. Courf and Ferre brought a recipe for peanut butter blossoms and Jehan brought a recipe for snickerdoodles. R got out his binder full of recipes.

“I figured, I’d let you all decide what you were going to make and then I would make whatever,” R said. R explained his choice was Oreo balls so that other people could use the oven. “So, since none of the recipes except mine require any chilling, where do you want to start?” The group consensus was the peanut butter blossoms.

R got them a mixing bowl and told them to have at it, then he preheated the oven for them. Their personalities were very much the opposite of their baking styles. Ferre was a bit nervous in the kitchen, a bit frantic and messy. Courf on the other hand was precise and calm. As they mixed the dough, R prepared the cookie sheets, Eponine and Jehan unwrapped chocolate kisses and were feeding some to each other, and Enjolras waited to help roll the dough into balls. He would roll it and then hand them over to R so he could place them on the cookie sheets. Everytime Enj had to hand one to R, it made Enj sad he couldn’t give him even the tiniest little smooch. R was sad he couldn’t lick the dough off Enj’s fingers.

The recipe was supposed to make about three dozen cookies. Since Ferre’s were a little on the small size, they ended up somewhere near forty, which everyone agreed would be fine because there was more to eat. Once they were in the oven, they had some free time to do a quick round of dishes. Courf and Ferre offered to take this round since the peanut butter blossoms were their cookies. R got out his three level cooling rack. As soon as they were out of the oven, Jehan and Eponine hurriedly placed the chocolates on the cookies. They raced each other and when Eponine won, she said, “HA!” and Jehan pouted. She grabbed them by the hand and gave Jehan a small peck on their cheek. 

Jehan smiled and they were brushed aside by Grantaire saying, “You two are gross. None of this distasteful display in front of the cookies.” He carried the trays over to the cooling rack and began transferring them.  _ I doubt Enj will ever want to show that kind of affection in front of anyone. I wonder if that’s just how he is or if it’s because it’s me, _ he thought to himself sadly. Still, he was happy for Eponine. It seemed like she and Jehan would make a really happy couple if everything worked out between them.  _ After everything they’ve both done for me, they deserve to be happy.  _

“Well, next up are _ my _ cookies and we can be as disgusting as we want in front of them,” Jehan joked to Eponine, who nodded and laughed. Jehan read all the steps of the recipe before they started.

“I call using the mixer,” Eponine stated. Jehan agreed that she could.

“You? You’re going to let someone else be in charge of something?” Courf joked.

“Yes. Eponine is trustworthy and gets things done, unlike some people I know,” Jehan scoffed.

“Hey!” Enj said, pretending to be offended.

“You get  _ some  _ things done, I suppose,” they said as they handed Eponine the hand mixer. “R I’m shocked you don’t have a stand mixer with all the baking you do,” Jehan pointed out.

“Actually, the electric is new. I’ve been mixing by hand for years,” R stated.

“Really? That’s a lot of work for the arms,” Enj said and then immediately regretted it.

“Well, I like to keep my hands busy,” R said with a smirk. Enj wanted to laugh, but held back and turned it into a scowl.

“Easy, R. You’ll offend Enj’s delicate nature. No need to be vulgar,” Courf joked. Enj actually scowled at him.

This time, Jehan and Eponine would roll the dough and then pass them to Enj and Ferre to roll in cinnamon, before handing it to R to place on the trays. Courf went into the other room to pick background music. “R, why are all your playlist all emo trash?” Courf asked sarcastically.

“I don’t know, Courf, why don’t you have any good taste in music?” R volleyed.

“Courf, leave him alone. You know he’s a downhearted soul most of the time,” Ferre said. This made everyone laugh, which confused Ferre. He was often someone people would describe as “accidentally funny,” usually because he wasn’t trying to make a joke when everyone laughed.

“That’s right, Ferre. I am a wistful creature who deserves your pity, not your judgement,” R joked.

“Precisely. Which is why I pity all these playlists,” Courf shouted back as he found a Christmas playlist. “Is this the one with Fall Out Boy and New Found Glory’s Christmas songs on it?” 

“Yeah, why?” R asked

Courf sighed, “I guess this will have to do. As long as it has My Chem’s ‘All I want for Christmas’. I prefer Mariah, but I doubt I will be hearing that on your account.

“It’s on there. It’s a pretty good mix actually,” R said, walking into the living room. “See, we have Pentatonix, Trans-siberian Orchestra,  _ Mariah, _ Ella and Louis, Something Corporate,  _ Ariana Grande,  _ Sinatra…”

“Fine. A little of everything is good,” Courf said as Ferre snuck up behind him and gave him a hug. As an involuntary reflex, R looked to see where Enj was. He was in the kitchen drying dishes with Eponine. He noticed R and gave a little wave. R’s heart melted as he shyly waved back. Then Enj turned to help some more and the moment was over. R was lonely again. It was bad enough with Courf and Ferre and Jehan and Eponine all being cute together, but the fact that he  _ could  _ be doing the same with Enj made it all feel worse.

Jehan called for the pizza and R shooed everyone out of the kitchen so he could work on the Oreo balls in peace. They quickly frosted Eponine’s cookies and then settled in. Ferre sat in the armchair and Courf cuddled up in his lap. Jehan and Eponine sat next to each other on the couch and quietly joked with one another. That left Enj to sit alone on one of the extra chairs R had set up. 

Courf saw Enj looking a little lost and said, “Hey, Enj? Do you know where the bathroom is? Can you show me?” Enj jolted out of his daydream, agreed, and followed Courf down the hall. “Hey, you ok?” Courf asked Enj right outside of the bathroom.

“Yeah why?” Enj asked.

“You just seem down and a little quiet today. Usually that means you’re overthinking something,” Courf explained.

“Oh, it’s nothing. You and Ferre are doing the newlywed thing and I think Jehan and Eponine might be dating now. I didn’t want to get in the way of what you guys had going on, you know?” Enj said.

“Why don’t you...hang out with R?” Courf suggested.

Enj’s eyes widened in fear,  _ What does he know? _ “R seemed like he needed some alone time. I think he’s a little overwhelmed by everyone being in his space.”

“You’re not everyone. Why don’t you at least ask if he wanted help with the cookie dough?” Courf hinted.

“Oh he’s got it handled I think,” Enj deflected.

“ENJOLRAS...Go. Talk. To. Him.” Courf said smiling, but through gritted teeth.

“Ok, ok. I’ll go. Jeez,” Enj said, waving his arms above his head like he was asked to do something inconvenient. Courf rolled his eyes. Enj walked into the kitchen to find R rolling his rolling pin over a ziplock bag filled with Oreos. 

“Hey, you need any help?” he asked nervously.

“I don’t  _ need  _ help. But if you would like to help, you can,” R said.

“Ok, what can I do?” Enj asked. 

“I’m trying to crush these Oreos into teeny tiny pieces since I don’t have a food processor. If you’d like, I have another bag to do and a second rolling pin,” R explained, pointing to the second bag.

“Sure,” Enj said, picking up the rolling pin.

“Having a nice time at the party?” R said trying to make small talk during the tedious work.

“To be honest, it’s just ok,” Enj said. He looked through the window into the living room to see that Courf had returned and everyone was once again occupied. “Everyone is being lovey dovey and such.”

“What? Are you feeling left out?” R asked.

“A little, yeah,” Enj said, turning to him and smiling.

“You are the one who said ‘We CaN’t TeLl AnYoNe’,” R said, play-mocking Enj.

“I know. I’m starting to regret it a little,” Enj said.

“You are?!” R said in a hopeful tone.

“Just a little. But also, I don’t know if I could ever be as gross as them,” Enj said with a laugh as they both watched Courf and Ferre rub noses.

“Yeah, that’s a bit much. I don’t think that’s us,” R said with a chuckle.

“What do you think ‘us’ would be like?” Enj asked.

“The same as we are now. Arguing all the time, challenging each other in front of people. Maybe a little ass grab now and then,” R laughed.

“Oh, how romantic!” Enj joked.

“Every once in a while, I get to reassure you in front of people without everyone looking at us weird. Maybe every so often, we kiss,” R said as he finished rolling his cookies into crumbs.

“That sounds kinda nice,” Enj said, finishing as well. 

R set up the mixer and poured the cookie crumbs and softened cream cheese into a bowl. He handed the hand mixer to Enj. “Get to work,” R joked. 

Enj began mixing the ingredients together. He watched his friends in the living room canoodle. They were all very distracted. He was just starting to wonder if he could find a reason for him and R to sneak away to the bedroom, when he felt R’s hand on his lower back. It slowly travelled down and gave him a light slap on the left cheek. Then he felt R move away and heard him working on something in the background.  _ We would be fine for five minutes right? Ten minutes? No one would notice until the moaning started, and the music’s on so maybe not?  _ Enj thought as he continued mixing.

“Looks about done,” R said, popping out of seemingly nowhere and snapping Enj back to reality. “Now they’ve got to chill for about fifteen minutes,” R said.

_ That would be just the right amount of time, _ Enj thought as he did all he could to not jump on R right there. “So what do we do until then?” Enj said suggestively.

“Enj, there are four other people here. They’re going to figure it out if we just disappear for fifteen minutes,” R said with a sigh.

“No, I have a plan,” Enj said. “R I’ll be right back! I’m going to the bathroom!” Enj shouted so everyone could hear, then whispered to R, “Figure out a reason to get to your room and I’ll meet you there.” Enj walked down the hall and waited.

R did not have any faith in this plan, but  _ he _ also didn’t care if people knew about the two of them. He walked into the living room and asked, “Hey, you guys need anything?” They all said no. “Ok, I’m gonna go down the hall to grab some extra cans of pop for the fridge. Holler if you need anything.” They all barely registered what R was saying or didn’t care about his lame excuse. Either way, R walked down the hallway and into his bedroom. He barely had time to close the door or turn on the light when Enj greeted him at the door and kissed him deeply. “Easy, tiger,” R said as Enj pulled him closer and started biting his ear. 

“We don’t have a lot of time so I want to make it count,” Enj explained as his hands drifted lower and lower down R’s body. R kissed him as he felt Enj’s hands on the front of his pants through his jeans. He moaned, but then stopped himself. 

“Enj, we can’t. We have guests and I’m uncomfortable doing this while they're in the house,” R said, pulling back a little.

Enj stopped immediately, “Sorry, R. I just got excited.”

“It’s ok. Hold on to whatever game plans you had and  _ maybe  _ after everyone leaves, we can see about them,” R said with a smile. He was thankful to have such an understanding partner.  _ Is Enj my partner? Lover?...Boyfriend?  _ R thought.

Enj smiled and left the room. He went into the bathroom and flushed the toilet and ran the sink so everyone wouldn’t get suspicious. R found a few cans of Cola to carry with him and put in the fridge.  _ No one will ever suspect a thing, _ they both thought.

After the fifteen minutes were over, Enj and R quickly rolled the balls in melted chocolate and put them in the freezer, stopping every so often to accidentally bump into each other. The doorbell rang when the pizza arrived, so everyone settled in front of the tv to eat. 

Before everyone started eating, Jehan asked for their attention, “I’ll make this quick because I know not everyone has the same beliefs as me, but I would just like to say thank you to the gods for my friends, this food, and all our success,” they said raising their can of pop. Everyone raised their drinks to toast as well. Jehan had done a bigger ceremony that morning, so that was all they felt they needed to say, and thanked everyone for their time. 

Jehan joined Eponine on the couch, Ferre was still on the armchair, and Courf, Enj, and R sat on the floor around R’s coffee table. Since Enj and R were toward the back where no one could see, Enj gave R a little pinch on his butt.

Courf had brought a few dvds to watch during down time and popped one in, his favorite, A Diva’s Christmas Carol starring Vanessa Williams. They watched happily as they ate. The doorbell rang and Feuilly and Rel walked in as promised after shutting down the cafe for the night. They had all agreed to close early that night so they could join the party, too. Rel brought plain peanut butter cookies he said his mom helped him make and Feuilly brought chocolate chip, simple and classic. Rel was excited he was there in time for dinner. He took three slices and sat in a chair behind R and Enj. This made Enj a little sad, because there would be no more sneak attacks. Feuilly plopped down next to Enj, mouth already full with pizza, and gave him a nod hello. Normally, Enj would happily sit with his friends and gorge himself, but his mind was elsewhere. R, however, was loudly chatting with Rel to the point where Courf  _ shhhhh’d _ him. 

After the movie was over, it was time to split up all the cookies. Since there were eight of them, it was hard to divide them up evenly, so they started with four a piece, and then let people decide on their favorites. Feuilly was tired so he and Rel excused themselves after a while. Courf and Ferre also took their leave. R thanked them over and over for the use of their tree. Courf whispered to him, “Make good use of it,” and winked as he and Ferre headed out. 

“What do you need help with, R?” Jehan asked as they and R were in the kitchen breaking down pizza boxes.

“Nothing, you’ve been a great help,” R said with a smile.

“I really can’t thank you enough for letting me hold the party here. Seriously, anything?”

“To be honest, Jehan,” R looked around to see when Enj and Ep were and saw they were chatting by the tree, “Enj actually offered to stay after and help me tidy up,” R said, blushing.

“Oh? OH!” Jehan said with a happy squeal. 

R  _ shhhh’d  _ them and whispered, ”Tell no one.”

“You got it! Eponine, I’m ready to head out. I’ll see you tomorrow?” Jehan said walking swiftly out of the kitchen.

“You bet,” she said with a smile and gave them a deep hug. “I better get going, too.” She gave Enj and R hugs goodbye as well. “R, text me later?” she said as she waved. R agreed. As the door closed, Enj snuck up behind R and wrapped himself around him.

“At least wait til they drive away,” R joked, leaning back into Enj. He did wait and then pulled R by the hand to turn and face him. Once again, he began to kiss R. “Come on, I want to hear your ideas,” R said, taking him down the hall to his bedroom.

They got into the room and Enj’s hands quickly moved back to where they were before they were interrupted. R wrapped his arms around Enj’s neck to boost himself up and kiss him deeper. Enj slowly backed R onto the bed and sat him down. He leaned down in front of him and tugged at the bottom of R’s shirt. With his lips still close to R’s, he asked if it was ok if he took R’s shirt off. R agreed and the shirt came off. He gently pushed R to get him into a lying position. Enj had seen R without his shirt before during the summer and at beach days, but something about seeing him in this position made him appreciate R’s well toned, but still soft and slightly chest and belly. 

“It’s only fair if you take yours off, too,” R said jokingly, and Enj obliged. R admired Enj’s slender, yet semi-muscular torso. He had some hair, but it was blond like the hair on his head (which was knocked loose from its pony when he removed his shirt) and wasn’t very noticeable. He didn’t have long to look though, as Enj placed himself in a kneeling position, straddling R’s frame. Enj leaned forward for more kisses and then moved his mouth on to R’s neck. R moved his hands to Enj’s hips as he hovered above him, getting a little dizzy as Enj sucked his neck. He felt Enj’s hand move to the zipper of his pants. Enj asked if it was ok again, before plunging his hand down R’s boxer briefs and wrapping his fingers around R’s hard cock. R moaned loudly, grateful the house was empty. Enj moved his hand up and down just a little, but then stopped and pulled his hand out.

“Are you ready to see what I had in mind?” Enj asked.

“Absolutely,” R half moaned.

Enj continued kissing R’s neck and then moved his kisses slowly down to R’s chest. He stopped at R’s nipple and began to suck. R gasped with pleasure. Enj took the noise as a sign of approval and began flicking his tongue in a circular motion around the sensitive area. R placed his hand on Enj’s back. Not to waste time and forever a multitasker, Enj moved his hand into R’s pants again. He decided it was time to move on and kissed down to R’s belly button, where he laid a kiss right underneath. 

“Would you like me to keep going lower?” Enj asked looking up at R for both consent and because he liked this angle. R agreed and Enj helped him take off the remainder of his clothes. Enj realized this was the first time he had seen R fully naked. R must’ve realized that too, because he suddenly tensed up.

“You’re so handsome,” Enj said with a smile as he looked at R’s full form.

“Thanks,” R said, blushing.

“Now where was I?” Enj asked, lowering himself so he was at face level with R’s cock. R could only watch and wait in curiosity as Enj stayed there for just a second before he held it gently in his hands and gave the tiniest kiss to the very tip. R let out a low moan when Enj took the tip into his mouth and began sucking ever so lightly as his fingers began to move along the shaft. R felt very dizzy again and flung his head back onto the pillow. He desperately wanted to watch so he tried to keep his composure. He lifted his head again just in time to see Enj run his tongue along the vein on the from base to tip, staring at R as he did it. Enj’s hair wildly fanned out over his face so he quickly gathered it up and pulled it to one side before returning to work.

“Oh, Enj,” R was all R was able to say as Enj took the whole length into his mouth. R flung his head back again as Enj sucked harder. Enj’s hand moved to cup R’s balls and began to play with them as he sucked. R inadvertently bucked his hips in response and quickly apologized. Enj just laughed and kept going. R moved his arms down to touch Enj’s shoulders as he felt Enj begin to move up and down. Enj moved his one hand to R’s hip to steady himself. R put his hand on Enj’s and warned him, “I’m close, Enj.” Enj took it as a sign to speed up and R finished with Enj’s lips wrapped around him. 

R let go of Enj’s hand and covered his face. Enj rested his head on R’s thigh as they both tried to catch their breath. After a minute, Enj crawled up to join R, who was in a daze. 

“That was incredible,” R said after he was able to breathe. Enj cupped R’s cheeks in his hands and gave R a kiss on his forehead.

“Be right back,” Enj said as he left the room. R was left to lay by himself in a stupor. He couldn’t believe what had just occurred and he definitely wanted to try that out for himself. He was still very self conscious about sex and was worried that his lack of expierence would show. Clearly, he was out of his league, and he was nervous Enj would think so too. Enj came back in a moment later.

“Where did you go?” R asked.

“Brush my teeth,” Enj answered matter-of-factly.

“Oh. Sorry,” R blushed. 

“Standard procedure, for myself at least,” Enj had forgotten that R probably hadn’t done that before. “Not because it’s gross or anything. Just general hygiene.”

“As long as you’re sure,” R said. “Wait, where did you get a toothbrush?”

“In my backpack. I got a lot of things in there if you’re curious,” Enj laughed.

“So you had this planned since before you got here?” R laughed.

“Doesn’t hurt to be prepared, and it hurts to be underprepared,” Enj joked.“So speaking of which...what now?” Enj asked with a wink. 

“I want to try it,” R said, sitting up.

“You do? Again, you don’t have to feel obligated…” Enj started.

“No, I really want to. Like  _ really  _ want to,” R said with a smile.

Enj bit his lip and took this as an opportunity to undress slowly. If R wasn’t already spent, that may have gotten him right then and there. He decided that was an image to save for later. Enj approached R, who was still sitting on the bed. R was tired of being teased. He pulled Enj closer to him and kissed him along the one side of the V on his stomach, down to his cock. R was determined not to show how nervous he was. He wrapped his fingers around Enj and gently stroked. Enj moaned and leaned in closer to R. He was excited to find out how R's soft lips felt on other parts of his body.

_It’s now or never,_ R thought. He put his lips around the very tip of Enj’s cock and began to move slowly. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to get it very deep or even as deep as Enj got him, so he had to improvise. He moved the hand that wasn’t around Enj to Enj’s ass and gave it a squeeze holding Enj in place. As his tongue moved up and down the shaft, he moved his hand to explore Enj. His hand came to rest just under Enj’s cheek and very close to Enj’s entrance.

Enj began to moan and as he felt R’s tongue swirling on the tip of his cock and his fingers graze his opening. He wanted desperately to ask R to push inside, but he wasn’t sure if R was ready.  _ That’s for next time, _ he thought as his legs got heavier. R asked him if he wanted to sit down, so he did. R kneeled down in front of him and got back to work. R felt he was starting to get the hang of things and took Enj in his mouth a little deeper. Enj placed his hand on top of R’s head and wrapped his fingers in R’s dark curls. R took the cue and began to move his head up and down a little faster. He wrapped both his arms around Enj’s hips and was proud of himself for being able to take half of Enj’s length. He was extremely curious to find out what the final result tasted like. Enj was losing control and pulled a little too hard on R’s hair. He gasped that he was sorry, but R continued and moved even faster.

“Grantaire…” was all Enj was able to get out before finishing. He meant to warn R, but it all happened too fast. Enj collapsed backward onto the bed. R smiled and savored the taste that meant a job well done. He got off of his knees and smiled as Enj whose eyes were still closed. He went to brush his teeth and when he came back, Enj was propped up on the bed again.

“You sure you never did that before?’ Enj asked jokingly.

“Yeah, but I thought about it a lot,” R smiled back. R joined him and the two snuggled sideways on the bed for a bit. It was getting late and it was time to figure out how to close out the evening.

“Would you like me to stay or should I get going?” Enj asked.

“I’m not ready for you to leave, but...” R started to say.

“I get it. Maybe some other time.” Enj smiled and kissed him on the forehead. “I’m getting sleepy so I better get going.”

“Well, you don’t have to if you think it’s not safe for you to drive,” R explained.

“I’m not  _ that  _ tired. Just getting there,” Enj said. 

They both got up and started to get dressed. R led Enj to the kitchen to grab his cookies and gave him a kiss. He was torn between thinking it was too soon for a full sleepover and never wanting Enj to leave ever again. 

“Thank you for a lovely party,” Enj joked as he began to leave.

“Yeah, we should do this again sometime,” R said with a smirk. He gave him one last kiss.

He watched Enj walk to his car and saw him wave before he drove away. The house was quiet now. After a long day filled with people, it felt nice, but without Enj, felt a bit lonely. He looked at his loaned Christmas tree one last time, then turned off the lights and went to bed.


End file.
